Hanging out the front ? Why ?

[wolfinfoxesclothing]

So where I live there is a lot of parents with young children. All houses have back gardens, but they all seem to hang around out the front of there houses. We don't live on a cul-de-sac, it's a normal road with traffic and not that much pavement. So they are actually standing there with their toddlers and little children playing in the road. Why? I don't get it ? I know they are talking watching but it's not safe.

No idea. But people who live on my street do it. Then all you hear is them shouting: get back here, I told you not about l go that far, don't cross the road, get in now. If that doesn't work they start swearing instead.
Personally I prefer my son to play out the back where it's safe

I think it traditionally is a working class thing. I was brought up in a working class community and now live in a very middle class area. My DM and I enjoy sitting out on the front doorstep in the sun with a cuppa, saying hi to whoever passes by. But some of the neighbours look faintly horrified and I don't think DH loves it either

behind-your-back tits

behind-your-back tits and eye rolls?

OMg Im howling at that!

How very dare people use their front gardens when they should ONLY be used to access the front door or be a part of open gardens to look pretty.

Lady over the road from me has a little boy, she's a single mother and her little boy is very hard work from what I've seen mine was the same at 4 with mega tantrums and meltdowns Little boy wants to play with other children but he needs supervising. So she sits out front under a shady tree and watches him. It's no skin off my nose and we live on a leafy, new build estate with some very snooty people. I really don't care, they're happy and the little boy is socialising as is his mum.

So much judgement on people who are just trying to live and remain sane and social..

Behind your back tits reminded me of Back to Backs wonders if I have to explain the concept to those whose idea of a small house is a 3 bed semi with gardens.

What about people who live in back to backs? Is it acceptable for them to sit in their front garden, it being the only one they have?

Or if it's one of those back to backs with no garden at all is it OK to sit in the street or are they banished inside their small, poorly appointed abode?

What about people who live in little village houses in Spain or other southern European countries who can often be found sat on their dining chairs on the pavement in front of their house. Are they judged in the same way as a British person in front of their house in the UK?

Children can all ‘play together’ in the back garden. Mums can ‘have a natter’ in the back garden. None of these reasons explain why this socialising has to be done in the front garden specifically.

Children can all ‘play together’ in the back garden.

Playing in just the back garden can be a bit limiting. If the children are playing in the street then you may want to keep an eye on them by sitting in the front garden.

What difference does it really make to anyone

@BarbaraofSevillle ashamedly I only found out what a back to back was this year when a friend bought one in a very pretty part of Yorkshire. My Southern roots are showing....

Children can all ‘play together’ in the back garden. Mums can ‘have a natter’ in the back garden. None of these reasons explain why this socialising has to be done in the front garden specifically.

It’s not that it has to be done in the front. It’s just that that’s where the people involved want it to happen. For all sorts of reasons. Im not sure why you have such a problem with it. How does it affect you?

I think this is a middle class area?! What is the criteria. Expensive housing, people with posh cars, me lowering the tone with my old banger. Nearly all parents both working. The people hang out in the early evening or weekends. Not massive front gardens at all, so children are literally in the road/ small pavements. Not seen fags & tinnies yet. 2-6 families at times.

Is the term nouveau riche ? Maybe the were brought up in working class families, so it's normal to them. I never played out as kids but I grew up in London rather than the leafy surburbs. Maybe it's a burbs thing ?

I do go and chat briefly sometimes , but I find it super stressful with all the cars and trying to keep an eye on my DC, plus trying to get other people's DC out of the road. It's probably lovely but not on a busy road. But I don't want to seem unfriendly.

I don't want to sound judgey it's more the safety side of it. I don't see the appeal. But maybe they are social than me.

What happens when you allow the entire street to play in back gardens is that the family with the trampoline or football nets end up being swamped with kids treating their garden like a soft play centre and invading their house for toilets and drinks and hanging around at 8am on a Sunday to get into the garden and using it when the family isn’t there. All while their own parents are blissfully unaware because Karen up the street is watching their kids ‘cause they love going there.

There’s no reason they couldn’t pull up the deckchairs and socialise in the BACK garden...

It's completely different.
If you invite people into the BACK garden, then you become 'host'. You also become 'responsible for' other people's dc. dc want drinks / tip tops / snacks, or they want the toilet, or they fall out, or you might have different 'rules' from their parents, or they might have a bump or hurt themselves. Out the front, everyone is still responsible for their own dc, or, as they get older, they play out on their own and go home when they need something.
Plus, other dc that you don't know can join in - you don't have to have been inspected and dbs checked and got emergency contact details and all the other things some MNers seem to think should be in place before you allow your dc to go to someone else's house. If someone has a school friend round or their cousin staying, or they live just round the corner, or they are new on your street, they still get to join in - they don't need to be known by you, and to be invited as they would if they come into your house or back garden.
Plus of course, more dc will fit out the front than might fit in many gardens.

Trikes don't work on grass.

We're on a dead end so all kids play out in the front and there is always an adult or two supervising. Now with the warm weather the adults are pitting out deckchairs, grabbing and catching up on neighbourhood news gossip. We all share our snacks and nobody is forced to host by having a load of kids in their back gardens & having their houses trashed by marauding kids. It's much more equal this way and we avoid cf territory which could happen if the kids always went to the largest garden with outdoor toys mine