Four years ago my husband set up a business based in our home. He had - initially - a lot of enthusiasm and also some relevant knowledge (eg good acounts skills). But he lacked knowlege of IT and marketing
I had initially been willing to help but hadn't realised how time-consuming it would be. My assumption had also been that he would work to improve his IT and marketing skills - and gradually become more focused.
Instead I think he became less focused. He became interested in one very niche area and started putting in all his energy (plus a lot of money) on that - even though it didn't translate into any sales. I told him I was no longer willing to spend as much time baling him out - and hoped that this would result in him taking a more all-round approach.
The most recent thing - which really feels like the last straw - has related to data-protection regulations. Obviously we've built up a lot of contacts over the last few years, so to lose the right to be able to get in touch with them would just be one more instance of shooting in ourselves with the foot.
I'm quite ill at the moment - just a virus - but nagged him into doing the necessary work. He hadn't actually bothered to update or collect the various contacts so that took him some time. He said it wasn't possible to do a list. I assured him that it was and that he could look up how to do this. He then came in while I was in bed to announce he'd 'lost' the list he'd spent two hours compiling. He'd also drafted a very off-putting sounding formal email to all our contacts which sounded highly discouraging. I rewrote the email and found his 'lost' list.
Unfortunately he'd not bothered to create the right sort of list. He'd created a Microsoft group rather than the relevant email contacts list. So his list couldn't simply be used without a lot of time-consuming cutting and pasting. This is something I did. (Another example of all the IT baling out I've done over the last few years.)
I just feel exhausted and it has really highlighted for me that four years of asking him to take more responsibility and learn new skills so that he can actually run a viable business has fallen on deaf ears.
It has had a very bad effect on our marriage. I've told him this but I suppose I feel that we're at an impasse. I'm quite old and though I've started earning more money than I did when my daughter was at home, it's not really enough to start a new life on my own.
I just don't know what to do about the big gap between us. I'll feel a bit better when I get back to work later this week, and am sufficiently recovered to get on with my own life and projects.
I am sure that I have made many mistakes along the way and also that I'm not the easiest person to live with. But I'd like to feel less hopeless and sad and angry.