to think that some antenatal care just isn't up to scratch?

[ChaiWallahs]

I am aware that the NHS is under immense pressure, I come from a family of people employed by the NHS as doctors, nurses and surgeons (I am about the only one who chose a different career path) so do understand. I am having my first baby however, am 16 weeks and have had numerous issues with my midwifery care:

• I have online notes which haven't been updated since I was 8 weeks.
• my online notes aren't compatible with the hospital I'm going to for my appointments so have had to have a history taken twice meaning a 40 mile round trip to the hospital, all because they couldn't see my notes.
• midwife asked me to send her a text message when I was 14 weeks so she didn't forget to book me in for my 16 week check-up. I completely forgot to message her therefore didn't have an appointment booked (shouldn't she keep a diary of who she needs to book in rather than putting responsibility on her patients?)
• midwife booked me in for my 12 week scan on the wrong day by accident as she put the wrong date in to my online notes without noticing so it was too late (I had no idea it had to be done before 14 weeks), so have now had to make another trip to the hospital to have a quadruple test which I am anxiously waiting for results for as they couldn't do nuchal scan.
• haven't had anything explained to me, have received an appointment to see a consultant and have zero clue what it is for. Even the receptionist at the hospital couldn't tell me and said I would have to wait until the day to find out (this has caused me no end of anxiety).

AIBU to expect a little more? Or is it just a given that being a first time expecting mum is stress/anxiety/what-the-hell-is-going-on central?

Oh god: the online notes thing has caused me so such stress! Our trust has everything online but due to complications with the baby I have to go to a different hospital...who can't access or update the notes. Ridiculous.

YANBU

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Things like keeping your records utd and explaining procedures are really basic.

I don't think it's that unreasonable for you to be responsible for booking your own appointments. Why didn't you ask your midwife what the consultant appointment was for? You must have an idea why you are not low risk midwifery care?

@Dreamingofkfc I have asked my midwife. She said something in my notes has triggered a concern but she doesn't know what it is. I just figured that she knew when I was 14 weeks so why ask me to remind her when she could've just written it in a diary. As I said maybe I'm expecting too much.

Some hospital systems aren't compatible - especially if you have declined to have your data shared.

Yes the Mid wife should have remembered, but it's always good for the patient to follow up to ensure the appointment has been made as they frequently aren't (as in your case)

i dont think the receptionist can tell you either way what your consultant appt is for.

“Yes the Mid wife should have remembered, but it's always good for the patient to follow up to ensure the appointment has been made as they frequently aren't (as in your case)”

Which is precisely what the OP is saying should change.

The fact is there are some expectant mothers who are not capable of maintaining the appointment schedule for their own pregnancies. Unstable home lives, literacy, don’t speak the language, health reasons, many many factors that make it impossible for them to maintain the schedule. What happens to them?

When I got pregnant the first time, nobody told me anything. Not who to call, how to access midwife care, nothing. I had no clue what I was doing, even after my booking appointment. I was consultant led, even though I insisted I didn't need to be. When I went to appointments, at considerable cost and time off, the consultant would leave me to wait for an hour and then not even know I was there. She would Google problems in front of me. Thank God I didn't need her at the birth.

That said, the midwives I met were brilliant (once I actually got to meet one).

Sadly loads of antenatal care is not up to scratch and it is a significant cause behind our higher than necessary stillbirth rate.

YANBU my antenatal care sounds way better than yours but I have to agree 're the hospital appointments. I get sent a letter telling me I have an appointment but rather than saying what its actually for it just has the clinic code on it, wtf am I supposed to do with that information? I turn up with no idea why I'm there or for how long or whether I'm supposed to take wee or not then the hospital staff look at you like you're a moron for not knowing why you're there! E.g. 'are you seeing the doctor today?' - I didn't know I was seeing you, here's the letter I was sent, how about you decipher these meaningless hieroglyphs and you tell me

I had the random consultant appointment that no one could tell me what it was for including the consultant who proceeded to tell me off for having an appointment but not knowing what it was for. I was rather angry about that, I'd taken time off work to attend and it was 3 hours late!

I just have no idea what's going on to be honest... making it hard to enjoy my pregnancy as I'm so anxious!