I know I am being but I'm dreading half term

[Scarfonthestairs]

I know I'm being unreasonable butility I'm absolutely dreading may half term. My husband has one day off in the 11 days.
I have anxiety and depression and am currently going through a crisis (seeing Dr etc but still struggling lots)
My dm and df have my two children two days a week (one after school one all day)
My dd is 2. She still wakes repeatedly in the night and if I'm in the house will only be settled by me.
My ds is 6 he has adhd and spd. He is a wonderful clever boy but has massive meltdowns, becomes manic /hyper. He is constantly on the go from when he wakes up. Saying I don'tplay with him (I do) going on and on about when we will do things (has no concept of time ) hounds us.
I don't drive. I can't because if complete fear I will kill someone /my children.
I am dreading half term. For years and years I wanted children. Went through everything to have them and now I just wish I could have time for myself and not have to look after them for a week.

I understand, I really do. And you sound like you are having a very tough time of things (and tiredness always makes things worse).

Can you afford to book DS into a few holiday clubs (half days maybe) to give yourself a break?

Or plan a train journey to a new park and a change of scene? I used to do this with DS on hard days - it was helpful to fill the days with travel, and make an adventure out of it.

What do you have near to you?

Holiday clubs are your friend here, OP. Can you afford to do something like that?

I sent my 5 year old to activity camp a few times over Easter - it was utterly transforming.

See if there’s one near you.

You should also talk to someone about your fear of driving. Why so anxious?

Thank you so much for all being so nice.
I don't know where my fear of driving comes from. I'm just convinces I'll kill someone
I live in a small town in the Midlands. .I don't know how to find out about clubs. I worry he won't manage with his adhd he gets so clingy if I leave.
I like the idea of train to a park .
I'm sorry I sound so negative

Name change fail

There is no need to be sorry, you sound lovely, and I still feel like you feel some holidays! The days are so, so long and tiring, and even longer when you are on your own. Really, I used to cry some days. My DS would not sit still and do craft etc so there was never any quiet time!

Cut yourself some slack and there is no harm in taking 'easier' options. Does your local leisure centre offer any shorter sessions, 2 hours maybe, with something else on site or nearby (swimming pool, garden centre), that you can take your DD to whilst your DS is at the club? If he likes it, great, if not, try again another time.

I always found getting out of the house for the morning made me feel better, then potter at home in the afternoon (even if it meant a crappy film and den building). Local libraries and garden centres are good, even a bus ride somewhere different.

Do you have any friends in similar situations?

I know what you mean

All I can advise is a planner

Write down the week and plan a treat and an activity every day

Day 1 a great playground
Day 2 movie day
Day 3 a train trip and a picnic
Day 4 a soft play etc

Doesn’t have to cost the earth but make a
Plan and stick to it

And book a GP appt as maybe you need an extra helping hand

Also maybe book a Lego and playing tOys day
Get the house ready and clear the floor

Kids LOVE certainty and planning (esp your DS) and he can contribute ideas

I did that one long week and we had a really nice time in the end

Oh he adores lego yes what a brilliant idea. Dd can play with some (the heads off the figures!) And yes I can empty them onto the floor.
My ds wants to go to the skatepark on his scooter bit it's busy and impossible with dd as well.
My closest friend is on holiday for the week which stresses me out even more
Thank you all again

I understand, when my two were little I found school holidays really hard work. I'm a single Mum and DS1 was similar to yours (he's calmed down a lot as he's got older, so there is hope!).

I survived by putting them in holiday club 1/2 days the give myself a bit of respite, then making plans for the rest of the week. Normally 1 day with my parents, 1 day with friends, at the park or beach or whatever.

Get outside and wear them out as much as you can. Being outside should will help your mental health too, so even if you don't feel like it, try and make yourself go.

Not a fan of school holidays myself either, as a single mum of a 2 and an 8 year old. Thank your lucky stars your school hasn't lumped all its inset days together and declared a 2 week half term this year . They say they're trying to help us get nice cheap holidays, but all the working parents I've spoken to are going around with a Munch-type silent scream kind of expression on their faces right now.

Re: the skate park;- 6 was the age I started letting DS1 go in on his own. It helps that our local skate park is a stone's throw away from a littlie's playground and a cafe, so I could crane my neck every so often to see DS1 whizzing around, with strict instructions to get a big kid to come and find me if he got grievously wounded (he never did) .