To not know what to do about our dog?

[Whatsnewwithyou]

We got a two year old greyhound about a month ago and he has been very difficult to deal with. He's our first dog so we don't have any experience or really know what to do.

The main problem is that he's very anxious and cannot stand to be alone. We both work 3 days a week and have a dog walker on those days so he only had to be alone in the house 4 hours at a time as the dog walker comes at lunchtime and takes him out for an hour. The other days we are home most of the day.

At night he has to sleep by himself from 10pm to 5am. He can't sleep with us due to DH's asthma.

Greyhound whines loudly and barks in the night. He also chews on the door of the room he's in to try to get our and has almost ruined the door. From what the neighbours say he whines and barks quite a bit during the day when we're out. He also sometimes wees in the house but is getting better about that. The whining and barking don't seem to be getting better.

We've got him lots of toys and he has stuffed kongs with treats and a comfy bed and we leave the radio on low for him. I have bought him a crate which arrives tomorrow but I'm guessing he will just try to chew his way out of it.

He gets tons of walks as I'm up at 5am to walk him for 45 minutes then either I or the dog walker give him an hour walk at lunch time.

We are at our wits end with the whining and barking. I feel like getting him was a big mistake! AIBU to be thinking I can't cope with so little sleep? And that the neighbours certainly shouldn't have to. But what can I do????

Re home him with someone that's home all day and can have him sleep in their room. He's not the dog for you.

Re crate training, I crate trained mine from 15 months and got him used to it gradually and he was fine, loved it in fact. Definitely must be done slowly though.

He would be better with someone who's at home all day.

Check out prices for dog daycare, it’s not much more expensive than a walker and even doing half days there will be an improvement. Could he sleep outside your bedroom? He’s only been there a month so he isn’t settled yet but it does sound like seperation anxiety, get advice from a behaviorist or another dog for company for him

I tried adopting a dog with similar behaviour and unfortunately I had to give up and return her. It wasn't her fault she had separation anxiety but I ended up completely exhausted from trying to be away as little as possible and making her happy.

I talked to a few dog trainers before I gave up. All day care while I was working was a good suggestion, but that is very expensive and no-one offered it within reasonable distance of where I live. Otherwise it was a case of keeping working at being alone and hopefully in the end it would work out.

I was heartbroken to return her as she was a rally great dog, but I now have adopted a different dog who fitted straight into my life. The difference between the right dog and the wrong dog was really clear. I had started to doubt I could offer a good life to a dog after I returned her, but I clearly can when I have the right dog with me.

Anyway, the point of all that was that I know how it feels, how exhausting and upsetting it is, and if you have to give her back, don't feel that you have failed as a dog owner. You and this dog are maybe just not a good match.

Separation anxiety is an incredibly difficult thing to work with however it can be solved but it takes a very long time and a lot of effort. Someone up thread mentioned the 'Dog training advice and support' facebook group who are excellent. The first thing they will tell you is that you can't solve it while still leaving him alone for even a minute.

1. Get a good (positive) trainer in to guide you through the process
2. A dog walker isn't sufficient for your dog if he can't be left alone. Look into doggy daycare - often isn't much more than a dog walker anyway.
3. Sleep downstairs with him at the moment if he can't cope with being left alone
4. Don't think a crate is going to be some magical cure where you can lock him away and he'll suddenly feel safe - it won't. See 1) for introducing the crate.
5. If you can't dedicate the time/finances/commitment then please look at returning the dog

Can you have another dog this worked so well for PILs Bassett hound who used to be very needy. Also put one of your worn t-shirts in his bed so he can smell you

Btw, some posters are amazed someone with asthma would get a dog. I have asthma and have had dogs for over 15 years now. It is possible to have asthma and dogs. You just have to be extra careful with fluff and my dogs have never been allowed on sofas, beds etc.

Have you heard of the "Borrow my Doggy" site? There are lots of people who aren't allowed to have dogs where they live, or can't commit to them full time. Essentially you let them borrow your pup while you're at work and the dog benefits from extra socialisation.

Please do not shut him in the crate. That is not what a crate is for and you would have to crate train first.

The dog has separation anxiety, you are out for too long. The 4 hour rule is the TOTAL time you are meant to leave a dog on their own in a 24 hour period. Please do not interpret it as 4 hours in the morning, dog walker arrives and then 4 hours in the evening.

After a month he does not know you nor is he happy in his surroundings yet. To properly settle the dog everything should be done gradually, including leaving him on his own.

I would get back in touch with the rescue ASAP.

Thanks all especially sonjadog. I won't crate him but will keep the crate open and available all the time in case it helps him to have a safe space. I'll talk to DH and maybe I'll start sleeping downstairs with the dog. Ill also tey the facebook group and the vet. The agency I got him from is reputable and knew our situation and thought it would be fine but we and they were probably mistaken. They will take him back if need be.

Oh and daycare is quite expensive (£18/day compared to £10 for the dog walker so it woukd be difficult to afford) and I don't think another dog is a great idea for us right now.

Re the getting another dog for company - may not work (and in the meantime you have another dog to look after). I read of a study looking into this, and in many cases it was specifically human company the dog craved.

Many rescue places will only rehome to where at least one person is home all day (or as good as). May seem like a counsel of perfection, but you are talking about a sentient being who - in many cases - has already been through a lot (and can’t tell you about it ).

It’s very early days for the dog, it’s important not to underestimate how huge a change this has been for him. I have a rescue greyhound, we got him at almost 6yrs old and he’d never lived in a home. It’s taken a while for him to settle as life in a home is vastly different to what they are used to when they are raced & retired, waiting for a home.

I agree with the suggestion of taking time off work and building up his understanding that you will come back for him.

Whining at night is fairly common with recently rehomed greys, he’s likely never been alone to sleep and feeling lonely. He will get used to it. I don’t know if it’s an option for you but for his first 6 weeks or so he slept on blankets outside our bedroom door, we had a stairgate up so he couldn’t come in but he could see and hear us. It helped him to settle.

Greyhound Gap is an excellent resource and if you are on Facebook there are a lot of greyhound groups where people offer advice.

Have you spoken to the people who you rehomed him from? They should offer an aftercare service and be able to offer advice on how to help him.

He will be a fantastic pet, he just needs time and support to get used to his new life. We’ve had our boy 18 months and he’s fine now. We have no problems with him, he’s overcome all his earlier fears and issues.

Yes daycare is expensive but you can't leave a new dog alone 8 hours a day 3 x a week! I'm surprised the rescue allowed you to have a dog tbh. It's too long for a dog which isn't settled and happy in its home. Dogs are like children. You have to run your life round them, rather than the other way round

Hi,
If he's used to living outside with other dogs he's had a lot of change to deal with. A crate should be his safe space - not used as a cage - hence why people spend weeks crate training. He will be even more anxious and stressed locking him in a cage.

Be honest with yourselves whether you have the time, patience and commitment for this dog and if not return him to the rehoming centre if you can. Some dogs have separation anxiety and will never be able to be left for more than 1 or 2 hours.

You really can't just keep leaving him for eight hours a day (I presume four hours morning, then the dog walker comes in, then four hours evening) - that's far too long for pretty much all dogs, let alone one you've only had a month.

Can either of you take time off work, or work from home at all? Or even take him with you? I appreciate that's not possible for everyone but it's worth looking into if it at all possible.

I think if you can't dedicate the time or money to ensure the dog is looked after and kept company through the day, then you need to consider giving him back to the rescue.

It's classic separation anxiety. Greys are fabulous but they're kennelled with other dogs (usually 2 per run) so they're never alone and they struggle when they're left. They also don't experience being a "normal" puppy and they don't know how to be in a home without a fair bit of settling in.

Greys don't get destructive through boredom because they're too lazy, they get destructive when they're distressed. It sounds like your dog needs a pal.

I've had Greyhounds for 20 years, all retired racers. Best dogs ever but they need a fair bit of reassurance. Mine is looking for a belly rub but he raided the bin twice today so I'm playing hard to get.

Second stair gate he might settle at night if he can see you both.

I feel sad for this dog. If I'm going to be out for more than 2-3 hours my dogs go to daycare. Neither of my dogs would cope with being alone for the time your talking about and I'm amazed the rescue thought this was ok.

If you can't afford the daycare then I don't think a dog is the right pet for you, especially when he can't sleep upstairs with you either so he is alone a lot more than he is with you, on the days you work.

I don't mean it to sound harsh but I really think you should consider daycare, even if it's just in the short term while dog settles in and you can very gradually build up on time left alone in the house, starting with like 10 mins at a time so he realises you will be back soon. Then go to 15 mins etc and go from there.

I think getting a rescue is like getting a puppy in regards to the settling in period. Everything needs to be be introduced slowly.

I know you said day care was too costly but think about whether you could afford one day out of the three you work, or half days as some collect and drop off. He will then get some company both human and dog. He may not need it long term but for now he is clearly struggling with all the changes and needs time to feel at home.

A few years ago we bought a Springer from a dog rescue, and we had exactly the same problems, separation anxiety, barking at night, chewing the bottom of the door, pooing and peeing, in the room where we kept him at night, and when we went out. I wish I could say we found a cure, but we didn't. I worked P/T, and he had our other dog for company. Although I have asthma, we took him upstairs with us, and he slept by the side of the bed, I just made sure I took my inhaler just before we went up. I have to admit, it got to the stage, where when we went out we made sure we didn't leave him for too long.

We hadn't got the heart to get rid of him, as he had been very cruelly treated, and as he was only left for a few hours a week, the rest of the time he was such a very happy loving dog.

We've had our rescue dog for 18 months and even now after lots of training and gradual build up we can only leave her for about 2 hours max, and only leave her for as long as she is able to cope with without getting distressed. For the first 6 months or so she was never left alone at all, not even for 10 minutes, which the rescue advised due to her history. When they haven't had the greatest life so far and they finally get their family, of course they don't want to be left alone! 4 hours is a lot for a poor little chap who isn't bonded with you and doesn't trust you yet, he has no idea if you're coming back or not.

We started with 10 minutes, then 20 and so on, and built up really gradually. Having her has literally been life changing, we take it in turns to WFH (both quite lucky with this thank goodness) and use day care as we need to. We have a fabulous lady locally who only charges £15 a day so you might get lucky if you search around.

Ours sleeps in the bedroom but that wasn't our intention originally however it soon became clear that she found being left downstairs really distressing. Could yours perhaps sleep on the landing so he can at least see you?

We got a greyhound 6 weeks ago so I'm in a bit of the same boat as you! Was yours trained for racing? Ours is nearly 2 and was not cut out for racing so we homed her. If yours was raced he'll be used to wearing a muzzle, ours is and it calms her a bit and she's muzzled overnight and when I'm out. We have a cat and I'm on mat leave with a 6 month old baby and a 4 year old too but luckily it's going very well for us. DH slept in the living room with her for the first 3 or 4 nights, she got quite stressed when we were going to bed so he slept on the sofa and directed her back to her bed with a bit of reassurance if she was pottering about. She can't sleep in with us because of the baby, I didn't (and still don't!) trust her not to jump in the bed in the night. I think knowing he was there reassured her and she's fine now. We have gates up rather than closing doors, for some reason if a door was closed she would be far more stressed, I think being able to see and smell that everything is still there helps her. She's allowed on the sofa in the evenings once I put her blanket over it, she picked that up really quickly and while we're still up of an evening we call her into the garden for a wee then settle her back on the sofa for 10 mins or so before sloping off to bed- if we take her out as we're getting everything ready she knows so she won't settle until we're gone.
Can you take some time off work? I knew a greyhound was the dog I wanted- I waited until mat leave because all the research I did suggested that they would need someone around until they were settled in- it's worked quite quickly for us but I did build up to leaving her alone, nothing for 5 or so days then school run for 10 mins for 3-4 days then popped to the shop for 15 mins after her big walk for a week then an hour or so. She is quite anxious when I leave but she cries for a minute or so then goes on her bed or mine (! Which I don't let her on when I'm in and she vacates very quickly when she hears me returning ) and I know what she does because once DH let himself in before I left and waited in the bathroom to see if she was whining or upset and once he let himself into the garden to listen out. She's latched onto me more than anyone else and follows me about whenever she can but again if she's gated off she watches for a minute then calms down, if I shut a door she did pee a few times. I think all this really helped her, she didn't really like being alone at all at first but she's fine now, think about it as they've never really been left alone before- there mightn't have been humans about all the time in kennels but they were never alone. I hope you can get past this bit, we've had a few rocky moments and still have the odd little niggle but ours is so so lovely and I'd never be without her now. My old dog who died last year was a SBT rescue but a greyhound is completely different, they are very sensitive little souls who are really quite unique!

We had some success with a 'thunder shirt' (money back guarantee).

It just seemed to help our beagle relax a little. Sensory input akin to a cuddle I think?