To not want to see people because I have nothing to wear?

[GoodAfternoonSeattle]

I hate this weather. Hate it.

I’m 5’3 and have very short legs. I carry most of my excess weight on my thighs and stomach. I had a c section last summer and it’s left me with this disgusting huge overhang.

I am a size 12 all over but if I want to wear a dress that hides my stomach (which is a total mess) I need a 14 if I’m lucky. Which drowns me everywhere else.

I know I need to lose the weight. I’m struggling this time round. With DD1 I walked and walked till I looked ok. This time I just don’t feel like I have the time or the energy.

I’m so depressed and I just want to hide away.

I can’t wear shorts and tshirts like everyone else because my stomach is so big

I hear you. I hate the warm weather at the best of times but I am uncomfortable in all my clothes and have not shifted much since having dd2.

I know it sounds stupid but I stated going out for walks to play Pokemon. I would walk until I hatched at least one egg (2k, 5k or 10k). Walking made me feel better at least so now I am working on eating better for weight loss and I do 30 minuted of Jillian Michaels shred every day.

It might do night but I feel more in control by doing it.

Small steps

Also clothes wise, what about wrap dresses? Do they provide you with the coverage you need?

Gap maternity tank tops.. amazing!!

Maxi dresses? Flowing tops and some Capri trousers?

Oh sweetheart. don't know what to say you sound so sad, but surely, any small thing you can do, is better than not doing it. You sound so down, can you talk to a gp about first, depression, and second, if there is a weight loss program local to you? Hopefully more people will be along soon with better ideas for you. Here's a ((hug)) to keep you going.

I am short 4 ft 8 so no adult clothes fit me properly! I get round it by buying a few expensive clothes that will last and have them tailored to fit me.

I feel like you are me!! I'm 5'2 though. It's very depressing. I have no idea what to suggest but you have my sympathy!! Awaiting winter so I can crack my jumpers out!!!

I feel the same. Pretty much the same as you although my section was 4 years ago the second one this year actually made me a bit smaller! The only time I felt attractive was when pregnant.

Shirt dresses and skater dresses that come just above the knee Work really well for me in summer. Also a pair of Spanx always comes in handy.

Not much more advice from that except for what I’ve finally learnt is to love your body, confidence is by far the most beautiful thing you can wear so chin up love. And I told my size 14 self that I was actually a size smaller than the U.K. average

But your friends aren't judging you on what you look like!

Would you stop seeing a friend because they'd (understandably) but on weight, having had a baby ??

YANBU at all, be kind to yourself, it’s absolutely normal to want to hide away when you feel like shit. I’m sure it happens to most of us. Avoiding social situations is really common when we’re feeling depressed. It’s one of the things they ask you on those mental health questionairre things.

Have a think though - when you see your friends, do you care what they look like or what they’re wearing, or do you just want to spend time with them because you like them as the people they are inside? So, following that through, the pressure to look a certain way/fit into a certain size is really internalised, and then you are feeling shit because you’re not up to your own unreasonable standards. Give yourself a break.

You’re bigger at the moment, that’s ok, it happens. You’ve been growing people in your body FFS! I’d suggest - if it’s affordable - getting yourself a capsule wardrobe for the size and shape you are right now. If that’s a size or two up then whatevs no one is going to be checking your labels. If you’re not used to dressing a different shape from what you used to, then getting specific advice on the S&B board or even a personal shopper might be an idea (they’re often no obligation to buy). But accepting yourself and feeling better inside, is so much more important than what the scales say or what size dress you’re wearing.

And in the meantime if you’re not up for being social until you feel more comfortable, then retreat into self-care a little until you are.

I should add I went up from a 12 to a 16 through illness, with lovely fat rolls around the middle, the best thing I did self-esteem wise was get myself a ‘fat wardrobe’ - turns out you can wear tshirt/shorts when they’re the right size/shape. Loose or high waisted shorts/jeans, yoga/harem pants, longer tops/vests, long jersey dresses or loose shirt dresses. I even found a jumpsuit/playsuit thing that covered a multitude of sins. Killer shoes and jewellery. Felt so much better in myself. And having clothes I felt less shit in was a stepping stone to recovery overall, it removed one more barrier on the way back to being me.

Of course not but none of my friends have babies. They are all lawyers and dressed to the nines on designer gear, groomed and highlighted and waxed and tanned.

I feel like an actual fat troll in comparison.

Skater dresses are how I’ve been surviving work. But I don’t have the confidence to go bare legged right now (I wear tights at work). Chub rub 😞

Thing is I keep saying to myself, it’s just baby weight I’ll get it off but DD2 is nearly one now. And now I’m just fat.

I have a pair of high waisted denim shorts. £10 from Primark. They are a stretchy denim, so don’t feel tight. They come up to just under my bra, and suck everything in beautifully. I can wear fitted t-shirts with them and they don’t show off any lumps or bumps :)

You need anti chafe shorts to wear under dresses. Sloggi sell long line pants www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/sloggi-basic-long-leg-poudre-briefs/KH785/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=7205&ifpla:&ci_sku=KH78507&ci_src=18615224&ifdyn:&promo=6230&cm_mmc=Googlebase--Simplybe--Product%20Feeds-_-na&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIz-6H1vem2wIV55XtCh0ghQ1MEAQYBCABEgJ3vvD_BwE&dclid=CL2-9oX4ptsCFQ1i0woduMcElA#colour:Poudre,size:.

You could get some dresses taken in over the top?

Could have written your post... exactly the same situation here. Can't motivate myself to even start and can't bear to look at my reflection. Just manage to tell myself my kids have no idea and love me whatever - to them I'm just Mum.

This is me except I’m an 18-20 😭

I spray anti perspirant on my thighs to create a layer of slip. Stops chaffing brilliantly

Seriously, repost this in Style and Beauty. I'm not stylish and absolutely not beautiful, but I've started 4 or 5 threads there and the response has always been amazing and helpful.

Most of them are too stylish and beautiful to sully themselves on AIBU (my spiritual home rests with the vipers too).

Thehop #metoo

What about a wrap dress and good bra, some thinner heeled wedge sandles and under shorts, or those wide leg linen trousers and a nice blouse.

But most of all without sounding sappy, who cares, you are a mum, you had a c section so what if your belly hangs. I think all women are beautiful no matter what their size. You only get one life and you sound good to me.

There is an actual product for leg rubs - and I too hear you - size 22 and 5ft 4 and a c section and my body is just all over chubby ha

Thehop I was going to write the exact same thing! Same size, same advice.

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/fashion/advice/a37021/chub-rub-solutions-remedies/

More products than I thought!!

I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this, can you invest in some amazing spanx? I know I feel more confident when I'm not wobbling around.

Do any gyms nearby have a crèche? This was a life saver when my boy was born,