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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why Diana’s fans like the queen?

27 replies

YummySushi · 27/05/2018 19:26

I’m watching the story of Diana and yet again I wonder how the world moved on after all that has happened..

To me Diana was let down by the queen , in my opinion - emotionally abused. So why is it fair that the royal family would still be respected after all this ..

I also find it hurtful tthat life allowed her kids to still have a good relationship with their current step mum/Dad/grandma...

Why is life unfair

OP posts:

Ginormoustrawberry · 27/05/2018 19:29

Did you fall for her doe eyes 🙄

ScreamingValenta · 27/05/2018 19:30

Why is it 'hurtful' that they enjoy a good relationship with their dad, stepmum and grandma? Surely you wouldn't want them to have an awful relationship with them.

I'm not a royalist so hold no particular respect for the RF, irrespective of the rights and wrongs of Diana.

There are many things about the RF that are unfair, but Harry and William having a good relationship with Charles, Camilla and the Queen is not one of them.

Spudlet · 27/05/2018 19:31

Yes, it would be much better for everyone if those two children (both grown adults now) were estranged from an entire side of their family, purely for the sake of a satisfying narrative for some random on the Internet. Very emotionally healthy.

steff13 · 27/05/2018 19:31

Life is unfair because it just is.

The kids have a good relationship with their father because he is their father. They were kids when their mother died, he was the only parent they had left. From an outside perspective, he seems to be a loving father and the queen sense to be a loving grandmother. Maybe they genuinely like Camilla.

Diana was not without her faults.

Regardless, you shouldn't find any of it hurtful, it's not your family.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 27/05/2018 19:34

How cruel to wish that 2 children without a mother couldn't have a relationship with their father either.

x2boys · 27/05/2018 19:36

Because Diana wasent perfect either and tbh they should never have got married but they did and whilst it was tragic she died so young , at least William and Harry still have one parentv

Flyingpompom · 27/05/2018 19:37

Good lord. Were you friends with her in real life? If not then why on earth do you think her kids' lives and relationships are any of your business?
Honestly what is wrong with people?!

Dobbythesockelf · 27/05/2018 19:40

You really think that it is unfair that 2 children that had lost their mother have a good relationship with their father? It would have been better if they were estranged and had to deal with it all alone would it? What a horrible thing to say. Whether you like the royal family or not they are still people and they were kids at the time.

ConferencePear · 27/05/2018 19:43

Are you sure that you really know enough about all these relationships to have an opinion on them ?

x2boys · 27/05/2018 19:45

why is it hurtful to you op?Yes objectively I can see that it must have been very difficult for two young boys losing their mum at such a young age and 36 is no age to die but if you didn't know her its not hurtful to you

WittyJack · 27/05/2018 19:47

Have a right royal (its from the duchy estate)

Original poster

YummySushi · 27/05/2018 19:50

I didn’t mean hurtful to me, more like if she was watching from above she would feel betrayed by fate won’t she ?.

I come from a family where mum was abused by Dad, and he came out as the winner and that was v hurtful to see..

Now I’m suffering by in laws, extremely wealthy and act like mil is a queen and I’m a commoner, and I just had a baby, and it plays on my mind that my child might one day be convinced that “I’m mentally unwell”. I certainly feel like I’m mentally deteriorating due to the emotional abuse... yet would hate to feel like I will end up having my child not learn the truth and that they obtained the vision they wanted - to have me near their grandkids and then toss me like a nobody.

OP posts:

Original poster

YummySushi · 27/05/2018 19:52

have me bear their grandkids.

Sorry I might just b having a moment.

But just wanted to see how principles get thrown away when the family in law are influential. Mine r very much so, I feel I can relate to the dynamic very much, on a smaller scale

OP posts:

Nubbled · 27/05/2018 19:56

I take it you were too young, or not born when it all went tits up? which was when she married a man who she knew didn't love her

ScreamingValenta · 27/05/2018 19:57

Diana was a very loving mother - I imagine that her main wish would be for her sons to be happy - which they appear to be.

It sounds as if you are identifying with Diana because you have difficulties in your own life. Have you anyone to support you? Have you sought help for the anxiety you are suffering?

Try not to see Diana's tragedy as your own .

x2boys · 27/05/2018 20:01

it was 21 years ago though and had she no died hopefully she would moved on and maybe married again and may be her and Charles could have been amicable who knows? I'm sorry for your situation though.

Flyingpompom · 27/05/2018 20:02

I think you're very much projecting.
While your situation sounds awful, we can't possibly know what really went on between Charles and Diana. And I think it's widely recognised that she was mentally unwell. That doesn't mean you are, of course.
I hope your situation improves, OP. Take care
Sorry if my first post was snippy.

steff13 · 27/05/2018 20:03

I didn’t mean hurtful to me, more like if she was watching from above she would feel betrayed by fate won’t she?

I'm sure if Diana is looking down on them she's happy they're happy.

There's no indication that their family has treated Diana's memory with anything but respect when it comes to the kids. William gave Kate Diana's engagement ring, and Harry made Meghan's ring from some of Diana's diamonds. They probably wouldn't have done those things if they had been poisoned against her by their father's family.

SoyDora · 27/05/2018 20:07

Would you prefer the children who lost their mother also had no relationship with the rest of their family? Who did you think should Jane brought them up?
I think you’re projecting your own family issues on to the royal family.

hidinginthenightgarden · 27/05/2018 20:07

I doubt Diana would want them to hate their father. Diana made as many mistakes as Charles did. It is tragic that she died but I doubt she is looking down feeling disappointed.

Original poster

YummySushi · 27/05/2018 20:11

Ok guys I’m not saying she is disappointed with her kids...

But like, with the fact her writing that book didn’t result in justice ..

Ok I agree I’m projecting. Thnx all. Shall control my thoughts

OP posts:

Queenoftheblitz · 27/05/2018 20:14

It's easy to forget that Diana had made peace with what happened at the time she died.
She was on good terms with Charles and was happy when he turned up at KP to have tea with her, wearing the jumper she'd bought him. The last footage of them together shows them kissing each other goodbye. She even felt sorry fot Camilla.
So I don't think she's looking down in outrage.

Confusedbeetle · 27/05/2018 20:16

Please dont put yourself in their shoes. Whatever is going on in your life is something else. You dont know the family, the queen or diana. Their drama was their drama, not th stuff of Diana fans who only know what they want to know

x2boys · 27/05/2018 20:16

Just remember though when Diana died she hadent been divorced from Charles for long and she had lost her HRH , whilst she might have been very bitter about everything then, had she not died we have no idea how she would have felt about things now ,people mellow over time.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/05/2018 20:21

Exactly. She was extremely good at manipulating the media later in her life. Charles is very unsympathetic but as far as I can tell he is close to his sons, gave them a different childhood than he had, and is respectful and loving towards them and their families.

TBH all the media bullshit and people's stupid expectations are why Charles couldn't marry the person he loved in the first place.

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