I'm prepared to be flamed as I'm really quite old now. And rambling as this has been going on for years.
DF left DM in my 20's got a woman pregnant and I have halfsib half my age (now).
At that point in my life I was working abroad but had to come home because of fall out etc. It affected my career and everything.
halfsib and I obviously did not grow up together and I was an only child. With step mum I am now one of 5 (including 3 step sibs). All step siblings have been kept part from me etc. and halfsib being treated l like only child and has almost no relationship with the others (much older, like me).
This is my issue.
I think I'm a freaking mug.
When dc was about 4 my df, who came from a tiny family, had made contact with wider family - meant much to him - and a family reunion/lets get to know each other was organised. It was a big deal and I took time off for this. Two days before the event df called me to ask me not to attend as halfsib (14) was very unhappy at my attendance and was threatening to kick off. He mentioned halfsib held a grudge - what grudge - we did not not meet much as they were abroad for much of the time. I backed off fast and missed out on this family event. They are now fully integrated with wider family.
Halfsib keeps telling me they are the sole inheritor (I don't care - wasn't expecting anything but I think other half siblings might really care).
Half sib got married recently - I play the part ie I took them shopping for present and a lunch (cost me a freaking fortune and I'm lone parent) - took them back to df and step mum (where they lived) and they suddenly announce that they're sooo happy they are a only child (Okaaaay) and would hate to have siblings and I was promptly unfriended on facebook. Weird.
If ever invited to visit df and step mum - halfsib won't come out of their room (even now after marriage and their spouse there). My dc feels uncomfortable. Stepmum seems to get it but df is in pure ignorance at his scented grown up child's behaviour. I got used to it and just shrugged it off.
The wedding - halfsib gets married - would have been great if I was introduced (after 25 years) to step sibs - I was shy and alone with DC - they were staring. This should have been organised by df/stepmum. Not done. Same old. We did not feel like family and dc was very uncomfortable.
I do love my df but I have almost zero respect for him now. Things have been going on in this pattern for too long.
My halfsib goes on about ageing parents and their inheritance. . They've ensured that step mum's adult kids out the way, I've been marginalised from my df - I'm really of the mind if they get ill then halfsib needs to give up work and get their arse back to care for them.
This really does not feel like family at all.
My df is adamant that he wants to see my dc - yes fine, but I do not want to feel obliged (unless dc really wants to) as I feel he's a feckless coward.
I thought I had a good relationship with step mum but I was seriously ill earlier in the year and my own dm wanted to call my df and she blocked it.
I want to do the right thing. DC has a right to see his GF. I don't want to cut off contact as a daughter but I don't want to be a mug. This is not a family in any sense of the word. I don't know where to draw the line.
And I'm just letting off 27 years worth of steam! Well done if you kept up with my pitiful ramblings!