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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A sleepover where there is no bedtime?

4 replies

EvaTheOptimist · 23/05/2018 13:56

DD aged 12 (year 7) wants a "sleepover where there is no bedtime".

Previously I always ensure that kids sleeping over DO go to bed/sleep, AND I make sure they don't go to bed with their phones/tablets.

Because...

  • I am "parenting" my kids and the visiting kids, they need some sleep even if its 1am
  • Usually there are some of the kids who really do want to go to sleep
  • I've heard about sleepovers at friend's houses where devices are not supervised, where this has led to 1) online bullying of classmates in the middle of the night 2) prank calls 3) watching unsuitable things on the internet.

DD hasn't hosted a sleepover since her 11th birthday (start of year 6) (most attendees were 10) where I made sure they went to bed, without their phones. She thinks this was embarrassing. She now goes to lots of sleepovers at other houses where they are left to their own devices whether they actually go to bed or not, and they are left with their phones all through the night. She wants the same. It doesn't fit with my idea of parental responsibility.

DS is younger, 10, I've just hosted his first mass sleepover (attendees aged 9-11) where again I supervised an "actually going to bed and to sleep" mainly because just over half the boys present were desperate to sleep. (They didn't have phones in the same way as the girls - they're all about the xbox!)

So what about DD's request? Am I being unreasonable to say no to a sleepover where there is no bedtime?

Maybe for me it is about the unsupervised phones/internet. They can knock themselves out without sleep as long as they hand their phones over when I go to bed myself! (DD would not like this idea though)

OP posts:
ShowMeTheElf · 23/05/2018 14:02

My youngest is 13 now. We have 'all nighter' sleepovers which actually means that we turn off the internet when I go to bed so they can't download anything on their phones (all have not enough data!) and provide a small/DVD and a few romcon type DVDs. They have to keep the volume low so I can go to sleep
By the time DH comes to bed about 30 mins later they have usually turned out the light themselves. When bored teens can be self-regulating.

Sirzy · 23/05/2018 14:06

Why do they need the phones though? I would have a set time where all phones and tablets are out of the room but not force the sleep side.

Give them some dvds/ games etc If they want them

Glumglowworm · 23/05/2018 14:09

A compromise of no bedtime but phones go in your room at a set time and won’t come out til morning (since it’s not just downloads that can cause problems). I would also stipulate that other people in the house need to sleep and screaming at 3am type behaviour will not be tolerated

EvaTheOptimist · 23/05/2018 14:23

The idea of turning off the internet is a good one!

OP posts:
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