To give my child a name I know FIL will hate?

[Babysharkdododo]

NC for this as potentially quite outing.

DH has a very small family. Him, his mum and dad and his uncle (mum's brother). No grandparents, siblings, cousins. There are some great aunts and second cousins he doesn't know, that's it.

FIL doesn't like the uncle. At all. As he has no other close relatives, the uncle stays with MIL and FIL for family type occasions (at MIL's invitation), like Christmas and Easter. FIL doesn't really speak to the uncle and complains about him behind his back the whole time. There's no obvious reason for FIL's dislike other than that he's a bit of a curmudgeonly old goat at times, and he perhaps feels that the uncle is taking the piss by visiting all the time and not really giving anything back in terms of hospitality (the uncle has all their food and drink and doesn't contribute or buy them a meal ever). But we don't know the uncle's financial situation and I suspect he doesn't have much spare cash.

MIL and DH both like the uncle, I've got nothing against him, he seems harmless and good-natured.

So... are DH and I bring unreasonable to name our baby DS after the uncle? It would be a middle name, not first name. The middle name works perfectly with our chosen first name and surname, and we have a family tradition of giving a middle name from someone in an older generation. FIL will totally hate it though!

Can your DH speak to your FIL before it is presented as a fait accompli.
It may be a good time to speak about uncle visiting and perhaps explaining about his financial situation

If you & your DH both like the name, your FIL will just have to get over himself

Sounds as it's 3-1 so maybe your FiL will just have to suck it up. Whatever happens try not to let it over shadow this happy time and don't let it upset you too much during your pregnancy. Hope you enjoy every minute.

It is massively different if an elder child already has FIL name - you should have definitely mentioned that in OP!

It is odd though that you emphasise how tiny your husband's family is and so this uncle is the only choice. Is there no useable name on your side?

Since it's the mother's brother, somehow that makes it easier in my mind to overcome the father's dislike. And it would depend entirely on the extent of the dislike - from what you say about the behaviour, FIL simply seems to be a bit crotchety, in which case I'd ignore. But if it were to cause real and genuine upset, I would seriously think again.

In my family, naming a baby after somebody is inevitably met with suspicion that the parents hope the child will receive an inheritance from their namesake! Hopefully not everyone's family is as mean spirited as mine.

Babysharkdodo ah well with the FIL name already being used for your older DC I wouldn't worry about it and stick with the names you have chosen. Names are always a nightmare and there will always be someone muttering about choices..