To think that cooking isn’t hard...

[CrabappleBiscuit]

....as long as you are physically fit and not unwell and don’t have a disability that makes it hard, and have access to a kitchen and equipment (disclaimer)

Friends who say they or their partners ‘can’t cook’. But hold down jobs, drive cars and can put together flat pack furniture.

It’s not rocket science, read a recipe and do it. I like cooking and I’m good at it, dh isn’t a great cook but he still cooks a fairly limited repertoire but he does.

Is it just laziness?

Being taught at a young age is a huge advantage

Sometimes having parents who can't cook is an advantage. It can go either way I suppose! For me it went the way of trying different foods in my teens/pre-teens, as soon as I had any independence at all then wanting to cook for myself so I could eat more exciting things than fish fingers, chips and peas and the like.

I used to ask my dad to buy ready meals at first (just to try something different), then would get Schwartz type packet mixes with recipes on where you had to buy the rest of the ingredients, then eventually progressed to getting recipe cards and books to make the things from scratch that I had been having in the form of a ready meal previously.

This will show my age, but the first recipe card I had was for this:

Two tubs of creme fraiche! I don't think I ate it all by myself. :) The ingredients were so exotic to me then. Creme Fraiche. Ratafia biscuits (had to get those in the deli as we had no Sainsbury's and Somerfield hadn't heard of them).

I didn't learn to cook until I was in my 20s... and I moved out at 17! I used to live on frozen pizza, dolmio stir in sauces and microwave meals.

I'm cooking a curry right now using my own curry paste. I think anyone can learn to cook. I love Jamie Oliver recipes but will usually tweak everything I try. And I love making recipes up! It all takes practise but I think that most people can learn to cook!

and in none of those cultures is it a matter of shame not to cook.

I don't remember ever really being taught to cook but I often sat in the kitchen with my mum while she cooked and would be given the odd spud to peel or carrot to chop. I guess you pick up little things without realising. Almost anyone could teach themselves from books or the internet if they had the inclination, lots of people just don't enjoy it.

AnnPerkins When I was at school the boys did woodwork and the girls did home economics. We learned to meal plan, shop and cook properly. The boys did not.

I thought things had moved on when my son's were at school they did cookery but it was called food technology. Sadly it didn't include much cooking, not even basic skills. "Designing a sandwich" was the pinnacle of their achievements.

Agree internet is great but you need to (as with any research on net) know what's reliable info and what isn't.

I've found the BBC food pages great for basic techniques and recipes when teaching dd, as its usually for things I haven't made for years that I have to look it up.

Roussette they're not daft they just haven't been taught - by anyone!

Nobody knows everything!

Flat packs have been mentioned a couple of times on here - I CANNOT do them - can barely hang a bloody picture. Anything involving "brain understands to achieve X must do y and translate this to tools" just isn't going to happen with me. Likewise no sense of direction - cannot think in 3-D! Took me 3 goes to pass driving test too, but instructor though nerves there.

Dd can do up to a roast, she can do pasta dishes, chilli, curries and stews, stir fry, shepherds pie, soups, sauces etc she can do the individual items in a roast but struggles juggling the timings and gets flustered.

Stayathomer - at least you're trying. Do you taste your food while you're cooking? What are you worried about undercooking? Because there's actually few foods that would cause real problems - the 3 p's - pork, poultry and prawns (which in the mnemonic is shorthand for shellfish). I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. As you have a tendency toward overcoming you might find you have a talent for cooking dishes/items that need a long cook? Curries, stews (cassoulet, ghoulash), pot roasts, tougher cuts of meat?

BumblingBovine I think there's a wrong perception that we vegetarians are somehow also puritans that don't like food or flavour. So many veggie ready meals and restaurant meals lack seasoning, flavouring from herbs - even stock! You can get veggie stock! Recipes - many I suspect are written by omnivore chefs who look down on vegetarians. Recipes BY vegetarians are generally much better, plus I adjust them myself. Often I look at a new (to me) recipe by an omnivore chef and just looking at the flavouring ingredients know I'll be adding more to what I actually make.

"I married a chef" that's one idea!

Or does it end up a case of "cobblers children"?

Eastie - so true. I was watching child of our time and early on in that show there was a couple who both had learning difficulties AND had grown up in care (I think that's where they'd met), the production crew spotted that when weaning their baby they were feeding them blended portions of what they'd cooked for themselves. What they were cooking was cheap but not bad as such BUT nobody had thought to tell them the dangers of salt for babies and they were using packet/jars high in salt AND adding either salt directly (they were clearly used to highly salted food) or things like soy sauce. Iirc the medical people on the show were concerned enough they strongly recommended the baby be checked by a dr to ensure his kidneys were checked.

It's so fucking boring

I love cooking and only book self catering holidays so I can carry on cooking and using the local ingredients etc. I really miss it when I can't do it!

My DC are slowly learning some kitchen skills and how to put food together. It's so, so important. I'm trying to teach them the basic equation that if they can cook, they can always enjoy nice food!

My father was a brilliant cook, my DH can cook, my DS can cook a bit (still young). Both of my best friends have partners who do all the cooking and both of them are fabulous cooks.

I honestly believe that life is cheaper, richer and more fun when you can make good food for you and your loved ones to eat.

@sassh Thanks so much for that, pesto it is!!!!
@Emmasmum I despair of cook books that tell you to cook for such and soch amount of time 'or until x' I know then I'm up the creek!
@Rousette Yes, unfortunatley I am that bad, I can taste it myself and I just think 'but what did I do?! Texture, appearance, the lot is off. Saying that I get the confidence thing too, if mil, sil or dm served up something that I'd secretly think wasn't great, they'd blame for example one of the ingredients, or an appliance or something, and they'd never ever say anything was difficult!
@sweatymoose same here on being a wannabe foodie, I'm in Facebook food groups and they knock up these wonders and give a recipe and I try them that very evening and, as my ds's would say (about other things, not this!) 'epic fail';)

You're right, cooking is easy. Simple enough to put together a quick meal. I can cook well but I don't love cooking and admit I'm lazy about it. I go for making the simplest thing.

I cooked a huge Quorn stir fry today, enough for 2 days as I can't be asked to be at the cooker more than 3 times weekly. From pan to table in 30 minutes.

People don't like to admit they're lazy about certain things so they come up with elaborate reasons as to why they can't do something.

@graphista I kind of worry about undercooking everything!!!! Curries turn out really bleurgh for me, they just look a mess! And most roasts turn out very dry, even though I do the basting thing. (I'm actually laughing as I type here, I sound horrendous, but I am really!!!!)

OH cooks more than I do. Thankfully.

I can't cook well because I find it very stressful tbh.

some things I can cook very well and they turn out great every time, other things no matter how hard I try they come out fasting rubbish every single time.

Some people know how to match flavours, some can tell from looking if something is cooked, some literally have no idea! Also techniques! Like with pastry, if you handle the dough wrong or too much you make it tough. A few bad attempts can put people off trying!

Reading a recipe won't teach you how to chop an onion safely,fry it and judge when it's cooked.Nor will it demonstrate for eg rubbing in, kneading,whisking,creaming and all those other basic skills you might need to know about.Trial and error may well assist,of course.

Anyone who says 'if you can read a recipe you can cook' has never had the pleasure of teaching 24 eleven year olds to make pasta salad (x 24) on a wet Monday morning.

Many of the recipes I use say e.g. 'fry the onion until brown' or 'until soft but not browned' etc etc. Iv'e also read in cookbooks and recipes the techniques for things like rubbing in, kneading etc.

Plus of course there's telly cooking. Often demonstration accompanied by description.

I’m sorry but if you can’t figure out for yourself how to chop up an onion then perhaps you shouldn’t be allowed to have a knife at all.

But that’s the step above the basic cooking from recipe.
You can cook very well from just a recipe. But yes you can’t adapt etc..
For me the step above what yu describe is a chef that is able to create a new dish.

I wouod be careful to say that you can’t possibly cook if you dint know how to taste and adapt the recipe as you are going along. Because it’s not true.

I don't cook very often. I'm not particularly good at it, probably because I don't get enough practice, and I don't enjoy it at all. Dh enjoys it much more than me, so he does the majority of the cooking.

I do more cooking in the school holidays because I'm a teacher so I have more time in the holidays. I still don't enjoy it, but I do it then so dh doesn't have to do it all year round.

notumbongo I agree. We are doing everyone a disservice. So what if the onion is only chopped roughly, so what if the pieces are unevan, it really doesn't matter.
If you can cut an apple or a pear, you can chop an onion!

Of course I can follow a recipe, doesn't mean that what comes out of the oven at the end is nice

Seriously though, my problem is that I tend to over cook things - obviously a recipe can't tell your exactly how long to cook that chicken breast for, and I worry about food poisoning as it's obviously very unpleasant anyway, but DH is at higher risk of ending up hospitalised.

I also don't particularly enjoy it and find it frustrating and time consuming. I mainly do vegetarian pasta bakes. Pasta, ratatouille, cheese sauce, or other veg based pasta dishes - not vegetarian, my DM only ever did veggie pasta and I find the idea of meat in a pasta dish to be slightly odd.

DH will make more of an effort than me sometimes, but picks rector's with loads of prep and ropes me in to help.

Recipes. Not rector's.

My mum was/is a dreadful cook, which seems to have spurred me on to perfect my favourite recipes, and eat really good food. She doesn’t season anything, never uses garlic or onions, doesn’t dress salad. When she eats here she says everything is so unusually tasty, and when I tell her that the half of it is salt and pepper she doesn’t believe me! Practice, knowledge of rough cooking times/stages, and a love of food seem to be the best starting points for being a decent cook. I’ve shown my 7yo a few tips and tricks and it seems to be fascinating for him, so I hope I pass on the passion for cooking. Every time I get a whole chicken out on a Sunday he says “don’t forget the lemon and garlic up it’s bum!”, and he can make a few basic things like cheesecake, crumbles, pizza. I think it’s really essential to a happy and healthy life, eating well and dividing chores fairly, so I intend so pack them off when they grow up with the skills to look after themselves and their future families. If my husband couldn’t cook and just expected me to serve up dinner every night I would.... well to be honest I don’t think I would have married him!