To not meet halfway

[allthegoodnameshadgone]

Will keep this brief. Just looking for opinions on whether I aibu here.

ExH moved two hours away from where I live with our DD.

He has to get the train to where we live and I meet him in the city centre.

He spends around three hours with her then gets the train back.

He now wants me to meet him halfway.

I am thinking about saying no.

My reasons for this are as follows:

He chose to move away

He has to get the train to wherever half way is so he may aswell Just stay on said train to where we live.

He pays me less than £20 a week CMS because he works for himself and is earning well over £80k pa and to be honest I can't afford the petrol every other week. He's doing his business books so it looks like he's on a lot less.

YANBU. He moved, he travels. And he’s a twat for paying you so little

Not much the CMS can do with self employed people I don’t think.

I’d report him to the tax man.

YANBU. He moved away, he's barely contributing to his child's upbringing. He can travel.

Good lord, on that income he could afford to hire a limousine to bring him in style. And you can't, so it's tough really. How about you agree to meet him half-way if he increases the CM to include your extra travel costs?

Have you asked cms to check his tax returns? But no I would not meet half way - presumably he would expect you to do the same back so you are waiting around an hour from home and dc do 4hrs travel for 3hrs contact. Not sure how this is in anyone's interests.

What a properly cheeky fucker! YANBU

I don't want to meet him halfway is the crux of it. Even if it cost me nothing.

He's treated me appallingly in the past.

He stayed in our old house that we purchased together and ripped out every bathroom, fixtures fittings and half painted every room. Before he realised he didn't have enough money or know how to replace. We lost around £50k value on it. When it came to sell (we actually got a buyer) there was £10k profit. He then said if I I didn't agree to giving him the full profit he wouldn't sign the papers to sell and wouldn't pay the mortgage. I let him have it as it was worth it to stop him having that hold over me. That's Just one example.

I am glad so far people have agreed I shouldn't meet him half way.

He makes zero effort between visits. No calls, nothing. DD doesn't ask for him in between or mention him.

I've worked myself up into a rage now thinking about all of this!

Tell him to sod off unless he ups your payments to £100 a week. I imagine he'll get on the train sharpish then.

CMS have applied a variation on his earnings but I suppose it will be next year it's picked up?

Not sure on the cms but to be honest if you have evidence he's being fraudulent on his income, which means he's being fraudulent on tax too, I'd report him for both. Not like he's a great person, forcing you to give up on your profit for your home too. Who cares if it causes problems for him?

Hi can you please advise me if you can?

He has asked me to attend mediation. I have agreed but advised he will need to fund this.

He is stating he won't as I earn more than him. On paper I do as if you remember he's putting his money into his own self employed. Business to avoid paying any real CMS. He's also saying he will qualify for legal aid and stuff because he's a low earner. Can he even claim that?

What is the stance here? Should I be pay by half? Can he force me to?