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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a bit more from nearly 6mo?

27 replies

evergreen7 · 22/05/2018 21:14

Sleep wise I'm a bit shattered.

DS is EBF.
We've been through the 4month regression where he was up every 45mins sometimes.
He's teething which might be a cause ATM but I don't really know what to expect anymore.

He has a nap around 10am never more than an hour usually less, up to now used to have another around 12-1ish for about 1-2hours (but seems to have dropped it over the last couple of days) and then another little nap about 3.30pm for about 30-40mins.

So last nap never finishes later than 4.30pm usually more like 3.30-4.
He goes to bed at 7 and is usually up for a feed about 9.45pm then another about 2hrs later and then is on and off - between 12am - 4.30am he can be up 4/5 times not always wanting a feed.
Occasionally he wakes up fully between 4-5.30am and laughs at me like he finds my zombie face the funniest thing ever and then goes back to bed until about 7.30/8am.

I can't remember last time I got more than 2 hours undisturbed sleep Sad

AIBU to feel that he should be able to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time?

OP posts:
Dreamingofkfc · 22/05/2018 21:21

Both of mine were like this for about the first 15 months....so yeah I would say you are. R u breastfeeding?

Meepmoop · 22/05/2018 21:28

I have a rubbish sleeper to, DS was the same at 6 months I counted 2-3 hours as a luxury. It's slowly getting better and he will usually do a 4hour stretch amongst his wake ups. He's 10 months old now. I've found his naps are also starting to get better and he will sleep for longer periods.
I really believe sleep is a developmental thing, they're either a sleeper or they're not. I haven't really done anything to get these difference it's just been a matter of time

KeepYourFriendsClose · 22/05/2018 21:33

Do you use the wonder weeks app? I love it, it assures me my baby isn't broken and at certain stages teaches me what to expect and what to do to cope.

You also probably think I'm an idiot but my baby (8mo) has slept through twice. One of those times I woke up and basically busied myself for an hour every couple of hours 'waiting' for baby to awaken - obviously my body was on auto pilot and used to waking so often. The second time I woke up and thought baby (or I) must be dead, then I felt like a heart attack had come on as I grappled the baby monitor for signs of life!!

They're only tiny and dependant for such a short time, it's exhausting but I try to remember that, and enjoy it (even if I feel I'm a ghost of my old self) I smile when I reach the cot and every time baby looks at me so I know I've done everything I can to make baby feel wanted - no matter of the time (or frequency!). Good luck and maybe invest in some good coffee (and maybe some gin too).

jaseyraex · 22/05/2018 21:38

Its not what you want to hear, but some really just aren't great sleepers. You should find he'll have longer stretches of sleep as he gets older. You could try some method of sleep training but it's not for everyone.
I've got an almost 3 year old who was just a non sleeper for about two years. I got two hours at the most until he was about eight months old. Then I got 3-4 until he was a year old. He'd have two hour long naps during the day then and wake up twice in the night. But he also woke for the day at 4 in the morning for months on end. He was almost two when he started sleeping until 6am, dropped his morning nap and had a two hour nap in the afternoon. Hes 3 next month and sleeps 7.30 until 6am on a good day, 7am on a really good day, still has a two hour nap in the afternoon after nursery too.
There's light at the end of the tunnel, it just might be a very long tunnel! Make sure you're getting enough help and support and taking turns with your partner whenever baby stops breastfeeding. Even consider expressing for night feeds if it means you'll get a break.

PleaseAndThanks · 22/05/2018 21:43

I did CC at 6.5 months and it transformed our quality of life within days. It is hard but luckily my dd took to it nearly immeadiately and is so much happier for it. Maybe have a read and see if you think it’s for you or not.

pastabest · 22/05/2018 21:43

the more sleep he gets during the day the better he will probably sleep at night so don't be tempted to try and reduce naps or anything like that.

My DD didn't sleep through the night ever until she was about 8 months old, and even then she only did it once or twice a week until she was about 13 months old.

At 16 months old she is now an absolute star sleeper and sleeps 7pm - 7am most nights unless she is teething. She also still has two x 1.5 hour naps during the day.

Things that I think helped:

Weaning- there was definitely a correlation at 13 mo between her eating 3 square meals a day and sleeping better. Not an instant solution though I'm afraid.

A good stable bedtime routine- milk, bath, in the night garden, story then bed every night without fail. She still has the same routine at 16mo now apart from she has dropped the milk.

Moving into her own room- again we didn't do this until about 13 mo but the effect on her sleep was almost immediate. DP is a noisy sleeper and she was definitely being disturbed by him.

Time- they just need to grow up and grow out of it. Not much you can do about that I'm afraid!

Halebeke425 · 22/05/2018 21:46

This doesn't sound unusual at all, that sleep deprivation is a nightmare right! Got the same issue.

The only thing I will say is that things change a lot (in my experience) with babies so the routine you describe may stay that way for a few weeks and then it changes to something else and so on. Different variables will have an effect at random points along the way like weaning, teething, growth spurts, becoming mobile, etc.

It doesn't last forever and eventually your child will settle into a decent sleeping habit, just stay consistent with their routine and don't be afraid to ask for more support if you need to as the lack of decent sleep does really get to you, I totally understand I'm experiencing the same with child number three. This whole baby sleeping through the night competition thing that mums do is really unhelpful, it's not natural to expect a young baby to just sleep through, hell I don't even sleep through without needing a wee/drink/too hot/cold! My eldest did sleep well quite young but that was unusual. They're all different.

Amanduh · 22/05/2018 21:51

My DS is a great sleeper and has (mostly) always been. The 6mo stage was hell for about 5 weeks of teething, development, a couple of weeks of boiling hot weather.. then he went back to his 7-7. In the midst of it with 2hourly wakeups and crap naps it felt like torture. I know it’s ridiculous because he’s slept through apart from those weeks since he was tiny and is still doing it at 16 months but those weeks felt awful at the time! Entirely normal OP

babasaclover · 22/05/2018 22:01

Honestly - switch to bottles - they had got the best out of breast feeding nutrition wise so now it's just comfort. It will help no end. It is a game changer. Good luck, the sleep thing it total killer - especially when they are being cute and laughing!

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 22/05/2018 22:09

I could have written this! My baby is almost 6 months. I'd say an average night for us is 7 wake ups. She seems to have developes a habit of needing to breastfeed to sleep. My husband has been trying to rock her to sleep instead this week which works...for 20 - 30 min then she is up again.

Fortunately I have family that have been helping out in the day so I can catch up on sleep...but even so it's pretty awful isn't it!? I find it as difficult mentally as physically as dread the nights. We have tried literally everything we can think of including a sleep consultant. I think I've just accepted it's going to be rubbish for a while.

The positives are - we have done 6 months, and survived!! Hopefully it will get better from here especially in another few months when they are old enough to cut out night feeds completely - am really hoping it will help.

Sorry to hijack this thread but would really like to hear more stories from people who had awful sleepers at this age who then turned into great sleepers!...

Hang in there OP lots of other people are going through the same thing

And no not unresonable to just want the odd longer stretch of sleep to start feeling a bit human again! I think people who say yabu have not had a really awful sleeper or have forgotten how awful no sleep can make you feel - disorientated, faint, cranky, anxious etc

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 22/05/2018 22:11

Ps baby won't take a bottle Angry

Alienspaceship · 22/05/2018 22:16

Op, looking at you from my position - I’d say you were incredibly lucky. At that age mine slept 3/4am - 9am (waking up twice in this time for feeding). And slept at no.other.time. Ever. Hell on Earth.
I’m
Not sure if that helps but my point is, it could be worse.

Bearhunter09 · 22/05/2018 22:20

My ds was 4years old before he sttn. Came to conclusion you either have a sleeper or you don’t. Over the years we tried everything - he’s a strong willed bugger. We learned you have to stop comparing -you have what you have find ways to work with it eg co sleeping, mattress on nursery floor taking turns at lie ins at weekend etc good luck

Bearhunter09 · 22/05/2018 22:23

Oh and now DS is 6 he’s a bloody fantastic sleeper! Asks to go to bed won’t get up in morning not a peep all night so it will pass

Bambamber · 22/05/2018 22:25

My DD woke hourly until she was about 8 months. She got worse when we started weaning. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Now at 13 months she will sleep 12 hours at night waking for 2 feeds which last about 5 mins and she goes straight back to sleep. Didn't do any sleep training, She just fell into her own routine

Original poster
evergreen7 · 23/05/2018 08:32

Thanks for the replies!

So last night he went to bed at 7pm, woke up for feed at 10pm, another feed at 12ish then woke up at 2.45am and partied, gurgled, cried and flopped about wide awake until 4.45... Then slept until 7am.

I was completely wide awake from 3am BrewBrewBrewBrew

OP posts:
Halebeke425 · 23/05/2018 12:42

Also don't listen to any rubbish about stopping breastfeeding being the solution, I stopped with my son about six months and it made not a bit of difference to his sleep, he was about 3 when he started sleeping through! There are lots of benefits to keeping breastfeeding if you want to and you should stop whenever you and baby are happy to but don't expect sleep miracles from it!

moita · 23/05/2018 12:46

Sleep deprivation is awful but my ds was the same. Only really started sleeping through at 14 months (sorry).

IJustLostTheGame · 23/05/2018 12:48

FlowersFlowersCakeBrewFlowers
Some babies are shit sleepers. Mine was. I didn't get more than an hour's sleep at a time for 14 months.
But this DOES pass.
Mine too would not take a bottle.
What helped in the end was waiting until all the sleep regressions had passed and then doing a variation on controlled crying and the pick up put down one.
It took three nights for her to sleep through.
Keep dosing with Calpol and ibuprofen as teething is a bugger and fuddle along as best you can.
Mine wouldn't nap either at all really unless being pushed in the pram.
Flowers again. I've been there and it was hell.

LapinR0se · 23/05/2018 12:51

Mine is 24 weeks old tomorrow and sleeps 7-7 with 3 naps a day.
I am rigid with routines and taught her to self settle though. I did it with absolutely no crying but I know it’s not for everyone.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 23/05/2018 12:57

That does sound full-on, but at least he naps a lot.

If he's not always wanting a feed at night, can your partner do those wake ups, so you're getting a bit of sleep?

Cornettoninja · 23/05/2018 13:00

Are you opposed to offering (ideally your dp to start off with for a couple of weeks) a bottle at night? Didn't work for me but I've heard varying rates of success.

Some babies just need the interaction and prefer to torture us. They love us so much they don't understand why we wouldn't want to say hello at intervals through the night....

It gets better I promise. You could try pushing through his morning nap and getting it down to two good ones a day, but again my dd was utterly resistant to anything I tried to implement but got there naturally on her own so ymmv.

minipie · 23/05/2018 13:08

A few suggestions that may help

  1. Weaning (ie food) - though not too quickly or he may get tummy issues

  2. Cut out the third nap and try to push the other two back a bit

  3. Work on self settling either by gentle but slow methods (gradual retreat, no cry sleep solution) or quick but tough methods (controlled crying)

3 is really the key tbh but also the hardest especially for a baby who is used to being fed to sleep.

Suresurelah · 23/05/2018 13:11

I have a seven month old, who won’t nap for more than thirty mins and is up at least twice at night!

It’s defo a development leap....eating, beginning to crawl/sit so lots of new things to process.

Raver84 · 23/05/2018 13:11

Are you in the same room as I thibk whenever I'm in with mine he knows and wakes more.

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