In-laws are currently on holiday, PiL, Sil and sil’s dp. PIL booked a 3 bedroom villa and basically said to us they were going and the rest of us were welcome to join if we paid for our flights. DP initially said we would go however a few months ago changed his mind. Reasons for mind change were cost of flights were just not something we can afford and he sufferers quite badly Fromm anxiety especially when on planes and has hit a low point recently (he is getting help for this). I was a little upset about his decision but told him I’d support him regardless.
PIL were upset when told but said they understood. They did offer to pay for our flights but the anxiety was the main reason and DP said no.
About a month ago MIL sent dp a long text basically saying that she wished we were coming and feels the family holiday was ruined and she won’t be able to enjoy it because we weren’t there. DP didn’t tell me about this at the time. She then sent another text the day before they flew out saying essentially the same thing and that he had ‘spoilt’ what would have been a good holiday.
I don’t really know how to support dp with this. He is understandably upset. I understand why PiL would be annoyed that he initially said yes but changed his mind but I feel like once they accepted it they should have moved on. Aibu in thinking my MIL is being quite emotionally manipulative about this? Or is dp being unfair by not going?