NC for this as some of the details are pretty specific.
DH and I came into some money about five years ago. We took the decision to give some money to our nieces and nephews, and created trusts for BIL’s three daughters and for my sister’s son. The children will be able to access the funds when they are 18. At the time, both families were complete but we have always intended that if either sibling were to have another child, we would do the same for them.
About 12 months later, BIL’s wife left him for the OM after an affair. They have, to their credit, both behaved pretty decently about the divorce and subsequent implications and everything is pretty amicable. They share custody and we still see BIL’s exW a few times a year at family events, usually her children’s birthday celebrations.
BIL’s exW is now expecting a child with her new DP, who will of course be a half sibling to our nieces. At the most recent family event she came over to sit with DH and me and after some small talk asked us about our plans to create a trust for her unborn child. We were both a bit stunned but DH managed to gather himself to explain that it wasn’t our intention to create a trust for her child with her new partner. She accused us of using her unborn child to punish her for cheating on and leaving BIL and stormed off.
DH is absolutely adamant that his loyalty is to his brother, not to his exW and any further children that she may have, and I am inclined to agree with him. Are we BU not to match our previous gifts for this or any other children that she may have?