To HATE the wonder weeks app/book

[Namechangemum100]

What a glorious way to make the first year of your babies life look like one massive big black cloud of doom.

Having just had dC2 very shortly after having Dc1, I am throwing it in the bin. It is utterly depressing, and I think it is actually a major detriment to the moral of many new mum's.

I have lost count of the amount of people I have heard saying..."oh we have had an awful week with little Archie, but we are just coming out of leap 4 so hopefully it will get better soon"

As if there aren't already enough "rules" and guidelines to follow, we can now count on this wonderful piece of literature to make us dread the weeks ahead, lumping them altogether as predictable little nightmares, rather than embracing our babies as individuals who are all different and unique in their own ways.

Anyone else burning their copy anytime soon?

I never had one with dc1, but I think it would have done more harm than good if I had! Dc2 arrived 4 months ago and I really don’t miss my nct mum friends banging on about cloudy days
/ stormy weeks / whatever. It just scared the life out of me when they did, as my dc1 was one of the youngest, so I was constantly on edge waiting for the next bad spell.

YABU. I will give you this- it's not exactly scientific (it's based on some fairly anecdotal and middle-class based 'evidence', however it does establish a fairly common pattern). Of course, if you plot the charts and plan your lives about it then you are a numpty, but it saved me countless times from thinking that there was something wrong with dc, when actually it was just normal development.

I never bothered. From what NCT friends seemed to say about it every week was a regression or a fussy week predicted by the book - ie normal baby then.

The best - and only - advice I read was on here and it was "Baby doesn't read the books".

Also there's a good long read on baby books in The Guardian from last year and I. It I recall the guy writing that the Wonder Weeks couple were debunked as bad science by one of their own research students or something like that.

Yes!! I completely agree with you.
I got so sick of hearing people harping on about leaps and regression. I initially bought the book and before long I decided that actually any baby behaviour could be attributed to some sort of leap/regression. As you say, it’s just babies being babies!!

Also there's a good long read on baby books in The Guardian from last year and I. It I recall the guy writing that the Wonder Weeks couple were debunked as bad science by one of their own research students or something like that.

That's right. They tried replicating the results and it was a total failure. Basically the whole thing looks made up.

I like it. I like knowing the developmental point they are at and how their perception of the world is changing. It's much more than just about the 'leaps', and the development info is interesting, not just oh they will sit up soon etc but actually about how they are perceiving things.

If you use it to time when the next leap is due and think oh god a leap is coming then I should imagine it's not so good. Use it to understand their minds a bit more and maybe as reassurance on the shitty days and it's pretty cool.

I think perhaps the app, which is much more limited than the book, boils it down to leaps more (though there is still a lot about their development in there), especially if you have the notification thing on. I never did that as then you end up looking for the behaviour change.

Oh and DD uses the book to scribble on now... No doubt that’s some sort of leap too.

Also, your baby can be completely unique and individual, and still go through a fucking wretched spell at certain defined junctures. The two are not mutually exclusive. The book does try to adjust for gestation age to take into account prematurity, and it does not claim to speak for children who have other additional needs.

I think it's fair to say the book isn't for you then.

It really helped with DD1 because she followed the pattern till she was 1. DD2 was (& is still) a ray of sunshine every day. I needed it with DD1 because every day felt like a week and I needed to know it would get better.

If it doesn't suit you bin it or sell it on eBay to someone it can help.

Oh dear god, what fresh hell is this? It sounds terrible.
Babies take their own sweet merry time to do stuff, same as the rest of us. This strikes me as something else to try and guilt trip/beat parents over the head with if their baby seemingly doesn't fit into an average. By the very fact there is an average there has to be people way above and way below!

I'm a FTM and I'm finding it helpful to cope with a sudden change in behaviour, rather than feeling like I was suddenly completely failing.
Everyone's different, but for my own personal sanity, it reminds me DD is changing day by day and not to be hard on myself if it all goes belly up for a while

Totally agree!! Had the app for the first month and then got rid! It made me dread what was coming instead of just finding my own ways through.

Like a previous poster I found it reassuring at times.
If you follow (or expect your kid to follow) it religiously then I would say you’re mad.
But for those times when you can’t figure out out what on EARTH is going on with your baby, it’s lovely to see a big black cloud over their age!

YANBU. I'm on a FB parents of babies groups and there are always loads of posts 'just entering leap 4. Baby was a nightmare today and I have 2 weeks of this still to come!' Personally, I'd rather not know. I've never read when any leaps etc are and I've never noticed my baby was more fussy than usual for weeks at a time. Obviously some days she's cried more or whatever but she's a baby, fair enough. I imagine if some mums have a difficult day and read it could last for weeks it could really make them feel depressed.

YANBU. I had the app and borrowed the book, but I could never figure out how it was supposed to help me. In the end, my parenting philosophy for babies is: muddle through as best you can.

The book is full of assurances that all babies are different and it's not an exact science. The people complaining sound like they've just worked off the app in isolation (unwise as without the context it's too stark) or not read all of the book (totally understandable because who has time for that- I read it during cluster feeds in the early days and dipped in and out once things were less fraught).
I think if you're looking for a solution-based book (short term) then it's not good, as all it does is offer signposts for development with 'try to enjoy/ grit teeth, this will all pass and change again next month).
There are other books that might suit other parenting styles better if that's not the message you want to hear or the (in)action you want to take.