AIBU to ask for advice on how to deal with this better next time?

[tattyheadsmum]

I was in the park today with my (almost) 2 year old. He ran towards the (two) toddler swings and an older boy (around 4) saw where he was heading and ran for the same swing and grabbed it. There was no jostling for one swing; my son turned to get into the one next to the one that the older boy had grabbed. Before I could get there, the older child had deliberately swung “his” swing into my son’s face really hard. My son cried in that awful can’t breathe way that lets you know they’ve really hurt themselves. He’s going to have a black eye in the morning by the look of it.

The older boy was with a (lovely) nanny, who was horrified at what he had done and made him apologise to my son and me. I didn’t say much as this is the first time that anything like this has happened and, tbh, I didn’t know what the etiquette was! I thanked the boy for apologising, but is it the done thing to also tell another person’s child off (so should I have said “ thank you for apologising but you’ve really hurt my boy”) or is that for parents to do? I know it’s ridiculous and there’s bound to be much worse ahead but I’m left feeling that I didn’t do enough for my boy...although I think dropping the nut on a 4 year old probably isn’t the done thing either . Not the most exciting AIBU ever, I know, but I’m genuinely interested in how other people would have handled this.

It looks like the nanny did everything correctly. I wouldn't thank this boy for apologising but I wouldn't tell him off as the nanny did this already.
You could look out for your child a little bit more around swings, they could be dangerous but to be honest it's very rare what this boy did. Most children will go on swings or won't go off but won't hit another child.

Thanks Political, that’s exactly right. Glad to hear it’s rare; he’s my first (and circumstances mean he’ll be my only) and this is the first time anything like this has ever happened. He’s quite a sociable little boy and every older kid he’s interacted with before has been lovely with him. Just one of life’s lessons I suppose (even though I want to wrap him in cotton wool).

Oh dear, here they come....

Couple of things:

1. I’m not asking how the nanny should have handled things differently. She was great, couldn’t have been better. I’m asking how I could have handled it better. If it ever happens again (which I really hope it doesnt) I’ll follow the advice upthread and accept apology but reinforce that it wasn’t ok.

1. Of course I don’t let my son run near occupied swings. I’m a bit unassertive, I’m not mad! The swings weren’t occupied when my son headed towards them, the other boy ran to intercept him so that he could tease him by taking the swing my son wanted. When that didn’t prompt a tantrum, he deliberately swung the swing at my son’s face.

Anyway, I’m grateful for all the advice. Thank you for taking the time.

@KhalliWalli yeah it's that kind of reaction that doesn't do anyone any good. He's 4. Yes older than the OP's son, but still a young child. Going "mental" is a complete over-reaction. OP you did the right thing. I think it should be acknowledged when a child apologises. Thanking them for their apology shows them that that's the kind of thing you want if someone does something wrong. He was told off by his nanny and I don't think he should have been told off more.