To ask for your experience and tips of what to ask/look out for on nursery visit?

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Sorry, I know this is a bit of an abuse of AIBU for traffic. DH and I are doing our first visit to a nursery tomorrow (for an as yet unborn child who will be going to nursery at 9 months - it seems ridiculous to me to do this while still pregnant, but apparently this is standard in my area; some of them told me it was already too late for me to look!). This is our favourite one on paper (we've got another couple of nurseries lined up for visits later this week) but also our first one, so I'm a bit unsure of how to tell whether it's what we're looking for - we feel a bit clueless! Any top tips on good signs or red flags we should look out for, or useful questions for us to ask?

I had to look round while pregnant and the questions I had once I had a child were totally different to the nicely prepared list I had got off the internet. The most pragmatic thing would be to see how much the registration fee is and if it is low, register with your favourite so you have a place and then look around again to make sure you still think it’s the best fit. My fee to register was only £30 so was quite happy to have my place sorted and know it wouldn’t have been an issue if I changed my mind.

Things I was interested in was settling in, policies re food (ie if you do baby led weaning will they support), staff turnover, how tight ratios are, policies re sickness, access to outside space.

You get a feel when you’re there about how caring staff seem to be which really is the most important thing and not whether they offer French or not (things I seemed to be interested in while pregnant but not when I had a child).

Ask for their sickness policy. DS's nursery is brilliant and doesn't exclude for much at all other than sickness/diorrhea, will happily give calpol etc. Some of my friends' kids at other nurseries seem to get sent home at the drop of a hat.

Ask how many rooms they have and how often children will be moved. DS's nursery is quite large and so has a lot of rooms - 5 compared to 3 (baby/toddler/preschool) at many nurseries. This is good for making sure activities are very focused to his age group but also means more regular room moves which DS finds very unsettling.

As user says, you'll just get a good gut feeling about one of them. We looked at 3 and the one I thought looked best both on paper and in appearance - i.e. It was the newest and brightest and had the nicest garden etc - I just didn't have as good a feeling about when we looked round. The one DS goes to the staff are so caring.

I would think about what will matter to you as a parent and ask questions around those things, eg for me it mattered that I knew if ds was upset and would have wanted to be called if he didn't settle.
I would like him to be outdoors a lot, so was the baby/ toddler room in easy reach or ideally free flow of the garden, (quite a few baby rooms seem to be upstairs?)
I think I had to 'relax' on things like would he be able to nap when he usually did, because it was much better he joined in the nursery routine and ate at lunch time and napped with everyone else after lunch, and then he benefitted from morning walks out and it simply wouldn't have been possible for them to meet individual 'wants'.

Have you thought about a child minder? I had a great one for my DS - he started with her at 9 months. I loved the much more individual attention he got and preferred that he was in a 'home' environment.

Good list of questions from user.. For me it was mainly about staff turnover, ratios and how caring and friendly the staff were. Are the staff allowed / expected to be creative in organising activities for the children? Ie do they get satisfaction from the job or does it feel like a factory production line approach. Ask them what they do if staff phone in sick and their ratios are too low. You should expect that they will use bank staff but I’ve heard horror stories of places just sending children home so they can keep within ratio - a blimmin’ nightmare if you’re meant to be going to work. If you think you might need flexibility on hours ask whether they allow early drop off / late pick. Often this is available at an extra cost but not advertised on the website.

Interaction between staff/ children

Ratios

Thanks so much for all of these - it's really helpful. We have thought about a childminder, but are a bit wary as we have no way of getting personal recommendations (we don't know anyone with children where we live) so it feels like a bit more of an unknown.

Staff turnover is important both because it reflects on the staff, management and nursery as a whole, and also because once your child is settled with a key worker, you really don't want them to quit.

Free-flow is good, but watch out for true free-flow vs 'we push back this barrier in the afternoon and that's about it'.

How child-led are they?

Personally I like mixed age group key families, but these are rare.

Safety - I turned up at one nursery for a visit and could have let unsupervised children out into the road. Horrifying.

Look around middle of the day, what are the children doing? Do they all look engaged in what they're doing either being led, facilitated or just exploring - or are they sitting on their own, unengaged and staring into space. Are there staff cuddling children?

Naps - are there set nap times (bad) or child-led (good)? Is there a nice nap room with a range of sleeping beds - cots, prams, nests etc, or is it plastic covered mattresses the hall floor?

How much time do they spend outside? The more the better.

I disagree with pp about having to relax about things related to your child's routine. One of my favourite things about ds's nursery is that they will follow your child's routine as much as you want them to in the baby room. I think a 9 month old has to be able to have a bottle, a snack, a nap when they need to and that was one of the key things I was looking for in a nursery.

I agree that you will get a good gut feeling about "the one" or even more than one. I've been round quite a few nurseries/pre schools due to house moves etc and all the ones I liked were spacious, had friendly staff who were interested in the children, had lots of outside space, and I got a good vibe from the person showing me round.

The ones I didn't like were generally due to reasons like unenthusiastic staff, no outside space, cramped with not much room for children to run around.

As well as questions other pps have mentioned, I would also ask how they organise the 15/30 hour government funding that you will be eligible for when your child turns 3. Some childcare providers aren't able to offer the full 30 hours (assuming you are eligible for it) and/or are inflexible with how you can use the funded hours.

Trust your gut.

Think ahead past the baby stage - is there enough outside space for toddler to let off steam?

OP we viewed so many nurseries and ended up going for the least flexible, most expensive and least like home one because every child just seemed so happy to be there. Ours is Ofsted outstanding but seemed the worst on paper due to staff turnover,etc. Agree with others who say go with your gut. Seeing other children cuddling their key worker and trying to play with my DC on our visit sealed the deal for me.

Thank you again, all! Can I just ask how many nurseries people think we should visit? The one we're seeing tomorrow would be massively more convenient in terms of location than any other, and the other two we're seeing are much less so but still plausible; we really struggled to find anywhere that seems at all doable logistically beyond that (as I said, we enquired at a few that said I should have been looking earlier if I wanted a place!). But is three a good enough sample? Neither of us have ever set foot in a nursery before, so we're worried that we'll have no way to gauge quality!

I think I'm also finding it hard because I obviously want what's best for our baby - but I feel like I don't know what he wants, I haven't met him yet!

Look at the children... Are they happy? I'd also turn up uninvited to see if the nursery is the same as when they know to expect you. I think 3 is enough you can look for more if none appeal.

After spending years working in one lovely nursery I would always ask to see the accident book as it will give a good insight into how visulant the setting is and how much will be reported back to you. Our accident book was full of things like steped on toy car or bumped knees outside with cuddles as treatment. Rather than just head bumps and skinned hands and knees etc.

Ask about staff turn over but take it in context of how long the more senior members of staff have been there. We had a very high staff turn over of new starters because they couldn't cope with the high standards expected of them and would move on to 'easier' settings where things like adult related chatting and more sitting back watching was alllowed. Most of the senior staff had come into the nursery training or just out of training and never left or left and came straight back!

Since having my own children one of whom has his fair share of medical dramas. I'd ask how important information like medical conditions are relaid to staff, particularly bank staff. How would everyone know in our case that ds is epileptic if they popped into a room so someone else could go to the toilet.

What happens in the worst case your child had to be taken to hospital. Who would go with them until you could get there? In our nursery the key worker would go with them as the most familar and hopefully comforting adult. We had it happen once in eight years where it made a big difference to the family involved. Other places locally would be sending fairly unfamiliar managers or deputy managers who have very little hands on contact with the children day to day.

I think 3 is plenty. The other thing I’d look out for is whether the staff know all of the children and parents. The manager at mine knows all parents and even staff in other rooms seen to know who my child is. I have absolute confidence that they would not ever release my child to someone else unless pre-arranged. They know my child and her quirks really well and she loves the staff like family.

Conversely a friend removed her child from a nursery where staff in her baby’s room didn’t have a clue which child was which (crucial for allergies).

I booked our nursery when I was 18 weeks pregnant! Madness. It's only a tiny nursery though so was needed. Staff turnover is a massive thing to little kids. Ask about that. I looked round two nurseries. One was very ofsted ready (mentioned a few ofsted things when we looked around despite me explaining I'm a teacher and don't really care about ofsted) and had I-pads etc. It was too corporate for me. I just want my child to play and be loved. Outdoor space is important too.

Thank you! Just back from nursery visit 1 - we both agreed that we got a good feeling, they had a lot of outdoor space, and all the staff seemed really nice and friendly. But as I said, we don't have anything to compare it to yet, so we'll see how the one we're seeing tomorrow compares and whether that changes our views.

I think your gut will tell you.

We looked at several nurseries while pregnant. The one that was best on paper had shiny new facilities, a fabulous outdoor play area and was highly recommended.

We were shown round by the admin lady into a room where a load of bored looking teens were completely ignoring one screaming baby and nonchalantly rocking (without engaging with) another screaming baby. The toddlers had lined up to go into another room and looked absolutely petrified at the sight of us.

The next one we saw I had all but dismissed before we went because it only had a concrete yard outside, but it was the closest to my work. We walked in and all the older kids crowded round us, asking who we were and what we were doing. It was bright and busy. Nobody was screaming and it smelled "homely" rather than either antiseptic or pooey . Average age of the staff was probably 40 years old and every one of them had a child on their lap. That was the one we picked (and as a bonus it was half the price of the posh one!!), and where DD was really happy.

Look at the children. Do they seem happy? Are the staff reacting to them the way you'd like them to react to your child? That will give you your answer.

I just saw one. It was convenient, then the visit went well so I went with it.

So 3 is definitely ample!

A previous poster said to see the accident book, but I think that would be against data protection.

Looking back I think security is important. The nursery had a fingerprint id system and signin process for visitors. I was appalled once we started at how many parents will hold a door open for complete strangers (but at least nursery had taken steps to attempt security).

Also I would take staff turnover with a pinch of salt. At mine there's a constant cycle of maternity leave amongst staff, plus it's a low paid role so bound to be turnover. What I like at mine is that all staff seem to know all kids, so even if not directly looking after them, they're familiar.