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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ok, so I know the wedding was three days ago and I should really move on but...

49 replies

HerMajestysSecret · 22/05/2018 10:01

I can't stop wondering how it must feel to be Lord Freddie's Windsor or Lady Helen Taylor and be watching Harry's wedding on tv (Harry who you grew up with at Kensington Palace in the case of Freddie) and see David's Beckham chewing gum at your cousin's wedding (second, once removed, but still!) and you're not invited!!!

George bloody Clooney, Oprah Winfrey - right up in the inner sanctum with the royals and you're not invited!

Even to be the first cousins on Diana's side and be sitting back in the cheap seats while George Clooney (who surely isn't a close friend of either of H or M) hams it up at the front? Oprah Winfrey who I feel pretty confident Harry hasn't never met takes precedence over these people?

I'd love to know who drew up the seating plan and what the discussions were that led to these bizarre placements.

On a side note, I'm not the only one who saw DB chewing gum in the chapel am I?

OP posts:

Buglife · 22/05/2018 10:49

I have 22 first cousins, non of them were at my wedding. My immediate family were but otherwise it was friends. It wasn’t a big wedding though. Of course they wouldn’t have put George Clooney up front just because he’s George Clooney... I always wonder why people get so stroppy about celebrities having celebrity friends like is some kind of show off fake friendship... they meet through work or events and become friends, like most people. No one kicks off because a teacher has a wedding and half the people there are teacher friends.

Original poster

HerMajestysSecret · 22/05/2018 10:58

Whose to say who is right?! We can't all be. So maybe we should just accept that it was up to the couple who they invited and leave it at that, eh?

I'd quite like to chat about it actually, if that's ok with you. You don't need to join in if it's beneath you.

OP posts:

SandyY2K · 22/05/2018 11:00

They couldn't squeeze a few royal cousins in quietly at the back?

Why isn't 'they didn't want them there' a good enough reason.

MrsJayy · 22/05/2018 11:09

*Joss stone was worse!!

No it was Tom Hardy he looked like a giant baby chewing yoghurt he gave me the rage.

anyway they invited people they wanted to I guess they wanted friends or people they worked with there above 2nd cousins, I was confused why James cordon was invited.

lostinsunshine · 22/05/2018 11:10

I also have a gazillion first cousins that I didn't invite to my wedding, op. You could start a thread about that too.

MrsJayy · 22/05/2018 11:12

I have 27 first cousins just on one side of the family they were not all invited to my wedding as I am not close to some of them.

HappyLollipop · 22/05/2018 11:17

They are second cousins, they probably don't even talk and we don't know
but Harry might even talk to the beckhams more then them! Why should Harry have to extend invites to people he has no real connection to just by virtue of being related, I respect him for it more actually.

Willow2017 · 22/05/2018 11:19

Why should they invite people just on your say so?

Bride and groom have sides allocated usually and as Meghan knows these people as friends why should they be relegated elsewhere for royals whom she has prob never met? Its her wedding too. Just cos her friends are celebs doesnt mean they are not important to her. Should she have had her side full of Harry's relatives unstead?

It was a much smaller venue than usual so they couldn't invite every relative even if they wanted to if they wanted friends there too.

Some people do like to police everyone elses lives!

MrsJayy · 22/05/2018 11:24

People crawled out of the woodwork to moan Meghan hadn't invited them I just thought if you are the type to bitch and moan I wouldn't want you at my wedding either

TragicallyUnbeyachted · 22/05/2018 11:27

So your argument is basically "how dare they invite friends of the bride rather than the groom's second cousins once removed"?

You've come up with [edit: ah, after a quick Google I see the Daily Mail originally came up with] this lovely romantic tale of Harry and Freddie being raised together and essentially like brothers in all but name, torn apart by the machinations of the Hollywood elite, etc., but Freddie is five years older than Harry and was mostly away at boarding school. Harry didn't go to Freddie's wedding, and nor did Charles, Camilla or William.

GalwayWayfarer · 22/05/2018 11:28

I'd quite like to chat about it actually, if that's ok with you. You don't need to join in if it's beneath you.

Get off your high horse. If you wanted a chat where nobody would disagree with you you should have raised somewhere other than AIBU. As it is you posted it here, which means it's entirely legitimate for me to say YABU because you don't know the reasons why anyone was or wasn't invited and therefore aren't in a position to criticise.

PrimalLass · 22/05/2018 11:30

I did think it was a bit shit to not invite Teresa May, regardless of my opinions about her government.

HateSummer · 22/05/2018 11:32

Ugh, I didn’t know why Elton flipping John was there. I really dislike this man, with his podgy piano fingers 🤮.

crunchymint · 22/05/2018 11:33

Personally I would always invite friends over family members I don't like or am not close to.

SandyY2K · 22/05/2018 11:34

So your argument is basically "how dare they invite friends of the bride rather than the groom's second cousins once removed"?

That's my understanding of what the OP is saying too.

diddl · 22/05/2018 11:37

"As for Freddie Windsor, if he wants to blame anyone he should blame his mother."

She was there though wasn't she?

MrsJayy · 22/05/2018 11:37

Elton was Dianas Bff (according to Elton) and I think Prince Harry& Prince Willian are involved in his charity he had a face like a smacked arse though David seemed to be having a nicer time,

MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood · 22/05/2018 11:39

In answer to your AIBU yes YABU to be this invested at this point

However in answer to the idea that he "snubbed childhood pals from KP days" which is a Daily Mail narrative anyway...

Harry and William both went out to board by the age of 8, then their parents split and Harry is quoted as saying that time with either parent was rushed and not enough

The Royal Family also tends to summer at Balmoral

Freddie and Gabriella themselves boarded. It's not likely they saw much of each other.

Prince George and Maud Windsor are in the same class at school though so I'm sure the school run has been a tad awkward.

In short I'd wonder if you too would invite your Granny's cousins son to your wedding and if the answer is "no" or "I don't actually really know them" then there you are

HateSummer · 22/05/2018 11:42

Elton was Dianas Bff (according to Elton)...

According to Elton 😂...

MightyMucks · 22/05/2018 11:43

She was diddl which I missed.

Harry and Meghan must be incredibly tolerant and forgiving if she got an invite.

Bluelady · 22/05/2018 11:44

We don't know who they invited or didn't. To quote that old MN chestnut, it's an invitation not a summons. Relatives may well have been invited and declined the invitation.

OrlandaFuriosa · 22/05/2018 12:04

On the uniform thing, I ex post facto rationalised that Wills and Kate was a state do, as he is no 2 in line to the throne, whereas this was not. But I’ve no idea if I’m right. Certainly the PoW’s grey morning suit seemed to say informality to me, as they’re used for weddings or racing and usually the sponge bag and black coat are slightly more formal.

pallisers · 22/05/2018 12:06

news to me that Prince Harry grew up with Freddy Windsor in KP. I didn't realise KP was a commune. thought it was separate different apartments. By that reckoning, you'd have to invite everyone on your street of a somewhat similar age to your wedding - since you "grew up with them in Elm Street"?

I know all my second, third and "once removed" cousins. We have a get together once a year. Wasn't at any of their weddings and they weren't at mine. Several friends who the OP might not judge close enough were though.

SoyDora · 22/05/2018 12:13

I invited friends over first cousins too. Because I like them more, I see them more, I’m closer to them and I couldn’t invite everyone.

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