To feel a bit down that I've not got any friends at work?

[Billynomatesatwork]

Yes I know people "don't go to work to make friends", but as pathetic as it sounds I am really struggling with this atm.

I am a nurse; I've worked at my current job for 2 years and though there are a few people I'm fairly friendly with, there's no one at work I'd consider an actual 'friend' (as in contact outside of work or meet up with). A lot of people have left recently, and so we have a lot of agency staff to cover the gap atm, which makes things more stressful in general, and the last few weeks I've been noticing the lack of having anyone to have a laugh and a joke with etc when things are really stressful.

I am mid 20s, the majority of people I work with are 40 and above, so while we are friendly at work, we don't have that much in common. There was a group of girls my age when I first started who were good friends with each other, but they were quite clicky and didn't really reciprocate when I tried to make an effort, most of them have left now.

Sounds pathetic I know, but all my friends I trained with (who I'm still friends with, so I can make friends ) have made good friends at their work places in the last two years - nights out, lunches, trips away, have been asked to be a bridesmaid etc. I'm just a bit down that I haven't made a single new friend in those two years.

I do have a few really close friends outside of work (though some have grown apart in the last year or so), but they all work 9-5 and I do shifts, so it's a bit harder to arrange to meet up.

Am I the only one who doesn't have any friends at work and feels sad about it?! I do have a bit of anxiety anyway so probably over thinking it :/

The problem with nursing is the huge number of staff and high turnover. Does the hospital have any social groups you could join?

Otherwise focus on making more solid friendships away from the wards and simply having a nice working relationship with whoever is on duty that day.

This won’t help but after a very long career in health I was suddenly injured and unable to work. Colleagues who I would have classed as friends simply vanished. I see one and that’s it. I now see we were friendly colleagues which was a bit different.

Thank you for replying. I think I am going to start looking for a none ward job that's a bit more 9-5 so that I can get a better work life balance. I was coming off nights yesterday and cried all the way home cos I felt so down about it - nights do make me emotional though! I feel a bit torn about because I do love my job, but I want to be able to do things that I enjoy regularly in the evenings and weekends. There's no hospital social groups that I know of, but there's things outside of work that I'd like to join, running club etc. I've been working a lot of regular overtime to save for a house deposit too, so don't think that's helped, definitely need better work life balance.

Always better to keep friends and work separate.

I would say that though as I'm an HR Director and no one wants to be my friend 🤣 in all seriousness though, I've seen situation where workplace friendships have gone sour and caused real issues - it's often when two friends have gone for the same job in a redundancy or promotion situation.

I like all most of my colleagues but I wouldn't go out of my way like I do with my friends.

I'm friendly with the people I work with, but I don't see them or contact them outside work. I prefer it that way - a few weeks ago several of them had a falling out over some nonsensical Facebook drama; there were tears and recriminations, and I just thought 'thank goodness I'm not involved in this'.

all my friends I trained with have made good friends at their work places in the last two years - nights out, lunches, trips away, have been asked to be a bridesmaid etc.
Ah yes but these 'friends' provide so many of the AIBU threads so actually you're better off without them. Do you want to be posting in the future about how you were the only one not invited to the wedding even though you organised the present etc.? Or how you were really good friends with someone but now she's better friends with a new person & they're ignoring you? Be friendly with people, but keep real friendships separate.

I know how you feel op. I started a new job last year, the small the company had been taken over by a large company. The people who worked for Small company (sc) didnt like this but nobody was made redundant, in fact business and staff were increased. I was one of the first to be recruited by large company (lc) and boy, have the sc people let it be known that I am not one of them.

Since I started lc has taken on about about 8 people in our office but half are temps. And sc people do not mix with us at all.

I have thought about looking for a new job as I have no one to talk to, the other lc starters are either younger than me or really quiet. I have nobody to talk to, I feel very lonely. When I hear the sc people arranging nights out etc I feel so sad. But after the way they have treated me I wouldn’t ever mix with them.

I don’t know what to suggest op but I know it’s shit. I hated working for my last company, they were horrible to work for, but I miss my old team, they were friendly and welcoming.