Okay, so we have managed to upset mil.
Dh and I are off on a mini break soon and dh arranged childcare with a relative/good friend of ours whom dd is extremely close to and their dc, again dd is extremely close to their dc so we are confident dd will have a whale of a time.
We feel guilty about going as dd is only 2 but we are newly weds had a tough few months and we could just really use the break.
Mil is furious she wasn't asked to babysit. We have explained that my dad also offered and would love to have her too but we have chosen to to with our df as we are sure dd will have fun with the other dc plus mil and my dad are not in the best health and it might be a bit much. Mil hasn't accepted this and says it doesn't matter who else wanted to babysit she should get to do it as she is the grandmother and it's her right and basically all her friends are going to laugh at her because they all get their grandchildren atleast once a week and she says she never gets asked (not true we always go to mil and my dad for babysitting for a few hours by day or in the evening but we never leave dd with then for longer due to their health and they have both proven more then once they wouldn't manage) my dad is probably the more fit out of the two but I'm always very careful to treat them the same so nobody's feelings are hurt.
How to I show mil this arrangement isn't to hurt anyone it's simply what is in dds best interest and she really will prefer having other children to play with? I have already told my dad and mil that whilst we are away they can arrange with out friend to take dd out for the day if they want to. Dad is totally fine and understands just said he would of been happy to have her if we hadn't been able to sort anything else.