Aibu to pull out?

[RhubarbJam]

A work colleague is leaving next week and there's a planned leaving 'do' the day after she leaves. It's a restaurant meal about an hours drive from me.
I did say I will go but I'm now regretting it. None of my 'close' colleagues are going and 2 of the queen bees from the office (who are best mates) are organising it. They arranged the collection and we were told how much to put in.
I really don't want to go now, it's gonna be a loud, busy meal with people that I don't really mix with. But, the person who is leaving is a friend and I've met her outside work a few times for a drink and a chat so feel I will be letting her down!
I rarely go on work 'do's' as I'm quite an introvert and hate things like this.
Aibu to find an excuse not to go?

Can you talk to her separately and explain that you'd far rather meet her for a meal after she's left and that it really isn't personal....or still put in for the gift then be unable to attend for some reason....

I would cry off with a sudden clash and offer to take your friend out for lunch instead

Suck it up and go!

If the leaving person is a friend then I'd just go.

I would go. Looks bad to back out now and she is a friend. If you were leaving I expect you would want friendly faces there. You can always leave early if too loud. Be brave.

I've put requested amount in collection and I will arrange to meet her alone at a later date. Previously we have met at a shopping centre for a meal which suits me. I just don't want to offend her. I'm sure queen bee won't be impressed if I drop out but I just can't face it.

Queen bee can suck it up OP. Your life is nothing to do with them. Do what is comfortable for you.

Do you often duck out of things when it gets close to the event?

sparkle it's not a habit of mine to suddenly pull out, no.
That's why I've posted. Tbh usually i would have made an excuse not to go from the start. Not sure why I said yes this time.

To be honest I used to agree and do things I didn't really want to do. I read the book "the subtle art of not giving a F*uk" and it was life altering.

OP you don't have to waste time in things you don't enjoy. Next time use the excuse "I don't think I will be able to right now , but if things change I will let you know".

Your alternative is perfectly fine and a week before is not last minute. Put yourself first.

thanks orange i really wouldnt enjoy it and i can think of better things to spend my money on.
I think I will find an excuse, I have to work the next day so will have to face people anyway.
I will txt friend and explain things and pay for us to go for a meal at a later date.
I just feel a cow for cancelling but the relief at not having to go will be good!

Life's too short to worry about what people you don't even like (Queen Bee) think about you. Tell them that something important's come up and you can move longer make it. Explain to your friend and have a nice lunch.

Make a new arrangement as you are cancelling. And don’t complain about the women who organised the do - don’t mention them. Give a different excuse.

ultra I won't mention queen bees. They probably wont even give a shiny shit that I'm not there. They just 'have' to organise everything that goes on and be in the thick of everything! They arnt horrible people per se, just things like this they take over weather they are friends with the person or not.
Like pp say, life's too short......