AIBU to want to protect my child

[clueless83]

Hi all,

I have a 4yr old who I am desperate to protect from her Dad and paternal family but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. Ex partner is in prison for 7yrs for a serious crime involving me and DD. Paternal grandmother had monthly contact (arrange between ourselves) since he was sentenced but I stopped it in December as we had a disagreement and she basically told me it was my fault her son was in prison because I called the police. She also told me I should lie to my DD so she didn't know the truth. I told her I wasn't willing to be there when she saw her grandchild and hoped she would go to a contact centre but she has gone straight for a court order. I am worried what she will be told if she has contact with her. As well as this I am worried my DD Dad is trying to get his restraining order changed so he can start contact proceedings (he hasn't seen her since she was 18 months and that was infrequently). I am desperate to stop them being in her life for her own safely and well-being but am I doing the wrong thing?

Jailed for seven years for a crime against you and your child?

I’d be very surprised if a judge awarded contact.

The granny will also not get contact. There is a bill being debated in parliament about grand parents rights but nothing in law at the moment so don’t worry about it

No, sounds reasonable to me. You have no obligation to facilitate contact with someone who is going to tell your child lies and expect you to do the same.

I have to attend a family court in 3 weeks for a contact hearing, I’m terrified they will say she has to see her Grandmother. I’m so worried about my DD mental health if they start telling her lies and half truths

YANBU. I can't imagine a judge granting the grandmother contact. I always thought it was very difficult for loving, supportive grandparents to get any legal visitation rights let alone this crazy woman.

Ok so my ex partner isn't in jail but would prob have lost interest in DD if not for his mum. His mom is an extremely poisonous influence in some ways but they have a relationship. Big parts of it I don't like so I restrict but... my point is that although the idea of grandparent rights terrifies me, id rather manage a distant rship than be at mercy of court or my DDs detriment

From what you're saying about her I cannot imagine her getting awarded contact.
I'm also a bit shocked about GP rights? Are these a thing? They shouldn't be.

I always thought they didn't actually have rights?

They don't.
It's being debated in Parliament at present.

So she's not seen her since Xmas, I can't imagine any court agreeing to this.

7 years - it must have been horrific

I was in a similar situation to you and my DC's nan took me to court and got a court order for visitation despite several lawyers and cafcass saying that she shouldn't have and she didn't have any rights and she didn't even have a relationship with them. There dad, who still lives with her to top it off, has been told by the courts that he is not allowed near them even though he has no wish to see them but that's a whole other topic 🙄 So she was just told that she couldn't have them at her home Family court is an absolute joke and I got bad luck and a bad judge, it does happen but if she does go through with it I really hope you have better luck than I had.

They currently have no official rights but they can apply to a court to be given permission to them be able to apply for contact (if that makes sense?!?!) this is what she has done and because the filed paperwork only states I have stopped contact the courts have awarded her permission.

They currently have no official rights but they can apply to a court to be given permission to them be able to apply for contact (if that makes sense?!?!) this is what she has done and because the filed paperwork only states I have stopped contact the courts have awarded her permission.

Not my area of law but that's my understanding. It's a 2 stage process for Grandparents and quite difficult for them to be awarded rights. Parliament have been debating making it easier but there aren't any firm plans for things to be changed afaik.

I wish you luck .