To think that divorce is too much of an upheaval

[NeverhaveI]

Too much of an upheaval for my dc that I just have to suck it up and accept my life is a miserable farce.

Please seek some legal advice.

You may need to rent until the house is sorted out.

Where I live one partner can divorce the other after 2 years, even against their wishes.

It really sounds like you need to speak to somebody to understand your options. Nobody should be forced to stay in a marriage they don't want.

Google clips about adjustment and why change is hard.

This is yr lizard brain talking

It is an upheaval, but what made me leave my unhappy marriage was that I did not want my DCs to see that as normal and repeat the pattern in their own lives.

You should go and see a solicitor. There's a website called Wikivorce (think that's what it's called) that I've hear is very helpful.

You'll have to rent somewhere until the divorce and financials are finalised. The house will either have to be sold, or your STBXH will have to get a new mortgage and buy you out of your share. It will be ordered by the court as part of the divorce.
You're unlikely to be able to get a mortgage on another house until your name is off the current one.