I am so hopeful that this change comes
I had to travel to the UK a few years ago only a few months after I got married after receiving the really devastating news that our baby had abnormalities.
Luckily we could afford to travel but the pressure, having to ring clinics in the UK, book flights and accommodation made it all much more difficult and traumatic.
The shame, guilt and worry that we might be seen in the airport and have to explain where we were going.
Staying in a hotel where I couldn't sleep a wink and having horrible thoughts and about what I was about to do.
Getting a taxi to a place we had no idea where it was. Getting lost and ringing the clinic to try and find where it was.
Going into a packed clinic and just wanting to scream and go home. No privacy initially. No where to grieve and cry in privacy.
Waiting on the ward for hours with a gorgeous nurse who tried to comfort me. Me and DH uncontrollably crying before I went to surgery.
Going into the theatre and the Anesthetist who couldn't really look at me and was texting on his phone.
To waking up with two other girls there. One balling her eyes out. Me crying and telling the nurse I didn't want it to be like this and I did want my baby.
Waiting hours to get out. Waiting on a taxi and feeling shame that they would know what happened. Going back to the hotel and feeling somewhat relieved and just wanting to forget all about it.
Bleeding heavily and afraid to get an earlier flight in case I leaked or had complications.
Coming back through the airport terrified again that anyone would see us.
Then just feeling like I couldn't get over it and if we did the right thing. Having to go to counseling. Feeling like I couldn't talk about it to anyone.
Hearing horrible things from the no side including family saying it's killing babies and I'm evil and a horrible person. Sometimes I felt this too.
If this goes through I think it will be such a step forward for Ireland and women.