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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL OTT about germs, or AIBU?

25 replies

charlottexox · 25/05/2018 19:44

My MIL is so over board with germs, as an example; today we went for DD who is 22 months. DD doesn't like using cutlery as she hasn't grasped it just yet, so I usually place food on the table for her to pick up and eat with her hands (she just had a few chips and chicken nuggets for lunch).
I ripped her chicken nuggets apart to make them cool down quicker, plus she crams everything into her mouth!
I put the chicken nuggets on my side of the table so that they could cool down, and MIL made a huge fuss by saying "oh no, I didn't clean that area! Why don't you just put them on a napkin, here you go." This isn't the first time, she is so OTT with not letting DD put her hands in her mouth and eating food off a table that hasn't been cleaned beforehand.
Sorry, but AIBU? DP was a very sickly child, and now I'm wondering if it's because his mum was OTT!
I was rarely ill, if ever and I used to make mud pies, put my hands in my mouth all the time, play outside in grass and mud etc.
Just wondering, how true people think this is? And am I being the OTT one?🤣
I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant so anything people do, really makes me mad lately😳

OP posts:
Coolaschmoola · 25/05/2018 19:49

That sounds like a cross between basic hygiene practices and not wanting hot greasy food directly on the table.

I used to clean the table after dd meals so it was always clean for the next one, if I moved her highchair I'd give the table the once over before putting food in it and I'm not a zealot by any stretch of the imagination. It's just normal cleaning isn't it?! Same as washing a plate after non-messy food.

Tiredtomybones · 25/05/2018 19:51

Maybe she knows what was on the table previously and doesn't like the idea of food going on it (shoes, dirty tissues, spill of beer, something else unpleasant). Or maybe she doesn't want the food to mark the table. I must admit I wouldn't feed either of my dc food straight off a table but I am a little on the ott side where germs are concerned.

AnneProtheroe · 25/05/2018 19:54

Why not just use a plate? Confused

Original poster
charlottexox · 25/05/2018 19:56

@AnneProtheroe, DD just tips things off a plate if you put them on one..

OP posts:
Gottokondo · 25/05/2018 20:03

DD just tips things off a plate if you put them on one.

She sounds like my family Smile. MIL might be over the top but I presume that DD spends more time with you than with her so I would leave it or maybe remark that you believe that coming in contact with germs is good for her.

Ansumpasty · 25/05/2018 20:05

Maybe she likes to sit her naked butt on the table when people aren’t home Grin
I don’t care in the house but it always makes me cringe in McDonald’s when parents pour their kid’s food onto the table and let them eat off it.

Amummyatlast · 25/05/2018 20:09

I'd find it pretty disgusting to eat food off a surface that I had no idea of the cleanliness of.

Urubu · 25/05/2018 20:17

I would also wonder why the nuggets pieces weren't on a plate. A baby doing BLW could eat off a flat surface, but at 2yo I would start teaching them not to tip the plate over.

NannyR · 25/05/2018 20:21

I'm a bit lax when it comes to cleaning/hygiene, but I would definitely wipe over a table before putting a child's food directly on it, putting it on a napkin seems a good compromise.
I try to get toddlers used to using plates too, as part of learning table manners and how to behave and take part in family mealtimes.

Pebblespony · 25/05/2018 20:24

Get a plate that sticks to the table. Very handy for travelling/ visiting.

ScattyCharly · 25/05/2018 20:31

Rude and unhygienic to eat directly off table imo. Teach her to use a plate. On a table, it’s not really about “germs” so much as random detritus and basic manners (not getting unnecessary amounts of food all over a table).

Iamnotacerealkiller · 25/05/2018 20:35

There is a suspected link between lack of infections/exposure and childhood lukemia YANBU. what could possibly have been on the table that could do any harm?

first borns are far more likely to have allergies and get infections in later life. the suspected cause is the overprotection from germs by paranoid parents for their pfb that they lose by the second child.

unless there is a likelyhood of shit, raw meat or chemicals on there whats the problem?

the strongest thing i use on surfaces is washing up soap, and often just warm water.

my oh says i'm bulletproof though from a feral childhood eating woodlice and fishfood.

Lethaldrizzle · 25/05/2018 20:40

This will turn in to a bun fight between the germ phobes and the germ philes

Weezol · 25/05/2018 20:44

I think it's important for kids to get mucky to build their immune systems, but would still suggest this as a way to help them get the hang of plates:

www.amazon.co.uk/Silicone-Suction-Weaning-Placemat-Highchair/dp/B078PFV5V5/ref=sr_1_6_a_it?keywords=toddler+plates+and+bowls+with+suction&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1527277199&sr=8-6

Coolaschmoola · 25/05/2018 20:44

I wouldn't want hot, greasy nuggets and chips on my table. Is it a wood table?

snufflehuff · 25/05/2018 20:52

Eww, people put their bags on tables. Bags that have also been on toilet floors and the ground outside. Ask for a spare plate for heaven's sake! Or use a napkin. Putting it on the table is gross!

Original poster
charlottexox · 25/05/2018 20:53

Have tried suction plates but she's worked out how to get them off the table.

OP posts:
Original poster
charlottexox · 25/05/2018 20:54

Effing hell, these comments though 🤣 Makes me wonder how my parents survived all the germs they came into contact with when they were kids, and they're rarely if ever ill.

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 25/05/2018 21:24

Makes me wonder how my parents survived all the germs they came into contact with when they were kids, and they're rarely if ever ill*

I presume your parents are the same generation as mine, OP, and we were still brought up with basic hygiene.

Nobody has ever accused me of being OTT with hygiene, but I do insist that dgd washes her hands before eating, etc. And I wouldn't put food straight on the table. Dgd is nearly five but has only had two days sick off school in two years.

VileyRose · 25/05/2018 21:26

M8ne have always done this as they would throw plates lol. No one ever got ill from it.

Ethylred · 25/05/2018 21:42

Chicken nuggets and chips?
How fat do you want your child to be?

Original poster
charlottexox · 25/05/2018 21:46

@Ethylred DD is a perfect weight for her age it's not like she is fed them every day of the week thanks very muchGrin Didn't realise 1 treat once in a while could make you obese 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
AllMYSmellySocks · 25/05/2018 21:53

Chicken nuggets and chips?
How fat do you want your child to be?

Bloody hell, I know this is MN but do we really have to pick apart every irrelevant detail of the post.

Original poster
charlottexox · 25/05/2018 21:56

Gotta love judge mums, suppose her kids eat salads every day thenGrin

OP posts:
robotcartrainhat · 25/05/2018 21:59

OP I wouldnt bat an eye at toddler eating off the table HOWEVER it is within the realms of normality to not like eating off tables and to want toddler to eat off a plate or napkin... so I dont think you can say your MIL is being OTT.
Im not sure if theres any clear side to come out on on this one. You are the mum so it should be up to you how you feed your toddler BUT then again if you were in MILs house shes got a reasonable position to say she doesnt want anyone eating directly off her table....
So I dunno.... neither of you are really being unreasonable

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