To feel sorry for this woman?

[RioTheParrott]

I work with a woman who everyone hates but her behaviour is so odd I feel sorry for her.
She posts memes all over social media about how people better watch out and they'll get her bad side etc etc. She posts about 5 a day honestly.
She is so hot and cold. She shouts and cries in work if anything goes wrong even minor things then will be nice as pie.
She gossips and bitches about everyone and if she dislikes someone will do her utmost to destroy them.

everyone hates her but I actually think she's bloody unhappy really

It's not unreasonable to feel sorry for her but equally, it's not unreasonable for everyone else to dislike her.

She sounds awful to be honest and being 'bloody unhappy really', doesn't give her a licence to treat people like shit.

It doesn't give her an excuse but her behaviour is so bizarre I think she needs help

Sounds like some MH issues, which is a very broad 'catch all' phrase. I have a friend on FB who posts similar stuff, you can watch her get progressively drunk every evening, by 9pm it's all tears and 'in heaven' memes.

It's tragic really.

RioTheParrott

I think she needs help

Just make sure that you are not the one getting lumbered with helping her.

God No way am I getting lumbered with her

She mentored me and it was bloody awful

Unfortunately you'd be unwise to try to help her - she'd stab you in the back in no time.

I think it's sad that in this day and age work members don't like her, can yo have a word with HR to see if they can help, perhaps all she needs is a nod in the right direction, well done for caring.

Oh god, I think it's me.

She sounds like a relative of mine. 🙄

Annie I'm sure you're not her she's a wrongun really

She sounds god awful, I don't think I would feel sorry for her.

Sounds like my DM. There aren't many people that like her. One sibling has all but cut off from her, and I've gone low contact for the sake of my sanity as the blowing hot and cold was making me ill. Especially when she blew ice cold and became particularly abusive.

But I also can't help but feel sorry for her. She has some major deep rooted MH issues but comes from a generation that is embarrassed about such issues and she regards them as a weakness. She refuses any professional help, but wallows in self-pity and bitterness self-medicating with alcohol.

But then some days she's perfectly lovely and placid and any stranger would think she was an absolute delight!

Sounds like your colleague has MH issues. However, while that's worthy of sympathy you still need to keep a safe distance.

Annie

I know someone like that, I always wonder where she get the memes from !

I think she needs help, possibly speak to your line manager about your concerns, see if there's anything they can do. I wouldn't take this on yourself, as the woman seems different to say the least, but speaking to your line manager means you haven't ignored it, hopefully she'll get help.

It's ok to see someone self destruct and not want anything to do with them, but at the same time feel desperately sad for them and want to help them. This is why most of us go between NC and helping.

She sounds exactly like my ex colleague. Identical in what your saying.

She was extremely up and down and would say how she really wanted to work in the forces and could I secretly help her with the applications. I encouraged her to follow it up and get a career as opposed to the crappy job we were in. She would say she was a crap person and would never get married so for a while I tried building her up and not letting her slag herself off .
But then the next second she would be running to the bosses bitching.

I ended up quitting as my heart wasn't in it so I couldn't be doing with the atmosphere and her stirring.

I left and deleted my social media but another ex colleague showed me all her crazy, rambling posts about me! She was furious I had quit a job I hated. Every few months she would do explosive posts about how she was going to ruin my life.

It was utterly bizarre but I really believe she had MH issues so just ignored as I'd never see her and she wasn't in my life. It's been a year and when I met up with another mutual ex colleague who then posted a pic of us together it sparked her off again. A year! And I was nothing but nice to her.

I think it's sad that in this day and age work members don't like her

I don't understand what you mean by that?

Surely in any day and age people are disliked for shouting and crying in work, gossiping and bitching and setting out to destroy people?

Sounds exactly like a woman I work with, is she also a compulsive liar?

She sounds like she might have a personality disorder.

She could have MH problems

She could just be a twat

She could be a twat with MH problems

Doesn't mean people have to like her, so long as people aren't bullying her then I wold leave her to it.

I would actively avoid someone like this, I haven't got time for things like this at work, I'd be civil but nothing more.

Exactly Takfu

I think if anyone's going to call her on her behaviour (as it's affecting others) it should be HR.

Otherwise just avoid and keep things civil.

I work in the nhs and I find the behaviour of quite a few staff unacceptable