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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

5 month old and Dummy!! Help

26 replies

Adviceneeded13 · 23/05/2018 15:47

Hi all
I’m posting here for traffic as I need advice!!
I’m a FTM to a 5 month old daughter and she sleeps through the night 7pm-6.30am. Sound good right?! Except... she wakes several times a night for her dummy to be reinstated 😱. I’m so sleep deprived and don’t know what to do! I haven’t tried letting her cry it out as I just don’t think I can bare it. Is it just a phase and one night she will just sleep completely through?! I have no idea. Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do??

TIA

OP posts:

Pickleypickles · 23/05/2018 16:03

My DD used to do this (she is 15 months now) when she got to about 8 months she could find her dummy and put it in herself but i do have to put about 5 in her cot or she cant find them. I still have to get up but only twice a nightish on average and literally go in insert dummy and leave so out of bed for less than a minute.
No practical solutions other than 1000000 dummies in the cot though sorry.

GunpowderAndLead · 23/05/2018 16:17

Yes lots of dummies scattered and / or a dummy strap. My DCS would grope about for the strap in their sleep and shove it back in. It was very sweet to watch. I recommend the tommee tippee ones not the beaded ones individuals make

Purplestorm83 · 23/05/2018 16:19

Yep, lots of dummies in the cot, all around her head and arms 😄 with my daughter, if I saw that she had spat out her dummy but was still asleep, I used to gently put it back in her hand so she could easily find it.

InDubiousBattle · 23/05/2018 16:20

Lots of dummies in the cot (glow in the dark ones). There are these things you can buy like flannels with tabs on them you can velcro dummies to, to make them easier to find. Practice with her putting her dummy in, hand it to her, show her how to put it in.

Zillcat · 23/05/2018 16:21

Following...
One of my 4 month old twins does this at 3am every night. The other doesn't fall asleep with his dummy and goes until 5am but the other will go another two hours if he gets his dummy in!

InDubiousBattle · 23/05/2018 16:24

Google, Sleepytot Bunny comforter and pacifyer holder. A muslin wit due is tied to each corner would probably work as well.

Original poster

Adviceneeded13 · 23/05/2018 16:39

Thanks so much for your replies!!!! So no one thinks I should try and ditch it?!

OP posts:

shoelaces · 23/05/2018 16:46

We ditched the dummy at 6months. DH struggled for a few days but he was fine after that. DS was just fine and didn't really notice it had gone. I've seen other friends struggle with 3/4/5 yr olds tying to get rid of dummy, wondering why their child has speech delay etc.

I am so glad I did it sooner. I often see a girl in the playground having her last suck of the dummy before going in to school.

Maybe plan what you want to achieve with using a dummy and then what you want to achieve by ditching the dummy.

mrsFruitLoops · 23/05/2018 16:50

We ditched at 2 yrs..with both dc. I cut the teats and told them they were broken and they were fine....and no speech delays.

If your child needs a dummy then I suggest lots of dummies. I fastened one to her fave snuggle toy so she had something bigger to grab hold of in the night. But pots of dummies....all over the cot will help.

15star · 23/05/2018 16:53

I would say ditch it. Sounds mad putting tons of dummys in the cot and a strap sounds dangerous. It's probably easier to be rid of it now than a year or so down the line

jaseyraex · 23/05/2018 16:57

I had this at five months too. I was up every half hour for three nights in a row and completely lost the will to live. He didn't grasp finding it himself at that age and I didn't know how much more I could take! I ended up just ditching the dummy completely and it was the best thing I did, I binned them all so we weren't tempted to give him one. The first night took a lot of rocking and a lot of patience. But after that it was like he never had the dummy to begin with. He had a little comforter blanket too (which he still has now at nearly 3) and I think it helped that he still had something for comfort.
It's a totally personal choice as they will obviously be able to put the dummy back in on their own at some point. It's just up to you if you can handle getting up and down until then. For me now, I'm glad I got rid sooner rather than later as I have friends really struggling to get their almost school aged children to give up the dummy.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 23/05/2018 17:07

Yes - teddy in each corner and dummy between its legs.

Original poster

Adviceneeded13 · 23/05/2018 17:17

Thank you for all your advice. I really do appreciate it. She doesn’t use the dummy for comfort in the day at all ... it’s just at night ... to get her off to sleep but then obviously she wakes for it through the night. My instinct is to ditch it but I’ve tried to let her cry but lasted all of 2 minutes😂🙈. Those of you who did keep the dummy with lots scattered ... did it work? Also... is it normal for a baby to wake several times a night anyway? Some of my other friends children are sleeping without waking for 12 hours 😱

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/05/2018 17:24

ditch the dummy, it will take a few days

far easier to do at 5mths then 2/3yrs

and means you will get a full nights sleep quicker

dummies are fine as long as not causing you any grief,once they do (ie getting out of bed all thetime) then get rid

Original poster

Adviceneeded13 · 23/05/2018 17:36

I can’t help thinking though that by ditching the dummy I’m going to make things worse .... e.g have a baby crying all night 🙈🙈. At least now she settles with it ... it’s just the constant putting it back in

OP posts:

InDubiousBattle · 23/05/2018 18:29

Night wakings are perfectly normal at 5 months, I would think sleeping for 12 hours straight is very unusual. I suppose ditching the dummy is just a judgement call for you. I'm a big fan of dummies and putting several in the cot worked for us, ds could certainly locate and re insert a dummy by 6 months ish. Dummies used properly (ie only for sleeping and not at all during awake times)don't cause speech delay. Ds simply gave his up at around 3 ish.

widgetbeana · 23/05/2018 21:26

Honestly. At 5 months lots of baby's wake at least once. You have a guaranteed method to help her back to sleep, my gut reaction is don't break that!
She only has her dummy to sleep, so isn't affecting speech etc. I would go with 3 dummies in the cot, we put those air wrap bumpers around the cot as our dd kept sticking her arms out and getting them stuck, but is also helped keep the dummies in!
When she gets older you can remove the dummy without too much trouble, a few hard days with a child you can speak too and give a present from the dummy fairy is easier than trying to explain to a 5 month old!

Original poster

Adviceneeded13 · 23/05/2018 21:46

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply! I can’t work out if she’s waking just because and therefore wants the dummy to get back off or whether we’ve “created our own monster” and she’s waking because the dummy has slipped out. I guess I’m just waiting for that miracle night where we don’t hear from her. She’s also in with us still so I’m sure we must disturb her! But scared to put her in her own room ... because then we will literally have to get up to put the dummy back in 🙈

OP posts:

Bumdishcloths · 23/05/2018 21:56

Could she not be waking due to hunger at that age?

Nunya · 23/05/2018 22:32

That's what I was thinking, Bumdishcloths
At five months I would expect her to wake up cause she is hungry or needs a diaper change. How old are your friend's kids who are sleeping 12 hours straight through the night, OP?

Merryoldgoat · 23/05/2018 22:42

I’d ditch it. Can you try settling her with it and taking it out once she’s asleep? It might take a few goes and a few nights.

My DS is 3 months and sometimes has a dummy to settle but we take it out when we put him down. It might take some time but if you’re sleep deprived now, what’s the difference?

You don’t need to leave your baby crying. Comfort as much as you can, rock, bounce etc. but the habit will get broken soon.

balalalala · 23/05/2018 22:45

We bought a sleepy tot off amazon. Best thing we bought! Although now we should probably be getting rid and I can't bear to do so as dd loves it so much. We tried dummies around the bed first but it didn't work for us.

Original poster

Adviceneeded13 · 24/05/2018 08:15

We do take it out after she’s settled but she still asks for it during the night. I don’t think it’s hunger because she would let me know if she wanted food!!!! She doesn’t cry for food .. she stirs, crys, we pop dummy in and then she settles.... until the next time she needs it 🙈. I think my choices are to try and ditch it (but then we might end up just rocking her to sleep) or keep persevering until she can find the dummy herself 😬. I will look into the dummy holders. My friends baby’s are the same age!

OP posts:

repairandprotect · 24/05/2018 08:21

It's totally normal for a 5 months old to wake several times at night!
Lots of ppl tell porkies about their baby's sleep! Ignore, ignore, ignore.
We got rid of the dummy at 6 months. Mine mainly had it for daytime naps. It was hard for a few days but I'm glad I did it then.

ADuckNamedSplash · 24/05/2018 20:51

Been there and understand your frustration! But if you do go for ditching the dummy, try to hold off until she's 6 months - before this age, weaning off a dummy is believed to increase the risk of SIDS.

The scatter approach didn't work for us - DD moved around too much in her cot and would send them all flying through the bars of the cot. So not only were we waking constantly to replace them, we were also scrabbling around on the floor in the dark trying to find them! We ended up ditching them altogether when she was 7 months. The first nap was pretty tough, but each one got easier and after a couple of days, she was fine without them.

Glad we did it when we did, as I think it would have been harder the older she got. However, I wouldn't say that it's really improved her waking at night - I thought she would start sleeping through, since losing the dummy seemed to be the only reason she woke up, but she still stirs several times a night anyway (sometimes she can settle herself back to sleep, sometimes she needs a little help).

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