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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking my home /laptop off teen

14 replies

InspMorse · 20/05/2018 21:13

AIBU to take phones/laptops off my teens (14 &15) at 9pm?
They can't get up in the morning & every event MH it's a battle to get them to get ready for bed let alone go to sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
InspMorse · 20/05/2018 21:13

event MH = evening

OP posts:
RunMummyRun68 · 20/05/2018 21:14

I do that to my 15 year old

Not sure if it makes a difference as no matter what, morning comes and he's still tired and grumpy!

Original poster
InspMorse · 20/05/2018 21:18

I'm wondering if it's too controlling. If I don't intervene they are still in clothes late into the evening, nothing done to prepare for next day, no shower, no clothes ready for school - nothing.

OP posts:
Original poster
InspMorse · 20/05/2018 21:19

Too controlling for their age I mean.

OP posts:
User467 · 20/05/2018 21:31

You're still their parent, if they can't self regulate then you should. My parents would have done the same. My kids are younger but when they get to the iPad/laptop stage it will definitely be with limitations.

But I would discuss it with them. Tell them there's going to have to be a new rule because of the effect it's having

CalF123 · 21/05/2018 10:20

I think at that age it's really best to encourage self-regulation rather than imposing restrictions.

Original poster
InspMorse · 21/05/2018 17:09

I think at that age it's really best to encourage self-regulation rather than imposing restrictions.

That's the trouble. Self regulation is not working.

OP posts:
BlueJava · 21/05/2018 17:22

Entirely reasonable. I have agreed that from 15 June (last day of GCSE exams for them) they will be able to self-regulate, up until then I take them because they have proved multiple times they cannot get off them! Cue whining, grumps, pleading etc but they know me too well and know there is zero chance of me giving in.

rainbowdashflip · 21/05/2018 17:43

Mumsnet will say take everything off them at 6pm and why do they even have gadgets at their age anyway Grin

I say you sit down and discuss. Teens are not great fans of getting up in the morning regardless of whether they have looked at a screen after 9pm or a book.

lifetothefull · 21/05/2018 17:43

I don't remove them, but I do check dd is getting off them and need to constantly moniter. With reminding she does. If it becomes a problem I will remove it, but at the moment we're ok with rule reminders. (no devices after 9:30).
You are definitely not BU. Young people find it very difficult to regulate this themselves.

Semster · 21/05/2018 17:51

I have to remove them from my 13yo as he cannot self regulate (we've tried). We also remove access to the XBox on days when he was late to school through his own fault.

I don't have to remove them from my 15yo as she is extremely good at self-regulating, but I would do if she was like her younger brother.

I've no idea how late my 17yo is looking at her laptop/phone as she's at boarding school - probably far too late - but her grades are good and at this age it's really up to her.

Original poster
InspMorse · 21/05/2018 21:27

Well, phones and laptops are outside their rooms after 9pm. Glad to hear I'm not alone.

OP posts:
rainbowdashflip · 21/05/2018 21:38

So what are they doing?

teenagerparent · 21/05/2018 22:17

I take my DDs at 10pm, well she puts it on charge downstairs. I don't bother at weekends/holidays it's her own fault if she's tired. After her exams finish in a few weeks I'm going to give her the long holiday until 6th form to try and self regulate, if it doesn't work I'll suggest its charged downstairs again once she goes back to school

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