I just need to have a small rant.
Ex husband has never been particularly interested in his kids and he has always put his new wife first.
The kids are acutely aware of this and thankfully they are now adults and deal with their own relationships with him.
They openly admit to me that the only time they really bother with him is when they have fallen out with me (which TBF isn’t often).
DD and I fell out about her moving in with her GF whilst doing her A’levels and that week her and her relatively new girlfriend were invited to ex’s for dinner (I suspect instigated by his wife).
This upset DS1 GF as she has been with him two years and never been invited over, has met them briefly once in town and once met them for a coffee.
After much pestering by DS1 (who was in a pretty shit position really, reassuring her they like her and strong arming his dad into an invite).
The Royal invite has arrived and tonight is the night. DS1 has a driving lesson with his dad first then they are picking up his GF from work. She works at the hospital as a HCA. They are picking her up when she finishes giving her no chance to change or have a shower which she is mortified about.
She was really worried about going round after a long shift, stinking and looking like (in her head) shit.
I said to DS1 to ask his dad if he can take him back to his and I will pick up GF so she can shower and change here and then I will drop her off.
Ex has said no as they want to eat at 8 and have to be up at 8am tomorrow morning and don’t want a late night (WTAF).
Poor DS1 in a right state saying he keeps trying to reassure her his dad isn’t a twat when she can clearly see he is.
I have just told him to stop placing himself in the middle and defending him, she’ll see what she sees.
AIBU and should I be promoting his defence of his father?
