To be worried about DP gaining over 8 stone

[pillowduster]

When we first met 4 years ago, he was at a very healthy weight, exercised and had a physically demanding job. Fast forward 4 years and he's in an office job and seem to have lost all interest in keeping fit.

The thing is, it doesn't seem to bother him. We're still just as happy, our s*x life is great, and he loves his job. He does make comments re. how we should probably eat a bit healthier and he'd like to lose a bit of weight but never really follows through even if I cook nice, healthy meals for us. He just seems very content. I haven't put on any weight and haven't made any changes in my lifestyle. He just eats a lot of extra junk on top of our meals together. I don't want to tell him what he can't and cannot eat; don't want to sound like his mum.

I don't know how to bring it up. I don't love him any less, but I am seriously worried about his health. We are trying to conceive and I am worried that all this extra weight will make it harder..

8 stone? That's a whole another me nearly. That's a huge amount of weight.

It's nice it hasn't changed your feelings, but can cause fertility issues. Could you use that as an opening point?

Over what kind of time period has he put it on op? The full 4 years? 8 stone is a huge amount of weight to gain in a relatively short amount of time.

8 stone is a huge amount to gain. It not surprising you are concerned.

It's good you care. I must admit he will already know he's piles it on so I don't think you need to do the 'not sure if ypu've noticed but...' approach. You may need to be caring but direct.

I'd be partly concerned of underlying issues and partly concerned that knowing, being content abd happy to do that would be such a shift in ideals abd philosophy that it might wear me down

My dh has gained about 5 stone- but over 20 years. 8 stone is a whole extra person. It is a lot and I too worry about my dh health. Are there ways in which you can do things together which will encourage him without it being you ‘putting him on a diet’? I know that for me to do it I need to effectively go on a diet myself. I love my hubby the way he is, but I do worry about his heart etc and I imagine you’re the same. Plus maybe he isn’t as happy as he seems?

Eight stone is a lot of weight gain in four years. About two stone a year. I’d be concerned about underlying issues. Could you try coming at it from the health concern angle? Maybe do some exercise together so you’re working with him?

That is a lot. You can order blood sugar testing kits off Amazon to see if he is becoming insulin resistant. He may be if he is eating lots of carbs and sugar.

That is s massive amount of weight. Unless he was quite underweight previously, he must be obese now, which means he's at risk of a whole range of health issues. It's great that your feelings for him and your relationship hasn't changed. But, you need to be bluntly honest with him about the risks to his health, and your chances of having a child.