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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FT or PT

35 replies

gruffaloschild1 · 16/05/2018 13:26

Hi All,

Need a bit of advice.

My OH has recently taken a pay cut and left us with a big lifestyle change. We're not "poor" but we definitely have to budget and buy food etc very carefully.

We have an almost one year old child. I currently work PT and my OH, FT. Going to work FT at my current job isn't really an option as that wouldn't cover the cost of additional childcare, parking, petrol etc.

I have been offered an interview for a FT position elsewhere but my heart is breaking at the thought of leaving my LO five days a week. I'll only see him to literally put him to bed and on a weekend.

The interview I have would leave us about 300 a month better off than now, after paying the additional childcare/petrol etc.

Would you think that's "enough" to tempt you to go to work FT, rather than PT and have the additional days with the baby?

OP posts:
Original poster
gruffaloschild1 · 16/05/2018 13:51

Anyone?

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 16/05/2018 13:55

It depends how much you are struggling financially I suppose, 300 a month doesn't seem like enough to me though, unless you really are badly stuck

Original poster
gruffaloschild1 · 16/05/2018 13:56

I'm thinking the same. Whilst it's a lot of money, I'm not sure it's enough to justify being away from my LO

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 16/05/2018 13:57

dont do it unless you really can't scrimp and save to cover that. Obviously if you are going to end up with your house repossessed then you have to do it but I bet you can find savings if you look carefully.
1.Check you insurances, phones and utilities on a comprison website

  1. buy food at aldi
  2. buy clothes from charity shops
4 budget £20pw less each on social budget (thats £160pm)
  1. spend less on presents and occasions like christmas/birthday

dont do something that breaks you heart you wont regret spending time with LO and him having to wear charity shop clothes because of it. You can increase your hours when he is at school

Trinity66 · 16/05/2018 13:58

I'm thinking the same. Whilst it's a lot of money, I'm not sure it's enough to justify being away from my LO

What does your DH think about it?

OfDragonsDeep · 16/05/2018 13:59

I wouldn't unless I was desperate for the money. There's always time to work more when they're older

bazingabazinga · 16/05/2018 14:00

I’d do it.

My mother worked full time and so do I.

I’ve never ever resented her for going out 5 days a week to earn a crust and give me a better standard of living.

user139328237 · 16/05/2018 14:01

Remember that the people able to post at this time of day on a Wednesday will not include many full time workers and most people consider their own position to be the best option. £300 is a lot of money for some but hardly anything for others so it really depends on how that money would be spent. Also if OH has taken a pay cut by choice it may be worth considering if it would be possible for them to go part time if you secured a full time job?

SandysMam · 16/05/2018 14:01

Totally agree with Trinity, really hard to advise without knowing your financial picture. If PT means you will lose your small house and the bailiffs will come knocking then you have no choice, if PT simply means no luxury holidays or designer gear which you are used to, then I would say PT and lots of time with your child. They are only little for such a short time and unless you are desperate, I wouldn’t do it.

Trinity66 · 16/05/2018 14:08

Remember that the people able to post at this time of day on a Wednesday will not include many full time workers

I work full time. I worked PT for a couple of years until my youngest started school. I really wanted that time with them and we could afford it and luckily my mother helped with childcare. I was glad I had that time with them but also glad to get back into working life. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer but clearly from what the OP has posted so far, she'd like to stay PT while her child is young so if that's do able and her DH is happy with that too then she should stay PT?

Original poster
gruffaloschild1 · 16/05/2018 14:12

I wouldn't say "desperate" but it would make a big difference to us... on the flip side I wouldn't call it an amount that could completely change everything if that makes sense.

It would just make us a lot more comfortable without having to countdown the days until payday, but I think we could manage our bills etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
gruffaloschild1 · 16/05/2018 14:14

Money isn't everything I suppose, but this would be a HUGE help. On the other hand I don't want to regret not spending that time with my son.

OH has very much sat on the fence and has the same outlook as me. He's said it wouldn't hurt to go to the interview and buy more time to consider

OP posts:
SandysMam · 16/05/2018 14:17

I’m at work!! Just on my lunch break!! I know how it feels to have to leave your baby, and if I had another choice, I would take it.

Fruitcorner123 · 16/05/2018 14:20

how old is your son? Could you plan to go full time when he is 3 and funded?

Luisa27 · 16/05/2018 14:22

Don’t do it OP!!

There are some excellent cookbooks/websites out there for feeding a family on a tight budget - I’m sure you could save quite a bit each week.
I’d much rather drastically cut down on things than leave my baby 5 days a week - all for an extra £300 a month

onlyjustme · 16/05/2018 14:32

Is that after tax, NI, pension etc too? I went from PT to FT and my pay nowhere near doubled.
FT is easier with a pre-schooler than when they are at school as nursery is open longer than school! (Although school does now offer breakfast and after school club).
It is only an interview... would there be any opportunity to reduce hours once you were in???
PT roles are also difficult to come by... if you leave this one is there any chance of getting it again in the future?
What does DH do at home now? What would he have to do if you were FT?
You need to decide but it is about a lot more than the money.

Catstar123 · 16/05/2018 14:37

The new position is it a good career move? Will it open up more opportunities etc, changes for pay increase. Would you enjoy the job? Would you enjoy it more then your current job?

healthyheart · 16/05/2018 14:40

Also, ch3ck you’ve included all your extra costs.
As pp has already said, more money does not always go up proportionately, usually it’s less take home pay pro rata as you pay tax etc.
Also, will you end up paying for lunches ? ( maybe currently you are home for lunch). Wil you need more work clothes? Would you need a cleaner or be getting carry out meals. All these costs can eat at your ‘extra’ pay.

Wellthisunexpected · 16/05/2018 14:45

Very much depends on you. I chose to go back full time because I wanted us to buy a bigger house, I enjoy my job and to be really honest it saved my sanity. I couldn't and wouldn't have wanted to be a SAHM, regardless of the finances. If we'd stayed in the old house then I could have afford to go part time or not work at all, but that wasn't an option for me personally.

18 months on, I think 4 days a week would have been a good compromise, but with the new house and work that isn't possible.

Does the new job come with any perks, such as flexi or toil? How poorly off are you currently?

ScottishInSwitzerland · 16/05/2018 14:49

I agree that it wouldn’t do any harm to go to the interview and do your real soul searching if you get offered the job.
It is so hard for people on the internet to advise you. I wouldn’t do it for £300 a month, but then I am in the incredibly lucky position where £300 a month isn’t much to us.

Another thing to maybe consider is where this potential new job might lead. My children are older than yours (6 and 8) and I currently work term time only at their school. It is fab but zero chance of career progression. I would probably change to another job on the same pay or only slightly more if it was a job in which I could see some potential progression, despite the fact that it would take away from my time with my children.

InDubiousBattle · 16/05/2018 14:56

No. I'd rather have the time with the baby.

justanotheruser18 · 16/05/2018 14:56

£300 extra? No way. Your baby is too important. IMO.

Original poster
gruffaloschild1 · 16/05/2018 15:57

Thanks for the advice. I've accepted the interview and weigh up the pros and cons in the mean time....

OP posts:
bazingabazinga · 16/05/2018 16:42

I should also add that £300 a month after all your deductibles is a good amount to have fun at the weekend/days off with your kids.

Leaving children to work and earn a living is not tantamount to abuse, despite what mumsnet seems to suggest at times. Think about whether that extra £300 could become a larger sum of money if you were to be promoted. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious and a mother. People will argue that your children won’t always be young and you should spend as much time as you can with them and I agree with that but they will also grow up and if you want to get back into a career/working ft then you’re years down the line.

I’m sure this post will get me a flaming but honestly I’ve really enjoyed FT work and being a mum. I just make the most of my time with my children at the weekend and through working compressed hours when I’ve needed to.

Think carefully about it. There are advantages to both your options. I can only tell you my experiences.

BugsBunny14 · 16/05/2018 17:01

I personally would not do it as this time with your LO is very very precious and would not come back.

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