To think there's absolutely no reason for FIL to be spending the day topless in my back garden

[CarriedAwaay]

Just that really.

I live in the south of England and my inlaws are visiting. As the sun's out, FIL has seen fit to spend the day in my back garden with his top off.

It's making me feel physically sick and I feel for my poor neighbours whose gardens look in on mine

AIBU, or should FIL put it away? 🤢😷

@WittyJack

I'd kill for that to be a Jim line.

What is it you object to - his front (including man nipples) or his back (including - um - back hair? a couple of moles?)

Many men these days feel it is Ok to take off your top while sunbathing - and many people don't bat an eyelid when they see them.

YANBU. Your house, your rules.

It is your house so your rules. As long as it applies to everyone.

You say it isn't about looks but I've just read your OP again and it certainly sounds like it's about how he looks: 'should FIL put it away, feel sorry for poor neighbour whose garden looks onto mine'.

Just bear in mind that he's your FIL, which would indicate that he's your DH father, which means that one day your DH might bear a strong resemblance to him when he's the same age.

Are you going to then insist that your DH keeps himself permanently covered up so you don't have to look at his nasty body.

He's sunbathing in the garden, if he were walking down the street that would be a different thing.

I agree its weird to sunbathe in someone elses garden - particularly when they arent there doing the same .
But I think you are a tiny bit U for being annoyed with him. He does sound like hard work but I bet hes the type of man who treats wherever he is as his own castle and lets everyone else sort themselves out. Im a wee bit envious of that approach I think.

As I said, on reflection, I think it's bothering me because I find him pervy. He constantly makes pervy jokes and points out other woman's bodies to DH. Like I said, he used to get undressed (shirt, tie and belt) when he'd come in from work when I was just going out with now DH. It used to really gross me out! I think that's why it's getting to me.

Yuck that update made me feel sick!

Wtf is he doing stripping off in your lounge? Why can't you tell him to naff off in the first place, does he live with you?

In fairness, that was in his lounge when I'd visit.

Storminateapot Knob out I'd see your problem. Now, that really would give me the willies.

That’s really mean. He doesn’t have his willy out, stop being such a prude

This will out me if my friend's reading this, but she's Australian and her dad was over in winter, it had snowed quite heavily. He stripped down to his pants and posed with a can of Foster's in the garden. Actually, he didn't look bad... 😂

Drip, drip, drop, little April showers...

YABU. I might be if you said MIL was sunbathing topless in the garden but honestly, who cares? It’s just a torso.

My FIL came on monday, cleaned my bathroom and hoovered my downstairs. He then stayed for dinner. All done topless - I'm not keen but I'm not about to turn down the help.

Sounds like it's more his personality and behaviour which is unsettling you but just gardening or sunbathing without a shirt in a private garden? Nothing inherently wrong with that. My grandfather used to parade around in underpants and a silk dressing gown any time of the year, he was fabulous just uninhibited. I don't think sunning yourself with your top off would have raised any eyebrows. Maybe more if it was your MIL.

Sorry, confused. Put what away?
Diagram please.

Yanbu. I hate seeing shirtless men. It's inappropriate.

I realise this was a massive drip feed but I genuinely only figured out why it was repulsing me so much after I posted. Otherwise, I'd have put all the info in my OP.

YANBU. It’s uncouth.

Well now that you have reflected you can post something about how you feel about your fil. His sunbathing is perfectly fine and the neighbours don’t need your sympathy.

Agreed BackToTheFuschia7, is he working class or a labourer of some sort? They are into this sort of thing but you might have to tolerate it for now and just avoid inviting them around again.

I will say this only once. Men are never topless because they don't wear tops! Men are shirtless or bare chested.