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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it doesn't matter that DD doesn't hold her pen correctly

39 replies

bluebird14 · 17/05/2018 12:43

Handwriting is fine but the teachers seem very fussed about ensuring she holds it correctly. Why is this?

OP posts:

CactaiPie · 17/05/2018 12:45

Because the longer it goes on the harder it will be to correct, and it'll be harder in the future for her to keep her handwriting up to standard.

Original poster

bluebird14 · 17/05/2018 12:46

Her handwriting is cursive and absolutely fine. Why does it matter how she holds her pen?

OP posts:

stargirl1701 · 17/05/2018 12:47

A mature tripod grasp means you can write comfortably for longer and more quickly.

LoisEinhorn · 17/05/2018 12:48

It can be a sign of a sensory issue

Alexkate2468 · 17/05/2018 12:48

It depends on how differently. Am awkward pen hold can be fine for short times but for writing for extended times can cause aching and fatigue. It will impact her writing stamina. It can also cause neck and shoulder problems long term. Its best to correct it now as the longer she holds the pen incorrectly the harder it will be.

There are always exceptions and wine children will be fine with a different pen grip but I'd rather not wait to see.

squashyhat · 17/05/2018 12:49

I had this when I was a kid at primarty school and the teacher who could write beautiful copperplate thought it was more important that I (left hander) held the pen the 'correct' way than my writing was actually legible. As soon as I got to secondary and could hold it in a way which was comfortable for me all became clear. Stupid and unecessary IMO.

WickedGoodDoge · 17/05/2018 12:49

I used to worry about this but DD is about to turn 13, still holds her pen all wrong, and has absolutely beautiful handwriting. Her teachers stopped trying to fix it years ago and I no longer think it matters.

Fatted · 17/05/2018 12:49

How old is she? Is it to do with developing the correct motor skills?

DS1 is left handed, can't hold the pencil with the correct grip yet. He's 5. No one had mentioned it, other than in passing and just something to practice at.

LoveInTokyo · 17/05/2018 12:50

How is she holding it?

I hold my pen between my thumb and three fingers (with just the pinky finger not touching the pen) and always have done. I was told to hold it with my thumb and two fingers but it never felt comfortable. My writing is fine.

Frax · 17/05/2018 12:50

DS holds his pen incorrectly. He's 22 and I regret not correcting him when he was four. It matters because however neat the writing is, it's slower if the pen is held wrong. Nowadays most people type everything but as yet exams are still handwritten.

deboraci · 17/05/2018 12:50

When she does exams when she's older, she'll be able to write far more quickly with the correct grip, and will do better.

It may look nice and cursive, but it will be slow. It will affect her when she does GCSEs/A levels/uni exams so it's very important to correct it now.

Boulshired · 17/05/2018 12:53

I have arthritis and a bent index finger through not holding a pen correctly. These did not show until adulthood and luckily improved with computer use but the damage was done in school years.

MismatchedPJs · 17/05/2018 12:54

One day she might be doing 3 hour essay exams. Maybe they think her style will not be comfortable for long periods of writing when she's older. Or maybe it's just to hit a target. Can't really say without knowing what the issue is really. If she can only write with her left ankle hooked over her her right ear while lying full length on a desk that wouldn't be sustainable.

Original poster

bluebird14 · 17/05/2018 12:55

She's 9, no problems with extended writing.

OP posts:

Bearhunter09 · 17/05/2018 12:56

It doesn’t matter. I’ve always held my pen “incorrectly” and I’ve managed just fine.

Bearhunter09 · 17/05/2018 12:58

Oh and I once managed to handwrite 12 hours worth of essays inprofessional exams over 2days absolutely fine. I even passed lol

deboraci · 17/05/2018 13:00

She's 9, no problems with extended writing

She's not doing time-pressured 3 hour exams where she has to write 4 or 5 essays yet though, is she?

madja · 17/05/2018 13:04

Had this with my son ( and myself when I was at school) We are both dyspraxic, and have had years of this. It's like the correct pen grip is more important than him getting some work done. Never mind the fact he can't help it. He just doesn't have the stability in his grip to do it the way the teacher wants.
Neither did i, and at my advanced age, am still writing with my wrong pen grip.

stargirl1701 · 17/05/2018 13:04

It's not usually an issue at 9. It becomes an issue when exams are involved - secondary/tertiary levels.

It's easier to fix the earlier you address it. There can be underlying issues - shoulder girdle, fine motor, sensory, etc.

Original poster

bluebird14 · 17/05/2018 13:06

No, but she does write for pleasure and it doesn't hurt her!

She finds it uncomfortable to hold her pen "correctly."

OP posts:

halfwitpicker · 17/05/2018 13:07

How much handwriting is she actually going to be doing in the future anyway?

I think she should concentrate on other things.

LucyAutumn · 17/05/2018 13:08

Please don't let ANYONE tell you this is a problem!

I have always held my pen in a slightly 'odd' way, had such trouble with various teachers trying to 'correct' it, but I still hold my pen this way today and have beautiful joined up handwriting which has been used for a number of friends and families wedding calligraphy.

I write neatly, I write quickly and I do not suffer from any kind of writers fatigue or other strain.

Glumglowworm · 17/05/2018 13:09

I think it depends how incorrectly we’re talking about.

I hold mine wrong (resting on my ring finger, two fingers on top) and have completed three hour exams with no issues, my writing was fast and legible. It’s less so now purely because I don’t do that kind of extended writing anymore so I’m out of practice.

FluffyPersian · 17/05/2018 13:10

I'm 36 and apparently hold my pen in a 'really weird' way. I had teachers in the 80's try and get me to hold it 'correctly', but it didn't feel correct to me.

My handwriting is pretty legible and I managed to get a few degrees and a pretty good job so it hasn't harmed me. Why the need to 'fix' it? Surely if there's a way that's comfortable to you, why change it?

Is this like a 'Left handed people are evil and you should always use your right hand?' type thing (which I believe was the thinking a few hundred years ago, as you were believed to be a witch?)

UrgentScurryfunge · 17/05/2018 13:10

I have seen beautiful writing from what looks like incredibly awkward pen grips... but it is the minority, and yes it can be problematic further down the line for efficient writing speeds in long essay based exams.

We're this far into the 21st century and the computer age with barely any change towards computerising the pupil side of most exams, and I can't see that changing in the next decade at least as there isn't the infrastructure or investment to be able to supply a whole year group with reliable, cheat proof computing in order to do exams.

Handwriting in schools may feel archaic compared to the rest of life beyond school, but it is valuable for fine motor control that is used in other aspects of life.

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