Sharing the mental load/ getting DH to do more

[sparklepig]

How much does your DH do ?

DH and I both work full time, Both busy jobs, mine a bit more demanding but DH needs more sleep/ gets stressed more easily. 3 pre school DCs. I do about 90% of the household tax - organising anything from holidays to weekends, to birthdays to childcare to clothes to wear, bills, any work needed in house etc. DH does most of the evening cooking from meal boxes, the driving if we go anywhere and some DIY. He probably does a bit more childcare as my job is very busy at the moment so I tend to work late a couple of nights a week (I’m the main earner if it matters).

I am just fed up of feeling like I have a million things on my mind - from even the smallest things like have the kids brushed their teeth - which he never does. So how do I change this ? If I mention it (TBF in the heat of the moment) I’m nagging or getting at him. If I ask him to do things, it doesn’t get done (ie medical appointments for kids booked but never put in the diary calls to plumber not made etc). Do I just put up with this until he learns to do a better job ?

He is also stupidly inefficient in his time, nothing done in evenings after he sits down, no calls/ emails made in commutes. He’s driving me loopy.

I’m surprised you haven’t had any replies. To answer your question, my DH does a lot practically with the kids and does all the real cooking. He is often at work though or doing sport and I do almost all the mental load. We achieve this by me being part time. I am lucky to be able to do this although our bank balance has taken a significant hit.

I think both parents working full time with 3 preschool DCs would be incredibly difficult (although of course it may be necessary for various reasons) and don’t know how we would share the mental load in that case.