To hate the concept that women are all jealous of each other?

[crunchymint]

So many people seem to think if a woman does not like another woman or is critical of her, that she is really jealous. Women are way less jealous of other women than is commonly assumed. Women are allowed to be annoyed at what another woman says or does. This does not mean she is jealous.

It’s weird isn’t it? In real life women are the people I confide in, who make me cry with laughter and help me problem solve.

Yes I agree whydid. But I am supposed to be consumed by jealousy by any woman who is younger and prettier than me. As I am fat and not particularly attractive, I am supposed to walk around in a haze of jealousy.

It seems to be used when the alternative is to look at yourself and your role - often shouted down on here as "victim blaming".

: People don't like me
: Yeah that's cuz they're all jealous of you, it's them not you, you're lovely hun OP

YANBU. No one ever says this about men.

I find much more on here tbh, in real life it’s more accepted that you might not get on or agree with another women for reasons other than jealousy.

Yup my ex thinks I'm really jealous of his new girlfriend because she is slim and that's why I don't let our kids over there truth is children's services said she is not safe around her kids so they advised he sees his kids without her and I stick to there advice but seriously I'm sooooo jealous 🙄

It seems to be used when the alternative is to look at yourself and your role - often shouted down on here as "victim blaming".

Eh? Victim blaming has nothing to do with this. You've done some serious mental gymnastics to shoehorn in your dislike for people calling out victim blaming into a thread which has nothing to do with it. Don’t take the piss out of something like victim blaming, which really isn’t funny and is fucking rife, even on here. Once some clever clogs starts taking the piss out of something like this, it snowballs and people feel unable to use the term at all.

But re the op; yes this bothers me too. I can think another woman is a bit of a dick without being jealous of her. I usually go out of my way to be supportive of other women, so it’s especially tiresome when someone, (usually a man), assumes I must be jealous of someone because they are younger and prettier than I am, as if I’m competing for their lovely male attention . I really am not. If anything, I feel sorry for women who have to deal with lots of male attention, because a lot of the male attention I got, as a younger, prettier woman, was unwanted and the men were often wankers.

Agree that the jealousy thing is also said when you might have a role to play in a situation.
I have read women who say they don't like other women, complain that other women are not friendly to them. And they are told that is because other women are jealous of them. When the reality is that other women probably suss that they do not like women, and so avoid them.

Its because women are less valued by society.

The idea is basically we have to compete for fewer resources.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks i actually agree to an extent. Am sick of people being legitimately called out - this is irl - & the comeback being 'they're just jealous of your looks/money/committment'
Another i have seen recently is 'they fancy you & know they don't stand a chance' 😂

Way i see it, everyone has their hang ups & insecurities. Nothing to be jealous about there unless someone is rolling in it, then the green eyed monster does rear sometimes

It is the idea that we are constantly competing for male attention and male approval. Which is bollocks.

But i mean look th "why are th duchesses so thin" thread.

Doubt there are mens forums where they sit around debating whether peter crouch has an eating disorder

I have read women who say they don't like other women, complain that other women are not friendly to them. And they are told that is because other women are jealous of them. When the reality is that other women probably suss that they do not like women, and so avoid them.

Yep.

It is the idea that we are constantly competing for male attention and male approval. Which is bollocks.

Exactly this^^. That’s why some men seem to hate women getting along and supporting each other. I suspect some of the bunfight threads on here are started by male trolls for that reason. It massively pisses some men off if we support each other and aren’t fawning over them instead.

I see it a lot.

Person A is a jerk and gets called out on it = don't worry hun, they're just jealous of how pretty you are/how popular you are

Person B is being very flashy and bragging about wealth and people find it distasteful = aww they're just jealous of you. This is MN where one chicken does 20 teas and nobody ever buys themselves a chocolate bar as a treat

Person C is a SAHW. People say it's not something they could do for a range of reasons = well you can spot the jealousy on this thread. Don't worry. They're just jealous because they have to be defined by their job

Person D meets another women and they don't seem to click because they have very different outlooks on things = OMG OP. You are so awful. Why are you such a bitch? You're clearly jealous of her. Maybe spend some time working on your own life

Person E has an able child, school have said they need to work on X Y Z before progressing = ignore the teacher OP. She doesn't know your child and is obviously jealous of how bright your child is and feels threatened.

Real world:

• people are jerks and get called out for being jerks
• people have different experiences and opinions on things without being jealous
• people make and sustain friendships with people they have lots in common with rather than people they don't

Vogue, couldn’t agree more. Or forums where men are discussing wether Harry’s marriage will last.

I think it sometimes comes because women tend to carry more guilt & sometimes make decisions based on how it affects others. Therefore they may not always be 100% secure in terms of their own decisions & choices. It’s easier to feel secure in those decisions if you judge others for making the opposite choice.