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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking she was goading me?

29 replies

wallyfeatures · 16/05/2018 18:39

Met up with some acquaintances for coffee and chat. Not hard and fast friends but a group together by circumstances and geography. Today it seemed that everything I said was contradicted by another attendee. For example, we talked about holidays and I mentioned that I was doing a long-haul this year without the children. She then pipes up about how she could never leave her children behind and had given up a chance for a big holiday when her children were little. Conversation then moved on and there was chatting about work-related stress. I mentioned that my husband had suffered an episode last year. She then starts talking about how she doesn't know where all this stress that everyone is suffering from has come from as it didn't exist ten years ago, and when she hears that someone is stressed at work she doesn't believe it. So then near the end of the meetup we were talking about supermarkets and the opening of a new budget one nearby. I was saying how good it was and how the prices were really reasonable and the fruit and veg offerings good - and guess what? She wouldn't go near that supermarket and she would rather pay a higher price and get better quality. She was, of course, talking out her arse as this supermarket as well as stocking budget options also offers organic and such like ranges and often comes out top in blind-testings. It just felt like she was out to disagree with me. What do you think? Am I overthinking it? I've never had anything like this with her before, in fact with anyone. I'm quite easy-going and happy go lucky. I gritted my teeth and did not bite but it is now making me think about not attending any more meetups because it feels like she's out to undermine me.

OP posts:
Dieu · 16/05/2018 19:33

But that's your s-i-l, and as such, someone who is well known to you.
Different ballgame to be this way with strangers!

Juells · 16/05/2018 19:33

She sounds jealous. Are you prettier than she is? Got a better job?

@ConciseandNice
I ended up sounding relentlessly negative about things she was saying. I can honestly say I never meant to or even realised. She then said something really mean and passive aggressive to me which brought me up sharp. I didn’t look at her the same way again and we stopped speaking.

Confused
arousingcheer · 16/05/2018 19:38

Yup, she's a contrarian, she thinks the only opinion worth expressing is one she thinks no one else has. It is so tiresome.

The stress controversy is news to me as I left work over 20 years ago with a breakdown (+ psych/drug treatment) due to my very stressful job. If only I had known it didn't exist - tut!

marjorie25 · 16/05/2018 19:48

I would have said to her: you know you are so right in everything you said.
I think I should consulted you more in future because your ideas make more sense than mine. That would have stopped her dead cold

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