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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel I've been stood up by friends?

20 replies

DerelictWreck · 20/05/2018 14:19

Genuinely curious as I can't work out if IABU to be annoyed about this.

Some friends of my were running a half marathon today in London, where I live, so text me on Friday to arrange to me for brunch afterwards. They said they didn't want to pin down a time as they weren't sure exactly what time they'd finish the race, obviously, but probably around 11:30. I said not to worry as I only live 20mins from event so just to let me know when.

Just for fun, not for timekeeping purposes, they gave me their tracker numbers so I could see how they were doing on the track. At about 11am I saw that they were all finished or had finished the race so set off to the borough it was in with the intention of doing some shopping to kill the time if they got held up.

It's now gone 2pm and I've given up and come home because I'm bored and hungry. I can see they've been on whatsap but I didn't want to message them earlier as I didn't want to nag them and take away from the real reason they were there.

I know they might be busy with the festivities around the event, but AIBU to be annoyed that they haven't even contacted me to let me know what's happened? They must assume I'm sitting at home and waiting for them.

OP posts:

iloveredwine · 20/05/2018 14:22

Did you message them to say well done and will leave and meet them in the area where the race was?

Theshittyendofthestick · 20/05/2018 14:23

Could you just clarify? You're not at home? How do you know they didn't go to your house and find you weren't there?

Theducksarenotmyfriends · 20/05/2018 14:23

Why don't you just message them??

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 20/05/2018 14:23

Have you messaged them? Or gone to meet them?

Even without the tracker numbers, it'd be safe to think they'd be done at 2:30 if they told you to expect around 11:30am...

But equally; if you've not contacted them and you're wasting your day waiting for them to make the first move, that's on you.

Azadewow · 20/05/2018 14:24

Just ask? With all the excitement it may have slip their mind. Just say are you guys finishing soon? Starving here lol or something like that to give them a chance to save face if they forgot

RandomMess · 20/05/2018 14:24

They may actually not be feeling well and all intentions of brunch and the thought to let you know has flown out the window...

AmazingPostVoices · 20/05/2018 14:24

Erm, but why on earth didn’t you text them and say “fantastic times guys, just let me know when suits you to eat?”

That wouldn’t have been pushy at all brunch was their idea.

lhastingsmua · 20/05/2018 14:24

I think you’re being silly not to contact them once, even if it’s just a quick text to ask if the meeting is still on.

Imo one text wouldn’t be you ‘begging’ them to meet you, that would just be you checking to see what’s happening.

crazycatgal · 20/05/2018 14:25

Why is it up to them to message you?

lhastingsmua · 20/05/2018 14:26

By your logic, they should be annoyed that you haven’t contacted them as you clearly know that they have finished through the tracker

kaytee87 · 20/05/2018 14:28

I'm really not sure why you didn't message them?

Original poster

DerelictWreck · 20/05/2018 14:30

Sorry guys, the agreement was that they would let me know when they were done and ready to meet, that's why I was hanging around waiting. I figured as soon as they got their phones and bags back they would message me, so when I saw they'd been on whatsap a while ago I figured they'd forgotten so I came home.

Appreciate I probably should have just text them, just fed up of always being the one in the group who has to sort out the others! They have form for being horrendously late to things so I should have remembered that!

OP posts:

SparklyMagpie · 20/05/2018 14:31

Im another who can't understand why you haven't messaged anything??

TroubledLichen · 20/05/2018 14:34

So you went to where they were but didn’t bother to message them

RestingBitchFaced · 20/05/2018 14:38

Can't believe you actually went out but didn't bother ringing them before going back home

happypoobum · 20/05/2018 14:43

I don't understand - why didn't you call them and speak to them?

This is coming across as quite martyrish behaviour to be honest.

kateandme · 20/05/2018 15:47

you didn't text them or get I ntouch crossed wires or not?could this coming from somewhere as you mentioned needing them to get in touch and needing them to want you there.instead of you making the effort all the time.not neediness but needing?

DragonMummy1418 · 20/05/2018 15:48

This is coming across as quite martyrish behaviour to be honest.

This! Just call or text.

GalwayWayfarer · 20/05/2018 16:11

I think it's rude that they haven't been in touch - that was the agreed plan! But I also think you could have texted to check what's going on.

Sparklesocks · 20/05/2018 17:02

Sorry OP I agree you should’ve messaged them - they might thought they hadn’t heard from you so maybe you weren’t keen after all?

It could’ve been a breezy ‘well done on the race! Still up for brunch?’ Etc etc, but hanging around waiting just seems strange. You are an adult and they are your friends, why does it matter who messages who?

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