To be annoyed about sister's wedding?

[foreverclockwatching]

For context: I got married 3 years ago, saved up for a couple of years to be able to afford it, tried to keep it simple and made all decorations, wedding favours etc. Was a lovely day and all had a good time. Overall cost was approx 5k including what I estimate my parents spent on drink (they offered to contribute this).
My aibu: Dsis is getting married in January to someone from another culture. In his culture the groom's family pay for an event and the brides family do. Basically my parents are funding her entire wedding in this country so that she isn't embarrassed in front of her in laws who are funding an event in their country of origin. She is not very focussed on cost (although my parents aren't letting her take the piss either) and isn't going to put the effort in to make stuff herself to keep costs down despite being very arty and creative. In addition to this we have inherited money in the last year from death of a relative so she could easily afford to pay for it herself! Am I just being a jealous cow? Think I also feel that she thinks my nice simple wedding not good enough which is making me a bit sad!

Your post says the groom's family pays?

Off the point but I feel sorry for your parents who probably aren’t thrilled about being caught up in this other culture’s oneupmanship.

YANBU but don’t let it spoil your memory of a lovely wedding day.

YANBU.

Parents should treat all their kids equally.

Perhaps your parents feel they have to stump up a similar amount to the groom's parents? So a certain amount of pride is involved as well as respecting the groom's culture which dictates that they have an obligation to contribute?

Your parents might feel they have to try and match what the in laws are doing, particularly as you sister is insisting it'll be an "embarrassment" if they don't.
I wonder also if your parents inherited money too? They have more disposable savings now to throw at her wedding.

If it's any consolation your intimate simple wedding sounds far more enjoyable than 2 big fancy weddings in 2 different countries. I'd hate the pressure of that

It seems unfair but try not to get eaten up by resentment.

I think what your OP illustrates is the reason why parents should always try to be scrupulously fair with their offspring. My parents have always gone out of their way to do this with my brother and I and I try to do the same with my two. I don't think you are being a jealous cow, I think it is the natural sibling twinge of “it’s not fair” which siblings feel from the moment they are old enough to realise they are not the only bird in the nest. As a fully fledged bird who has now left the nest I would take a deep breath and remember that however much you spent on your wedding it was a lovely day - more money doesn’t a better wedding make - presuming you have a happy marriage I would count your blessings. Whatever her wedding is like it doesn’t detract from yours in any way.

I think that you should speak to your parents and say that you feel the situation is very unfair. Your parents should treat all their DC equally unless there are circumstances such as ill health that make an unequal division reasonable.

There is another issue here that no one is picking up on. Why should your sister defer to her husband’s culture? They should produce a blended wedding which fuses both cultures. Why is his more important ? This is setting a bad precedent in my book as he (and his parents) will always expect his culture to be the dominant one.

I think YANBU to be annoyed that your parents are not sharing their wealth equally amongst their children. My DH family did it right: they had saved up and gave each child £8000 when they got engaged. 1 child has never been in a relationship and may not get married so they just gave him the £8000 once the other children were married, which he used for a house deposit. Everyone gets the same.

I think YABU to think your sister's wedding is any reflection on yours.