To think that looking at porn every day...

[Mytwistedimagination]

including during the brief time I'm in the shower after putting DC to bed, would be classed as an addiction?
In your experience, can anyone go cold turkey on that level of porn? I recently found this out about dh (along with a long ago affair he had), and feel like I've been deceived for such a long time, I must have 'mug' written on my forehead. In all that time he never showed an interest in looking at porn together, past a rather lame DVD when I suggested it, yet he had been looking at all sorts of stuff by himself.
I'm not interested in ppl defending his right to look, but I am asking whether you think this level indicates an addiction, and if so, what can be done about it?
Tia.

Yeh I think it sounds like an addiction.

Yes, it surely is an addiction.

Yes that's an addiction. But as for "what can be done about it?" I would say only he can decide that. Or you can decide whether you want to live with it. My ex was also addicted and it's an utter relief to be divorced and not have to live with it any more.

I think the trouble with that particular addiction is that it invariably goes with a misogynistic personality and a very skewed view of relationships and sex. I know some women can live with it but I wasn't one of them.

Are you servicing him frequently? If so tell him to knock it off a bit.

Am I servicing him frequently? Haha, what a misogynistic question! Yes, I was, when he was not working away (his choice), not that it should make a difference. If anything, his sexual thoughts were more frequently directed elsewhere... Which is now obvious.
I found out a while ago, and he's apparently knocked it on the head. Hence why I asked about going cold turkey, because I can't see he's done anything differently, even reading up on it or joining a support group. Obviously his willpower wasn't enough when he told me he wouldn't look at porn when we had that conversation many years ago. Why would it be this time? The only difference is the level of my upset at finding out the true story.

Are you servicing him frequently?

Q

oh Barbara.

Define "service" - sounds like a lot of work!

I'm not sure that does count as addiction actually. A habit, certainly. I think real addiction would generally involve the need to do it several times a day,and in inappropriate places like at work. Once daily, whether it be sex, porn, masturbation, whatever, is quite normal for highly sexed individuals.
Does it affect his character,mood, or is he a selfish or unpleasant lover? Those things are more important than a habit of looking at porn once a day.

I also don't think it's fair so have asked him to stop years ago and are now 'catching him out'. Using legal porn is a personal, private thing, that I don't think your partner should have any say in, unless it's causing issues elsewhere.

Using legal porn is a personal, private thing, that I don't think your partner should have any say in, unless it's causing issues elsewhere this 100000000%

it is his life. As long as it is not affecting your sex life.

Not an addiction I'd say. More like a habit or a 10 min opportunity grab to relax/whatever.

I'd be far more concerned about his long affair.

Agree with pp. Affair definitely should be your concern here, OP.

I suspect most men look at porn almost daily. Maybe even some of the ones who definitely NEVER EVER look at porn that you only hear about on MN.

Zombie thread.

Servicing him?! If a partner asked me to service him, I'd be out the door. What a phrase!

Yes OP I think he sounds addicted. If he were drinking or taking drugs that often you'd class him as addicted so I'm basing it on that really.

Oops didn't notice it's a zombie thread

When does a zombie thread become a zombie thread? This was only a few months ago and didn't receive a lot of feedback. Maybe OP will come back to it?

Well it hadn't been posted on in four months till yesterday, so I doubt op's coming back🤷🏻‍♀️