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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To even be considering meeting my ex under these circumstances.

4 replies

MrsExpo · 24/05/2018 17:34

I’ve been married to DH for 15 years and haven’t seen or heard from my ex since then. Ex DH and I were married for 12 years and i was single for seven between marriages. Ex and I sort of kept in touch after we divorced but all contact ceased when I remarried and he moved to another part in of the country with the OW for whom he dumped me. They had a child shortly after they got together. We are now both in our mid 60’s if that’s relevant.

Today I’ve had a message from him via FB, cryptically saying he’s been living in his new wife’s country for the last 5 years and is now contemplating moving there permanently. He has said he’s coming over to the UK in a few weeks time to put his property on the market and sort out his UK affairs generally and has asked if I will meet him “probably for the last time” to use his own words, while he is here. His new home is a European country, not the other side of the world. The general tone of his message was sad and final.

Am I mad to be even considering meeting him - even for an hour - to find out what’s going on with him? In spite of the circumstances we parted reasonably amicably and I wish him the best. I’ve been completely thrown by this and genuinely dont know what to do. I have his email address but no contact phone number. All MN wisdom would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
user1471459936 · 24/05/2018 17:36

If you are comfortable in his presence and happy for your current husband to know it sounds fine.

themightycrayon · 24/05/2018 17:41

I personally wouldn’t bother, because I couldn’t see myself going to the trouble of meeting up with someone with whom I’d probably have nothing in common after splitting 22 years ago, but that’s just me. If you want to, go. Just make sure your DH is aware.

Murane · 24/05/2018 17:44

I probably would, for closure. He obviously thinks he'll never see you again before he dies and wants to leave things on good terms. You have to get prior agreement from your current husband though.

AnyFucker · 24/05/2018 17:49

With full disclosure to your husband...sure, why not ?

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