Posted in mental health but had zero replies.
I don't want to come across as being an awful friend here but I am literally at the end of my tether.
My friend has anxiety and paranoia. I completely understand and empathise with what she is going through. She confides bits to me. She has managed to push away many of our friendship group, I always try to be the voice of reason but I feel people are standing back from me now because I defend certain behaviours (which I can live with.)
The friendship group are not bad people, they also understand but have been pushed. She uses her children to emotionally blackmail, she makes people feel that they can't be open about who they spend time with, the secrecy then feeds the paranoia. We are a large group and can't all be together all the time, smaller groups have naturally formed over the years.
From my own perspective, she often arranges days or trips but makes excuses at the last minute upsetting our plans as a family or disappointing my kids. There is always an excuse and it is always someone else's fault. I've put up with it for years but the arrangements are getting more flamboyant and leave a bigger impact when we're let down. My husband is less understanding which is also tough to deal with.
I feel like I'm an awful friend by taking a big step back, I feel she needs someone in her corner but I always have it thrown in my face. I'm made to feel like my friendship isn't good enough because she obsesses over what others in our group think of her, and that she would rather be with them so why do I bother. I know that sounds selfish but she's impacting on me now, making me feel bad about myself.
How do I deal with this situation?