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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I feel like I have betrayed someone but I haven’t

46 replies

MrsDylanBlue · 17/05/2018 22:22

I have a colleague who I am really fond of, have worked with her for years and she is a bit of a mother figure to me.

IT is really important in our job and she is a massive technophobe and also manages a team of people, some of who kind of get away with being a bit sloppy paperwork wise which has been a worry for a lot of us for a while.

We have a new manager who is on it. I like it and I am fine with all the systems and processes.

Colleague has gone on leave and asked me to do a few tasks for her which I should not be doing (as in doing other peoples jobs - we are not supposed to do it). The theee things she has asked me to do there has been very little info on the database for and one of the things she asked me to ask one of her team to do they have totally fucked up due to lack of info and lack of knowledge (which I wasn’t aware of). The other thing should have been fine in Feb and totally blew up yday as she thought she has sent me some work but hasn’t she has allocated a family to me who should have been allocated in Feb. I have had no choice but to tell our manager about the second thing as if it resulted in a serious case review I would be seriously implicated.

She left me a note about this case (we are supposed to be paperless and everything on the database) but it was just a load of words on a piece of paper she has jotted down and probably mean something to her, but I didn’t want to call her while she is off as she is stressed and checks her emails etc while off (she shouldn’t).

Today my manager photocopied the note and is going to address it with colleague when she gets back. I feel fucking terrible for colleague but really really torn. I am now implicated in shit working practises and looking like I am covering for her (which to a degree I am - although I have done the right and proper thing about the serious thing).

I feel like shit but also annoyed that she asked me to make some calls when there was fuck all info on the database.

She has also got other colleagues writing up her case notes for her due to her refusal to use the fucking database.

ARGH.

I plan to call her Sunday to give her the heads up

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsDylanBlue · 17/05/2018 23:25

cafenoirbiscuit
I get that it’s hard for my colleague and have organised training in the office, will jump up and help her at any given moment but it’s trying me now tbh esp after this week.

Just learn how to use the fucking IT.

And breathe.

OP posts:

lhastingsmua · 17/05/2018 23:33

She deserves to be called up on her incompetence, don’t feel guilty. Being a technophobe just doesn’t cut it in 2018, especially when she’s behind on her workload and children are at risk as a result.

She may be a nice colleague, but she does sound like she’s struggling and she needs to be held accountable for her actions at work. You did the right thing. It’s your manager’s job to nip this sort of behaviour and off loading work to others in the bud

Original poster

MrsDylanBlue · 17/05/2018 23:36

I guess I am pissed off it had to be me.

OP posts:

Noqonterfy · 17/05/2018 23:46

Just learn how to use the fucking IT.

Old school social worker I guess. Things are changing so rapidly. She might find this is the tipping point for her and leave. It is very difficult in a profession that has changed so much that it's almost unrecognisable.

Original poster

MrsDylanBlue · 17/05/2018 23:48

Noqonterfy

I totally get it and she is amazing at other parts of the job.

I have so much respect for her which I probably why I cover for her.

OP posts:

MumofBoysx2 · 17/05/2018 23:54

So she's getting into trouble for writing some notes that will help you while she's away? What's wrong with that? Sounds like a horrible new boss!

TuTru · 17/05/2018 23:55

You have to do your job properly, and that’s that.

Noqonterfy · 18/05/2018 00:26

So she's getting into trouble for writing some notes that will help you while she's away? What's wrong with that? Sounds like a horrible new boss!

Yeah not great. It doesn't take much to get reported to hcpc and get struck off. As a social worker anyway. Despite the fact it's almost impossible to fulfill all the demands that are required these days. Different set of rules of doctors. It's rare they don't get a second chance. Social work is a shit job.

AjasLipstick · 18/05/2018 00:29

So she's getting into trouble for writing some notes that will help you while she's away? What's wrong with that? Sounds like a horrible new boss!

No she's getting in trouble for scribbling an unintelligible note about a case instead of properly logging it on the system so it was understandable and not easily lost.

Ssssurvey · 18/05/2018 00:36

I am amazed at the sympathisers. Logging all incidents is paramount to child protection. OP you have done the right thing by flagging higher. Loyalty should not take place at work!

SleepingStandingUp · 18/05/2018 00:36

Op this isn't about not filling a database about how many pies to order. This is children's lives and you did the right thing. You may lose a friend over it but its better than a life (and career, reputation, mental well being).

Disclose everything to your boss and get this mess sorted for once

Monty27 · 18/05/2018 00:36

A child has died and you are covering up for an incompetent colleague? At the risk of your own professionalism to boot?
What hope? Wtaf??

Noqonterfy · 18/05/2018 00:44

A child hasn't died Monty. Unless I've missed something here. But the point being that it is extremely difficult for social workers to do their job properly, to prevent exactly that, without adequate support. With huge caseloads and huge amounts of paperwork its an impossible task.

Motoko · 18/05/2018 00:47

Monty27 NO! A child has NOT died! If you read the thread properly, you'll see OP has said a child could have died, and that if a child had died, it could have been OP in the firing line, even though it would have been due to her colleague not doing her job properly.

AjasLipstick · 18/05/2018 01:07

Ssss yes...I suppose it's people like that who don't help matters when things are going wrong in departments like this. :( Very, very upsetting.

Monty27 · 18/05/2018 01:13

Motoko
I am so sorry for misreading. Thank goodness it hasn't come to that.
And I appreciate you calling me out on it.
Thank you. I can only feel relief.

MrsCatE · 18/05/2018 01:14

This is incredibly outing and upsetting. We do not want to believe the effing Daily Fail stories and what do you do, hand it to them on a garnished plate??

However, it appears this is your experience and someone should be held accountable for effing up peoples' lives.

IJustHadToNameChange · 18/05/2018 01:20

Do not talk to her.

She's probably reading her emails whilst off to ensure there's no discovery of her slack working practices.

If management are building a case against her, you could tip her off, she could call a few people at work and relying on their loyalty get them to help her out.

It feels shitty, but you've done nothing wrong and she's been relying on 'friendship' and loyalty to her to cover her arse. She's a user and an incompetent one.

Monty27 · 18/05/2018 01:23

Yes you need to be professional from here on in. It's not all your colleague's fault either.
It's a lack of good management and training.
It's certainly not you at fault.

slowlywiltingpetal · 18/05/2018 01:46

I wouldn't feel bad, it sounds like you have quite an important job, what she's done could have serious consequences. She's hoping you will cover it all up nicely, but then if anything goes wrong does that put you in the line of fire?

It's a shame she's stressed, but if she can't do her job, maybe she needs to move elsewhere, get further training or possibly be demoted whilst someone competent fills her role.

In some areas there's no option for being relaxed about targets or ignoring work that is obviously important. It's not your fault she's lacking, I'd suspect that during a review this would come to light, or has possibly already been mentioned thus being stressy.

It's a bit like if you were a nurse and you knew a colleague was particularly horrid not only to others in the team but patients too, you'd feel compelled to drop an anonymous note to HR as some people may like & feel entitled to work in the profession they want, but if they're not suited, they're not suited.

MrsCrabbyTree · 18/05/2018 01:46

This situation is not of your doing. Not your fault that your friend isn't coping or completing her work correctly.

Unfortunately, you have to, in this instance, put the friendship to one side, and do what is right for the greater good. There is no reason to give her forewarning on Sunday, best if you let the chips fall where they may, without input from you.

But I understand why you feel the way you do.

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