To have refused this “gift”

[BigPinkBall]

I’ve posted about my MIL before giving us tons of unwanted “gifts” for dd that are either unsuitable or not to our taste and how the sheer volume of stuff is overwhelming. We always accept the gifts gratefully and take a picture of dd with them before putting them in the charity shop pile.

She offered to buy dd a 2nd toy box to keep all the (age inappropriate) toys she’s bought her in, we said there was no need and we’d get one ourselves but she insisted, we showed her the type we’ve already got, it’s a plastic box that DD can reach into and was only £6.99 from B&M.

Today she turned up with a set of cheap looking plastic drawers, DH said to her that they weren’t suitable because dd would try to climb them and pull them over and I mentioned that we’d had some similar ages ago but we’d got rid of them because they were wobbly. She immediately got back in the car screaming and shouting about how she’s had enough and she’d take them back (she won’t, they’ll sit in her living room so she can tell everyone how ungrateful we are).

Jeez, can no one on here just be nice to their families?

@CowbellPopular AIBU would be empty if people were nice to their families!

@johnmccainsdeathstare She is a bit of a hoarder, not in a fire hazard way, but she’s kept lots of DHs toys for 30+ years, and keeps trying to give them to dd despite us trying to explain that they’re not safe and even if they were she’s not old enough for them yet.

@BigPinkBall

I feel for you and wondered if we shared same mil. Me has brought drawers, toys, clothes you name it. Last week turned up with some socket covers "in case I needed them"? I have four young childen so of course we have them ffs. Why she does it I don't know but she is no longer allowed to bring crap in at the door it's gets turned away amd i tell her to take ut back to her house. I couldn't give a shit what she thinks I don't want anymore shit in my home. She used to cry and tell my dh I'd upset her when that stooped havibg any effect she now sulks. I have no clue what anybody would want to waste money then offload tat onto someone else.

@Raver84 DH is an only child, it would be nice if he had a sibling to share the “generosity” a bit 😂

I think she just likes to look generous and that’s why it doesn’t matter that it’s tat, she can say that she spent £x amount.

At Christmas she always makes sure that she’s spent more than my mum, what she doesn’t see is that my mum always asks what we want and what she buys gets used and appreciated, whereas her crap gets put in the charity bag by the front door and is out of the house as soon as the bag is full!

I could also teach her not to touch the fire but I think I’ll stick with a fire guard!
*
HA TOLD!*

Another reason I put my foot down on all these 'unwanted gifts' is because it falls to me to have to tidy them, organize them and maintain them. It eats up your life. I don't like lots of possessions myself, so I'll be buggered if I have to spend more time than absolutely necessary picking up after others. And yes, my children and husband help but it isn't enough. The kids are just as happy with less.

I worked for a family with a MIL like this. She was a massive horder and used to come visiting with all sorts of crap she found in her attic or at a charity shop and it usually stank of moth balls because it was sooo old. She meant well but her crap always ended up in the charity shop.

I would try to work with your DH. Come up with a non-emotional way of dealing with it.
Perhaps take it in turns to say a calm "thanks, but we said before we are ok for toys / whatever, we invited you to see you".

@Chocmallows DH and his dad are the most unemotional people you could ever meet, I think it’s their way of coping with MIL as she’s so erratic! She’ll never stop buying stuff for us, it’s just how she is, one of DHs aunts even warned me about it when we first got together, she told me they used to just put the tat in a cupboard for 6 months then chuck it.

Are her car keys nearby when she visits?
I'm wondering if your DH could say the "no thanks, but I'll pop it back in you car hope you have the receipt" bit too.