I'm probably more annoyed than i should be but today i walked into a conversation my sister was having with my cousin. Basically long story short my fiance died suddenly when my kids were 3 years old and 6 months old which was April 2016. My sister wouldnt really babysit them when they were awake but occasionally she would sit in the living room after i put them to bed so i could go out. As she got more confident she babysat maybe once a month (doesnt anymore as youngest is now at playgroup which gives me a couple of hours to myself) and looked after them when I went to the gym once a week for an hour (not anymore as i can go when they're both a playgroup/school). I appreciate all of this and I don't need her to babysit more than this. Occasionally I have asked for a lift somewhere as I don't drive. Because of the lifts and sitting with them for an hour while I go to the gym my cousin and sister said she is basically helping to bring them up??? This is totally insane to me. I do see my sister 3 or 4 times a week for coffees etc but I'm there with the kids so she doesnt need to look after them shes spending time with them. She has no say whatsoever in anything they do and makes no decisions about how they're brought up. I have done everything for my kids. I have done every hospital appointment, doctors, dentists. I'm helping my 5 year old learn how to read and write not them. I'm helping my 2 year old with her speech delay and hearing problems and going to all her appointments not them. I look after them 99% of the time. Surely a bit of babysitting here and there and lifts places does not constitute as helping to bring them up? It means she is their aunty! AIBU feeling this way? I'm grateful for the lifts and stuff but usually the lifts are actually popping to the shop when we've been out somewhere already with her. Just made me feel a little worthless. It's hard work being a single mum and they are very energetic kids and I've powered through the best I can and I feel that I have been doing a good job. Every night I'm exhausted from it all and she is saying she's helping to bring them up.
Sorry it's so long!