AIBU for being anxious about going back to work?

[Nikkibham]

I originally put this in the back to work post and had no interest. Lol

Thank you for reading my post. This is the first time I have posted so please be kind lol.

I am currently on maternity leave, I had a beautiful baby girl and I’m due back to work soon. Unfortunately I cannot put it off any longer, we need the money.

I am a qualified social worker and most days I can handle my job and I enjoy it. I have been doing it for some time.

Recently I have been looking at my little baby and cry when I remember some of the cases I managed. I can recall babies I have seen who have been severely physically, mentally and sexually abused and although I felt I had coped with it at the time it’s caused some trauma. I am having nightmares and anxiety about returning to work and again having contact with difficult cases.

I guess the purpose of this post was just to acknowledge my anxieties. I will have to return to my work for at least 13 weeks and I will consider how I will take care of myself and find support.

Did anyone else experience anxieties about returning to a difficult job and how did you cope?

Hi lovely

I can't imagine how your job will make you feel when you return HOWEVER I remember when I had to go back to work and I spent the week before returning I tears. I am in a completely different industry to you with none of the pressures you face.

I felt that because I had been gone a year, everything would have changed, I wouldn't be as good and quite frankly I wanted to stay at home with my baby. I screamed at my husband because I didn't want to return and was angry he didn't make enough money for me to stay at home.

First day back and I slotted straight in and it was fine.

It's natural for you to feel anxious. Go through the motions as it will probably be fine. If not, cross that bridge when you come to it.

Good luck x

Hello

Ohofcourse, your post is so relatable. I worry that I won’t have a clue what I’m doing and would love to stay at home with my baby. Thank you for the reassurance xx

Take each day as it comes. You might find returning to work is ok - as ohofcourse says, even in a less stressful environment it can be really stressful going back to work after maternity leave.

However your child means the cases you dealt with seem more personal - is there some kind of support network in work? Counselling? See your GP if you need to to discuss your worries, don't suffer in silence.

Thank you stripy for your reply. I have wonderful colleagues who I am able to confide in, they are very understandable and I will speak to my GP if I am still nervous when the time comes for me to return to work.

First day back I waled into the office, everyone said heel and I burst into tears.

After that I was preoccupied with putting my desk back the way I liked it and enjoying the wonder of drinking tea while it was hot and being able to go to the toilet on my own.

It was tough though, and while my job can occasionally be upsetting, it's generally issues adults are having rather than child related.

Its just the initial going back u will get a routine going and u will be fine try not thinking of the bad cases before u go back but remember your these kids saving grace u pull kids from all sorts ure there to help and they are relying on you. Xd

I well remember the emotion of returning to work, and that was only to a cushy office job! I found it hard and took the approach of just keeping getting up and turning up!

Social work is a really hard job. Sounds like having your DD has brought difficult issues to the fore. If this is affecting you day to day it’d be good to seek help with that.

Are there supervision and additional support arrangements for employees affected by what you have seen and heard at work?

There are lots of social work vacancies, if your current role isn’t for you anymore perhaps a move to another area might be an option.

Get stuff at home - eg sharing parenting and domestics, dull but important stuff like shopping and cleaning, leisure and rest time - as sorted as possible, and childcare. With DC1 I had childcare that wasn’t good enough and in retrospect wish had changed it much sooner.

Teacher here, so not the awful situations you’re facing daily, but still a tough, full on job.
I had to return after my first ML when my dc was 12 weeks old! (Over 20 years ago so maternity legislation was very different to now.) I spent at least the week beforehand feeling very anxious, I didn’t know how I’d even get out of the front door in time to get my baby off to a childminder, and tbh if a fairy godmother had waved a wand and given us more money I wouldn’t have gone back to work then, because staying at home would have been the easier option.

I can tell you that within a few days back at work, I felt like I’d never been away, and we were all adjusting to the new routine. In fact by the time we had dc 2 and 3 (by which time dh had a promotion and we could have afforded for me to stop work) I chose to continue working. Even though by now the childcare cost was about the same as my salary!

To put it simply- don’t judge things by how you feel in the last weeks of ML, because I suspect most mums have a wobble then. I am actually so relieved in hindsight that I had no option financially but to return to work first time round, because it proved to me that it was actually the best option all round for us

I’m overwhelmed by the replies.

Miri and Nb thank your for support.

Loopy, thosr are useful suggestions. I am going to seek additional support from my employer. And will rope DP in to support me more at home.

Momo, being a teacher is also a very difficult job. I am sure that after a few weeks it will be like I never left! X