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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to accept this council house.

140 replies

TotallyChorkie · 26/05/2018 08:55

More of a WWYD?

We have been on the waiting list for 10 years. We currently rent at £1000 pcm and have never been able to save for a deposit to buy. The house is small and we have 3 children to one room.

We have been offered a council house at £510 pcm. The area is not a very good area with a gang and drug culture. I know it well and feel it is like any other London fringe town but I don’t deny that there are huge problems there.

My children would not have to move school and have some friends that live in this area. It would save us £500 a month which we could put towards a deposit and move out in 5 - 7 years time.

My husband feels that we should stay put. The LL is a friend and he is fairly confident that we are here long term. DH thinks we should put the children’s childhood first and remain in this area. This would mean renting long term and we are already in our early forties. I worry about retirement.

OP posts:
SeriousSass · 26/05/2018 09:43

Is there any chance that your kids would become involved in drug or gangs?

I’d take the council house, I think but you should try and save every penny of the £500 you save.

Is it a tendency for life with a right to buy? If so, that does seem wrong. ... not that that would effect my decision if I were the OP.

borlottibeans · 26/05/2018 09:46

If you take the house and it's really awful, you could always go back to renting privately after 6 months, especially if you've been saving the £500 a month.

fruitofthenight · 26/05/2018 09:47

I'd take it and save the money from the difference in rent towards a mortgage.
If the area isn't great you might find someone in another council property wanting to exchange so you could end up somewhere nicer in the end.

GeekyWombat · 26/05/2018 09:48

I’d take it and just make sure you were saving the money. Best case scenario you end up liking the area after all (if it’s only a mile and a half away maybe it won’t be that different) and you get right to buy, but even if you decide after a year it’s not for you at least you’ll have more money in savings.

carribeanqueenmumofthree · 26/05/2018 09:49

I'm really torn, here. On the one hand, the house would be a great opportunity to have more space, and save some money. On the other hand, the area sounds like it has serious issues. As the mother of a boy, I'd be very wary of moving into that kind of environment. I live very near to, and work within, areas where gangs are a huge issue and it's terrifying. One of my families was recently moved out of the area through safeguarding due to a clear threat from a gang.
Sorry if that sounds alarmist, but it's coming from real experience.

Mrsmadevans · 26/05/2018 09:49

3 dc in 1 room ?
That would be a game changer for me OP also if you refuse this house are you ever gonna get another, you may love it there . If you don't then you can move back to this house surely ?

tid2018 · 26/05/2018 09:51

Take the house. It will get your foot in the door and you could always put in fir a swap in a few years- or buy. £500 saving a month is a lot!

goodnessidontknow · 26/05/2018 09:52

Unfortunately I don't think the savings you could make would be enough to enable you to buy. Even with RTB, a £30-35k deposit at approaching 50 means a huge mortgage to get a family home which, if you're struggling to pay £1k per month rent seems unrealistically high to achieve.

If a bigger house and some spare cash is worth the sacrifice of moving to an area with gang trouble then take the house but with a young family I would be prioritising their best environment over my future financial security. Only you know how this house fits into that.

CecilyP · 26/05/2018 09:53

I think it would be really wrong to move to an area with a gang and drug culture with children the age yours are. I’m not for a second saying you’ve not done a good job of raising good kids, but I just wouldn’t want to put kids in their teens slap bang in the middle of that kind of area-I’d be so scared of my kids being influenced, raising teens is a hard enough job without taking them to live in that kind of area where temptation could be hard to resist.

But the kids from the estate go to the same school that her DCs attend now. If they wanted to mix with and be influenced by the wronguns, they already could, it is only a mile and a half away. They are more likely to remain friends with the friend they have now. Well, I hope their friends aren't as snobbish as lastnight's seem to have been.

Bobbybobbins · 26/05/2018 09:54

I would take it - it's only a mile and a half away and the difference in rent is enormous!

SaucyJack · 26/05/2018 09:56

I'd take the house- unless the area was genuinely terrible.

Your DC need the space, and this will only become more of an issue as their get older.

Alevel · 26/05/2018 09:58

What town is it in? Someone who lives there or has lived here might be able to give good advice. A mile and a half sounds like nothing but can make a big difference in area.

carribeanqueenmumofthree · 26/05/2018 09:59

CecilyP I don't see it as being snobbish, it's not about want to keep your kids away from the smelly poor ones. Gangs have a devastating effect on a local area, and can draw kids in without them really realising what's happening. If I had a choice, I would keep my family as far away from that risk as possible.

AddictedtoSnickers · 26/05/2018 09:59

Sorry OP, but no way would I move my 3 children to an area with a drug and gang culture if there was any alternative. You'd save £47,000 over 7 years which sounds great for other parts of the UK but probably not enough to secure a london mortgage. Especially at the ages you will be by then. It wouldn't be worth it for me.

niknac1 · 26/05/2018 10:00

I would take the council house, you need more space, secure tenure and you’ve waited patiently so you deserve it, the choice isn’t easy but from reading your posts I would grab it quick.

AjasLipstick · 26/05/2018 10:01

Take it. Take it and involve yourself in the community to try to help it in some way.

That's what we did when we had to live in a flat in quite a rough area. We volunteered at the local youth club and DH ran a footy team for the kids. It helps to improve places and if someone's aware of problems, then they usually have something to offer.

carribeanqueenmumofthree · 26/05/2018 10:02

For people who say a mile and a half isn't far, it can be a world apart. I've lived in several large towns and cities in the UK, and over that distance, you'd gone from huge posh houses to sink estates.

Badoukas · 26/05/2018 10:03

I think take the council house. You can always return to private rented but this offer may not reoccur. Drugs are everywhere, your kids are either going to take drugs or not regardless of where they live. Mine are regularly offered them and they don't take.

daisypond · 26/05/2018 10:04

I live in London. I would definitely take the council house - but more for the security it will provide you than the money. You will have that security for life. Your DC will go to the same school and hopefully have the same friends, and it's not so far away - unless you have a real fear that gangs will realistically suck them in - ie, are they already on the fringes of gangs, do they know a lot of people who are in them, will the house be on an estate where a lot of people are in gangs, or is it apart? The three DC in one room isn't so much of an issue, but of course more space is nice. My 3 DC shared one room and they're more or less grown up now.

Tink2007 · 26/05/2018 10:04

cricketmum84 She has been on the council list for 10 years. Private rents in London are astronomical. Just because someone is paying £1000 pcm doesn’t mean they can afford it. The OP could be struggling to pay that or paying the rent and scrimping in other areas.

SluttyButty · 26/05/2018 10:06

I'd take the house. I used to live somewhere that had a terrible gang and drug reputation but we lived there very happily and trouble free for many years. If a child is going to go off the rails then they will.

On a side note it always amuses me that people think social houses are only for those who are destitute. The new builds here are £800/900 a month for a three bed social housing house, only working people who have sufficient income are allowed them. You don't work, you don't get the house, simple.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 26/05/2018 10:06

I think you have to take the house.3children in one room doesn't sound doable as they get bigger.

rainbowdashflip · 26/05/2018 10:06

I wouldn't move my kids into that, never in a million years. It's not about snobbery as mentioned above, it's the difference between life and death sometimes. As a parent it's my job to protect my children. These gangs use guns and knives.

rainbowdashflip · 26/05/2018 10:06

If a child is going to go off the rails then they will.

This is only partly true. As parents we need to do everything we can to protect them from doing so.

CecilyP · 26/05/2018 10:07

No, carribean my post was referring to lastnightidreamtofpotatoes post upthread where she said her friends weren't allowed to visit her because she lived on a council estate! I don't think anyone else is snobbish for having understandable fears.