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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you do?

3 replies

Spongebobsmum · 24/05/2018 18:05

I feel like the answer will be yes but I feel like I need some clarity on the issue.

DD1 has a "father" whom she doesn't see. Totally his decision to walk out of her life at 2yrs, he came back at 6 when we decided to try at a relationship (bad move on my part), once we split again he left her alone again, she has a phone (old one with no money on simply to watch kidsyoutube and stay in touch with family who live further afield on whatsapp).

he contacts her through WhatsApp messages on birthdays and Xmas and every now and again during the year. He has seen her once since she was 2, despite me trying to keep their relationship going.

Anyway it was her birthday recently, she got the usual text a couple of days before but this time he started talking about how much he loved her, how beautiful she was (he hasn't seen pictures as far as I'm aware) and how much she could go stay at his since he's moved house now. His messages come across as rather sleazy and more something teenagers would say to their gf rather than a father daughter thing.

He has another daughter, myself and his ex-wife are in contact regularly and the girls see each other when we can, as they are sisters and have a great bond. I know he doesn't so much as contact the other daughter or her mum so why this with my daughter? And why now? Is it because she is slightly older (9)?

Sorry for the long post!
I just want to know should I message myself telling him how inappropriate his messages are coming across? Should we just ignore him safe in the knowledge that he will crawl back under his rock until Xmas now?

Confused!

OP posts:
Mirrorwriting · 24/05/2018 18:13

I’d say ignore, then if it happens again say something.

Butterflykissess · 24/05/2018 18:24

Can't see how his messages are sleazy?

Spongebobsmum · 24/05/2018 18:33

Just a couple of examples from her phone...

"You are so pretty. I can't believe you are mine"
"Such a gorgeous girl."
"I have moved house now so you can come and stay over"
"What a grown up girl you are. You will be having all the boys after you soon"

They are the most recent. The gorgeous one was in response to her telling him about her being kind to a friend at school. I feel like he's basically a stranger, he hasn't seen her and only pops up when it's Christmas or birthdays through WhatsApp. Why would he even ask her to stay over when he doesn't bother to talk to her or see her?
Maybe sleazy was the wrong word to use, they just really make me uncomfortable.

Xx

OP posts:
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