AIBU to wonder why a lot of men just don’t get it

[Fadingmemory]

Not all men, as clearly some do get it! Not all women as some prefer to do it all. BUT, shared care of children and housework, both contributing to the boring stuff can contribute hugely to the happiness and fulfilment of all family members. (Neither is the drudge, both appreciate it can be boring and difficult, sense of family belonging, hopefully less fatigue and perhaps even some more sex). Depressing number of threads on this subject, although I guess the aggrieved will post more.

Why would they if their mother babies them and they immediately move in with a woman who tolerates how useless they are??

Agree OP, my ex just would not do anything around the house, and insisted it wasy job to ASK him every time a job needed doing, and remind if necessary. He was lazy at work too though (he was not the major breadwinner, which seems to be as an excuse sometimes)!
When we were trying counseling, he said he didn't want to start helping now, in case we couldn't resolve things, and then I'd feel even worse when we split .
There is less to do without him

If they've grown up with a mother who plays the little woman role it's their idea of what is normal. They'll also lack a lot of the skills required to share the drudgery. Blame lies on both sides of the gender divide. For every woman complaining that her husband doesn't do his share of the housework there is a mother running around like a skivvy for her sons.

But many women had mothers who did all the housework, it doesn't make them think it's their lot in life - I don't think you can blame men's mothers!
I had to do very little to help around the house as a child, but soon realised it needed doing when I got my own place - it's a bit convenient to suggest that men blindly follow what their parents did, and can't help themselves..