How old to play at park unsupervised?

[curiousgeorgie247]

AibOP (am I being over protective) to have said no when dds friend came knocking, asking if she would like to be dropped off at the park by the girls mum and play unsupervised then collected by her mum again?
They're 10 and a half.

I'm not the over protective type. I let the dcs play out with their friends unsupervised on our road. But the park seems like a bit too far for 10 year olds even if they are being dropped off. The park is very big and there's loads of entry points and bits you can't see.

YABU.

Going to the park independently should be a normal activity for a child of her age. And I mean going independently not being driven in a car.

My 10 year old has some of his friends knock and ask him to come out. I let them play near our house, but I wouldn't let them go to the park, which is a similar distance away to yours. I think it is too young.

"Once they go out alone you cant v well say no at 14 when the drinking etc sometimes starts."

Are you saying you wouldn't let your 14yo out alone?

What do you think is going to happen if you let her go?

Chavtastic - do your kids never go anywhere alone then?

Mentioning loads of entry points and bits you can't see is a bit odd IMO. Why does it matter if there are lots of entry points? She's not a toddler that you have to cover all the exits in case she runs away ...

Overprotective. They're not even making their own way there or home.

Age 10 or 11 is typical here and the park is a half hour walk away or 10 min by bus.

I have a very close family and they are either with them or with me. They do many extracurricular activities so outside of that they don't miss out at all.

Frog no I wouldn't except in the above contexts.

I think you may regret that when they either rebel or cannot cope with independence.

Chavtasticbanger,when are your dc going to learn to assess situations for themselves, manage conflict without an adult, make their own unsupervised fun? In short when are they going to gain the skills necessary for independence?

Ikea they do those things at secondary school anyway-it's a social minefield.
If they rebel I will change the tactics somewhat. It works for now.
When I say family they have many cousins the same age. They are all subject to the same rules really.

You say that she's "not streetwise" - perhaps it's time to help her out with that by loosening the strings a bit.

I would. What are the actual dangers you're worried about at that age? They are too old to wander off randomly surely? No traffic issues as not even walking there. What is it that really worries you? That's what I always ask myself with mine...

My year 6 11 year old cycles nearly 2 miles to meet his mates in the park. He has to drop me a text when he gets there and when he starts to head back.

It depends on lots of factors tbh

The park near me is a crime hot spot and local police are warning parents about it so no way would I let my 11 year old go there unsupervised.

It also depends on the child. Some are ready at 10. Some aren’t ready at 13.

Do what you feel is right OP.

Chavtastic I don't think they do learn those things at secondary school. Social skills perhaps, but it's a highly controlled environment. They certainly won't learn the self-reliance they need for independent adulthood unless they practise it. I remember meeting people like that at university and they were having to learn in one fell swoop what most of us had spent 10+ years practising by that point. They put themselves in dangerous situations both through inexperience and also the sudden lack of boundaries. And lack of basic things like traffic awareness! It may work for you now but it's a highly risky strategy imo.

Mine were allowed to the park with friends aged 9. 10 minute walk, quite a big park, usually fairly busy. My biggest worry was that he would fall out of a tree and hurt himself and no-one would notice.
But I realise I'm pretty chilled about these things compared to most parents. My 6 yr old takes himself to school.
Be clear about what you think the risks of your kids going to the park alone are and work on how you can deal with them. Don't just say no, that doesn't help anyone. There's not a sudden magic age when they are fine to be let out on their own.

How far is the park
And we’re do you live it’s all about context

Chavtastic Each to their own but have they not asked to meet mates at mcDs or cinema/shopping?

11/12 is the perfect age to start all this and they develop friendships at second at school.

DD is nearly 10 and I'd love her to go to the park around the corner with a friend, but I can't find anyone for her to go with yet! Have asked one mum I though might be game, but she didn't want to go for it yet. Best friend's parents are extremely anxious, so not even going to try asking them.

She does go there on her own for a jog and a bike ride, as she's preparing for a kids' mini-triathlon and that's an easily time-limited activity.

Some point between 8 and 10 around here, depending on the child.

It depends on way more factors than age. Distance, safety of streets getting there, safety of the park itself in terms of the people who go there, how thick your kid is etc.

No wonder so many kids these days are overweight and unfit...

Yesterday about 5 of DS’ friends called from him after lunch. He took his bike and was off for about 2 hours. He had his phone and there was a big group of them. He is in year 6, but has been doing this for over a year now.

Who is being ‘protected’ by the over-protective parents? It certainly isn’t the kids.